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Old 01-06-2009, 06:25 PM   #1
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Angry Grrrr! What makes people think they have a right........

to make sarcastic judgemental comments about your weight loss efforts?

I am SO angry!

I went into a store this morning to buy some lunch - I picked up a chicken pasta salad, a bottle of water and a snack consisting of carrots and sugar snap peas. This is quite a typical lunch for me. I have lost 70 pounds so far and don't want to put any of that back on so I make a real effort to make healthier choices.

The store assistant remarked loudly "That's very healthy food" in a surprised way that suggested that was an unusual choice for someone my size. She then went on to say she bet my healthy eating wouldn't last - she would give me three days at most.

I was mortified and came out the store feeling deflated and with a very red face. How dare she? She doesn't know one thing about me or what I eat or my ability to stick to anything I put my mind to. She wasn't exactly thin herself and I was sorely tempted to say "you know you should try it sometime" but I resisted.

What makes someone like that think they have a right to comment on someone else!?

Sorry for the rant, I just had to let off some steam.
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:32 PM   #2
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This is the "New Years Resolution" assumption...eating healthfully and exercising is considered by some to be SO hard that the only people who do it are those who are starting it up at New Years. And quite possibly, she's already made and given up on her OWN resolution, so she's looking for someone to commiserate with. Plain and simple, she made an incorrect assumption, probably fueled by her own resolution struggles.

This is the same reason that lots of people going for their morning run on New Years Day, the same run they go on all the time, got knowing looks and thumbs-up from neighbors and people on the street. This close to Jan 1, people assume ANY positive health decision you make must be the result of some recent resolution.

But YOU know that this is long-term, and that you've proven you can go a lot longer than she thought you could. At the end of the day, that's what matters...you're the only one you have to answer to.
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:32 PM   #3
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well i think its exactly that, she probably cant stick to anything or make good choices and the only way to feel better about her own failure is to say that everyone fails , i bet she hopes you cant stick to it , it will only fuel her excuses for her own laziness. but you just show her. prove to her that it is only her. that you have motivation , self worth, and will power. maybe she will come out of her denial and be inspired by your self discipline and determination!
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:32 PM   #4
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Honestly, if someone said that (especially right to me) I would have asked to speak with her supervisor. that is extremely rude and inappropriate and she should not be working in the public eye if she is going to treat customers like that.

Sorry you had to go through that. You are amazing for losing 70 lbs and you can obviously stick to it if you have done so this far. Some people are just neive and feel the need to make others feel bad about themselves just so they can feel better about their insecurities.
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:32 PM   #5
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Wow, that's awful. But she was just projecting her own bad choices on to you, so don't sweat it. There are all kinds of jerks out there in the world, don't give them power over you! You are successful and powerful and healthy!

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Old 01-06-2009, 06:47 PM   #6
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You should have said "Um, actually...I have lasted longer than 3 days already...I have lasted (insert # of months) and lost 70 lbs. So you lost that bet...wanna try another?"

Not saying I would because I'm a wuss...but she deserves a smarta** comment like that to maybe keep her from making assumptions in the future.
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:51 PM   #7
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Wow!! I used to work in a supermarket as a cashier and if i has EVER said anyhting that rude to a customer, i would have been in a lot of trouble. Thats terrible that she said that. But i agree with the others.. she probably just made a bad assumption about you, so dont take it personally, your doing great!
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:56 PM   #8
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This sort of thing always happens when it comes to food - food is so engrained into our society and social lives that if someone does something out of the norm its almost a threat.

She probably felt threatened that you were making the RIGHT choices for your body whereas she is still eating tonnes of crap.

I really hate these comments too but unfortunately all we can do is just put up with them!
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:59 PM   #9
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I had a similar experience about a year ago. I went to the store and got a ridiculous amount of yogurt and a similarly ridiculous amount of lean cuisine meals. The cashier looked at my purchases, looked at me, and said "Looks like someone is starting a diet" My face got red and I quietly replied 'Yup' and left the store SO mad at myself. It wasn't true, I wasn't starting a diet - just busy at work leaving no time to prepare meals. She assumed I was starting a diet because of the light yogurt and the lean cuisine meals. I still regret not saying anything to her, or even saying the truth. It was so embarrassing and not speaking up will allow those kinds of people to continue thinking it's alright to speak to others that way. It's NOT okay. Grrr... I get so mad at myself when I think about that!!
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Old 01-06-2009, 07:05 PM   #10
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I'm sorry but I probably would have let the byotch have it. ETA: It is mean but something like, "and your qualifications as a store clerk are???"
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Old 01-06-2009, 07:26 PM   #11
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People say stupid, cruel, and rude things for a lot of reasons. Sometimes they are stupid, cruel or rude - other times the have a disconnect from brain to mouth (again maybe a permanent or often repeated situation, or sometimes just an unfortunate verbal accident).

Personally, I think it pays to treat it as an unfortunate accident, if at all possible. The best response (have a few handy) is something friendly that you can deliver in a kind, friendly, but slightly superior attitude (that way it works both for the well-intentioned because you come off as a friendly "teacher" and if it was meant rudely, the friendliness or the superiority is going to really stick in their craw and irritate the heck out of them - nothing irritates a nasty person quite as much as being treated like a "poor unfortunate idiot." If you're angry, speak slowly it adds to the impression)

Things like "Wow, I'm sure you didn't mean that the way it sounded."
"Wow, you've got to be careful who you say stuff like that too, someone could get offended and talk to your manager, and you could lose your job."

And of course, for days you just don't want to be kind and patient, a sarcastic (but still friendly, friendliness surprises and shames the accidental offender and royally ticks off the intentionally nasty) "Well, thank you Dr. ____ " (insert name if there is a nametag, or if not insert mild, but not offensive insuling term - after all there could be children present. Dingbat comes to mind, but feel free to come up with your own).
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Old 01-06-2009, 07:35 PM   #12
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I agree with some of the others that have posted that these kinds of comments are most likely to happen now, when the New Year's Resolutioners are out in full force. I actually HATE this time of year, when all the machines at the gym are taken because of New Year's Resolutions and everyone's on a crash diet that lasts 3 weeks.

If it were me, I would probably have been too shocked to say anything, but I definitely would not patronize that store any more.
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Old 01-06-2009, 07:57 PM   #13
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I feel you on this ... Your over there busting your behind to eat a healthy lunch and some hater has to put in their two cents in. Don't be discouraged girl, shake it off!

BTW ... almost the same thing happend to me, except the checker asked if i was pregnant ... some nerve!
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Old 01-06-2009, 08:04 PM   #14
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I'm not sure why people feel compelled to comment on food. It happened today to me in the break room. I was nuking my veggie burger to crumble on my salad - a GORGEOUS salad of romaine, carrots, purple cabbage, tomato etc. And the guy nuking his lunch next to me said "that looks like a really healthy lunch" I said "uh huh" and left it at that. It did make me feel a little self conscious though!

Please just blow that person off - they obviously don't have the sense God gave a junebug (no offense, Junebug, hee).
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Old 01-06-2009, 08:07 PM   #15
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Ahh!!! I am sure that I would have freaked out. Her only comments to customers should be "Did you find everything you were looking for?" smile and say "Have a nice day." No adlibbing for that cashier.
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