Long before I started my weight loss journey I had decided that my ideal weight would be around 150 pounds. Although I don't remember exactly how I came to that conclusion, I imagine that it probably involved taking a quick look at a BMI chart and making some wistful remarks to friends about how great I would look if I managed to lose X number of pounds. This weight would also put me squarely into the "healthy weight" range (and certainly make my doctors very happy). However, the closer I get to 150 the more I think about changing that goal to something a little lower.

Earlier today I was talking to a friend about this and she grew a little concerned that I would push my weight loss beyond a reasonable boundary. Her question to me (which I admittedly had a hard time answering) was, "So when will you decide that you're done?" Truthfully, I'm not really sure. I know that right now I have quite a lot of extra fat on my body, and at this point I'm not sure that losing only 20 pounds of it will completely satisfy me. Of course, I'll only know for sure once I get to that point, but all of this got me to thinking...

How did/will you know when to stop losing and start maintaining?

Hmm, I'm the other way around.

My goal is 112lbs - 8 stone, seems a nice round number, and seems 'thin' to me, without being too thin.

But as you can see, that would make my BMI 18.1, which seems kinda low. I think when I get to about 130lbs I'll revise my goal. It's less about a number, and more about a look, a size.

Only you (and your body) can decide what will work.

I started with a goal of 180, because I knew I had a big build and that I'd never be at the bottom of my "healthy" range. Once I got there, I decided I could push a bit lower (though still medically overweight by BMI chart, not by BF%). I actually went TOO low at one point, and looked seriously ill. 165-170 seems to be where I look good, feel good, can sustain my weight, and don't feel like death.

The point of this story...its all a guessing/adjustment game.

When I started I had my heart set on 165 - that seemed fine by me. As I got closer and closer I realized I had room (and spare tires) to spare. Currently I have a number that's just fanciful - half of my former self. I don't know what a mere 5 pounds will do - but it's certainly something to brag on when I reach it. But still, it's just a number picked out of thin air.

At this point, 10 pounds or so lower than my original goal I'm taking it slower. Reasonable enough. I'm also aiming for more of an ideal physique (like a superhero girl) than an ideal weight. For me, as I near whatever my ideal weight is (who knows?) it's more about the weightlifting and body fat percentages than the weight on the scale. It seems to impact my body composition more than a mere 5 pounds. I also feel it's a healthier way for me to look at it.

Also, as I get closer to goal and slowly realize I'm about there - the self satisfaction has been increasing, my confidence is there - I'm realizing I'm happy with how I look. It's a gradual process and since weight loss slows considerably near the end I've had time to adjust to what I look like.

So yeah, what I'm doing essentially is purposefully slowing down my weight loss at this point in order to let my brain wrap around my body. I don't want to end this marvelous journey underweight with a case of body dysmorphia. Because I lost 140+ pounds in a year this is essential for me. Everything has happened so unexpectedly quickly, I'm fine with prolonging it - taking my sweet time to discover what goal means to me.

All that rambling and no conclusive answer!

Drina,

I think that revision of one's goal weight is perfectly normal.
See, when I started, I thought (ok - read: hoped) I would lose 33 lbs. I had no idea what my goal should be, as I carried some extra pounds for years and lost them only for a brief period of time (less than a year) almost 10 years ago, and I could not remember how much I weighed at that time.

I even asked my doctor earlier this year (I think when I lost some 20 lbs or so) what she thought my target weight should be, and she could not tell me. She said I will probably be a better judge of that. And she was right.
I was done with the originally planned 33 lbs in August, and I knew I still had a TON more to lose. I revised my target weight twice and I think another adjustment will be necessary as I am getting very close.

At this point, I still have some blubber covering my stomach and I want it off. Also, I had a certain body fat percentage in mind, and I would like to achieve it - I don't know how much many more lbs it would take. However, I am in no rush whatsover so I am giving myself plenty of time (at this point, I think I will have to slow down a bit and perhaps cut some cardio and add more weight lifting). So what I am trying to say is that I don't know what the final number should be but I will figure it out - sooner or later. :-)

FB - lol!
We posted almost at the same time and almost the same thing.
Kindred spirits, I guess. ;-)

Ugh. Your post too closely relates to what I've been going through. I started at 255. Frankly, I thought it would be HUGE to even get below 200. Because of that, I set my first goal to 199. Once I hit under 200, it was like "hey, that wasn't so bad and it IS possible to see myself at a normal weight". I decided to set my next goal to 175 (thinking that is where I would stop). 175 just seemed so low. However, I am now sitting at about 180, and 5 lbs just does not seem like it will make a huge difference.

The problem started when I went home two ish weeks ago for the holidays. I an in college up in northern california, so I don't see my parents too too often. They have been aware of my journey, and this past time I was down, my dad began to pry. He would constantly make comments when he saw me measuring my food etc. He asked me at dinner one night "Okay, so what is your absolute lowest you've set for yourself" (referring of course to the lowest weight I would allow). I hesitated and said 160 is my goal, because that is 4 lbs under my highest "healthy weight" so it gave me that 4 lb space. Then I said "But I just don't know, I'll let you know when I'm happy".

