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Old 12-21-2008, 09:42 AM   #31  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michele98272
He gained the 200+ lbs while in school. He says it was from the stress of school. I think it might have something to do with the apnea. He doesn't sleep well at all and seems to eat more when he's had a bad nights sleep.
It's not because he isn't sleeping well or because he's been under stress. He gained 200+ pounds because he overate. Most sleep apnea is a result of obesity, not the cause. Plenty of people go to school and need more sleep but don't gain 200+ pounds. As an R.N., he can find out all about this very easily.

Lapband may or may not be a solution. He is going to have to change his eating habits regardless of the lapband surgery.

I stopped letting my SO make my salads when I discovered how much dressing she was using. She has no weight issues, but just didn't get the measuring bit.

Jay
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Old 12-21-2008, 10:02 AM   #32  
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Sleep apnea is often caused by obesity, but it can also contribute to it. When I was diagnosed, my pulmonologist predictied that I would probably lose some weight just by using the CPAP. I was skeptical, but I can't discount his prediction. There were other factors, but I lost 20 lbs without trying (no dieting or intentionally cutting back in my eating, at all), and so I do not discount the possibility that the apnea was contributing to weight gain.

Sleep quality and stress do contribute to weight gain. They're not the whole picture, but they are part of it - but allowing 200 lbs to go by before doing something about it, is only going to make it harder, not easier to get the weight off. And while lack of good sleep and stress can contribute to weight gain, improving them doesn't automatically get much if any of the weight off.
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Old 12-21-2008, 10:23 AM   #33  
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well... i guess i can give a different view point... my fiance is underweight. he tries to gain but it wont happen, he is much healthier since being with me as previously he lived on micromeals and take aways.

he now eats whole grains, home cooked foods and veggies and fruit.

last night we had a discussion about nutrition and i explained to him the foods i now need to avoid as i change my eating plan. We had a really frank discussion about foods and what they do for your body. He had no idea what protein veg and carbs are for, let alone which foods were which. it scared me! i know so much about it and he thought eggs were carbs.

i guess im teaching him at the same time, but he would love to be able to gain some weight.
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Old 12-22-2008, 02:57 AM   #34  
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Jenquin, I'm of the school of thought that the more you mention this to your husband, the more resistant he will become (because he's scared...he knows it won't be easy). And my only suggestion is to make sure you fix your own meals (and the kids) and let him prepare his special meals if he's not willing to eat what you prepare. Let him know how important it is to teach the kids to eat right before they develop bad habits.

Then...this might be tough if you two are used to doing most things together. Just start doing your own thing with your kids and your friends. Always be sure to ask him if he wants to join you, but when he says no, just leave him home and go have fun. And I mean have a lot of fun. Go roller skating with the kids. Take a dance class with a friend. Join a hiking club. Just get out there and have a good time and let you and the kids show him (without saying anything) how much more fun your life is when you are active...and maybe he'll start to feel left out and lonely and start to wonder what he needs to do to change that. He may start to worry that he will lose you if he doesn't start to join you in some of your activities. I'm not saying to do anything to make him jealous deliberately, but it may be a positive side effect.

On the walks hurting his feet. I can commiserate, as I have foot problems that make it impossible to walk if I don't wear the right footwear. The next time you ask if he wants to tag along on a walk and he says no..it will just hurt my feet, why not offer to buy him a new pair of shoes, designed to prevent his foot pain. He may need to get a diagnosis of what's wrong with his feet and get some special pediatric shoes or supports. But if there is a way to fix it, that could help him get inspired to walk at a pace that does not give him racing pulse.

Also, continue to show him a lot of affection and sexual attraction...so he feels wanted and self-assured around you. His self-esteem will have a lot to do with his wanting to improve himself. Low self-esteem may keep him on the unhealthy food binges.
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Old 12-22-2008, 04:42 AM   #35  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenguin View Post
How does your spouse/significant other fit into your weight loss plan?
pretty easy.. mine left.

With that said I have learned from watching 2 brother-in-laws die from heart attacks from extreme obesity, a younger sister who had diabetes and still smokes after 25 years and a relative die from alcoholism that NO ONE can make someone do something they do not want to do.

There is the age old saying... you can lead a horse to water yada yada yada.

All you can do is inform them and try and lead by example and hope they follow. If you talk about it too much it will be interpreted as nagging.

I myself use myself as an example. I have been told for years lose weight or I will shorten my life and I didn't listen until I started getting health problems. But I am thankful that at least I now see the light.

Many unfortunately don't.

All you can do is inform them, set a good example, kiss them every day and be happy for the day because everything can change with one phone call... I know.

Oh yeah and also taking out a large insurance policy doesn't hurt either!
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