Needless to say, he freaked out, gave me this lecture about how "people aren't born with eating disorders, they develop them" blah blah blah. I'd like to mention there has been no disorder about my lifestyle change, just a conscious effort at calories in vs calories out, which typically includes measuring food and sometimes being anal about what I eat or "waste calories on". Since it was the holidays, fuel was just added to his fire when I would pass up cookies or dessert.

I was really upset for a few days in a row after relentless comments, but later realized I truly am doing this for myself, and definitely have my health in mind. What he may think is an eating disorder is to me portion control.

Now, I have decided on a weight of 155, because that is just the weight I feel that I will truly be comfortable with. Still well within my "healthy" range. Will I change it again? Maybe. However, I am fortunate enough to live with my bf who understands my journey and has agreed to tell me when I've gone too far. Until then, I am not concerned, simply working hard toward achieving my goals.

As far as your friend being concerned, as long as YOU know you are doing what is healthy for yourself, that is all that matters. Good luck!

Like FB and Tomato, I have a spare tire that I'm very unhappy with.

So it sounds like your goals were determined by the weight at which you felt you looked the best, correct? Did anyone around you (partners, doctors, friends, etc.) have anything to do with your decisions?

I am not so much concerned with my goal in terms of pounds, I mean it's really just an arbitrary number that I thought would put me where I want to be. My goal is more about my appearance than anything else. If I am satisfied with 135 then awesome, if not I'll keep going. I do wonder too though if I will ever be satisfied, you know? We live in a society where body image is so distorted that I wonder if I would actually ever be happy with the way I look. Maybe once you hit that number and you still aren't satisfied, it's more about fixing your head then your body!

My goal, is considerably low... only about 5 lbs higher than *underweight* for my bmi i guess. I picked it, because 2 years ago i weighed about 115lbs.. and while my body was very nice and thin up top.. i still had quite a bit of weight to lose on ym bottomw half. I was still wearing a size 5/7! so i still felt quite chubby.. so i set my goal about 15 lbs lower. If i feel like at 110 0r 105 i like the way i look then ill stop there, but im not sure that 5-10 lbs would make a differenece, so im going for the lower number. I really hope im happy at that point, because i dont want to go lower than 95. I dont want to be considered underweight anymore than overweight lol.

Drina,

I dropped mine too. You and I are the same height. My first goal was to leave the obese category. Then, I wanted to leave the overweight category and hit 164. I then reduced it to 155. Recently, I dropped it to 140. I had all these excuses before about why I couldn't be a lower weight. I would tell myself things like:

1. I am big-boned and can't be a size 8. Bull, I am in a small 8 now.

2. My hubby likes shape. Well, he sure ain't complainin' now!

3. I just want to be healthy. It isn't about a size. While health is my motivating factor, I have to admit I like looking nice.

As you drop, you will know what is right for you. Using the published charts (easily accessed on the internet) will give you a good guide. Should you drop below what the charts deem healthy, I would seek medical help.

When I was 220 pounds, I thought 150 sounded great. Before kids and weight gain I was in the 135-140 range and was a size 6/8, so I figured I'd be thrilled to get to 150 and a size 10 or so. Now I am 20 pounds away from "goal" and I have so much fat left on me there is just no way it's all going to disappear in 20 pounds, so I will be going lower. I don't care so much about sizes anymore, but I do care about the excess belly, butt and thighs I still have. If I lose the fat and gain muscle I will be happy no matter what number the scale says.

You might want to focus on body composition more than just weight. If you don't already weight train, you might want to think about it. At one point when I started working with a trainer, I stayed the same weight but dropped a size (lost fat but gained muscle). I looked much trimmer, even though my weight hadn't budged.

My partner is happier that I'm happier, my doctor said she'd like 165, but to go for whatever is within reason and my best friend is supportive of whatever weight I do. So for me, no - this is all up to me. As a matter of fact, too much up to me I feel at times. I'd like some more feedback from my people!

My husband doesn't especially care for the whole weightlifter/supergirl physique, not his thing - but it's mine. He started dating me at a normal weight - he just prefers... softer more typically feminine bodies. He'll love it or leave it I say! JK, but really- I've always done what I want anyhow, he knows he's married to a girl who can pick his butt up and kick it if need be.

ETA: Tomato! I love a kindred spirit!

I think that's part of the reason why I settled on 150... I have a large frame and thought that anything less would not only look bad, but would be nearly impossible to reach. Now that I'm so close to that weight, though, it just doesn't seem so small anymore. I also used to think that 170 was thin, but I still feel fat at this weight. And truthfully, that makes me worry that perhaps my perceptions have become warped by this constant focus on weight and size, as cooperistic suggested can happen.


Ditto! According to my home scale (admittedly an unreliable Weight Watchers scale) I'm 30% fat right now!


Thanks, Heather. I started weight training a few months ago and have put on some muscle, and I imagine that I'll add some more before I'm "done" with my body. I think I'll still be better off going a little lower than 150 pounds, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see.


Me too, I'm a little worried that I won't be the best judge when it comes to how I look, especially given that I have a hard time figuring out what clothes look best on me!