I've been thinking about this thread a lot and haven't been sure how to respond. It's really gotten me to think about the weight I've lost and why I did it. I apologize that this is really long and somewhat rambling ... but it sort of took off on me as I wrote it.
This is from my perspective, having been fat, currently being not-fat-but-not-skinny, and hoping some day to be skinny-but-fit.
70 lbs ago I was fat, but I didn't think I was ever unattractive. I took care of myself. I bought nice clothes. I went to the spa and got my eyebrows done and my bikini line waxed. I got my toes done every 2 weeks. I used creams and lotions and took care of my skin. I cut and coloured my hair. I never used "fat" as an excuse to not take care of myself or present myself well.
70 lbs ago I was healthy (according to most medical standards). I never had high blood pressure. I never had high cholesterol. I never had diabetes symptoms. Etc.
70 lbs ago I was reasonably in shape. Obviously now I'm more in shape, but even so, I work a fairly physical job and I was able to do that job and do it well.
70 lbs ago there wasn't any real reason that I felt like I needed to lose weight. I'd gone through the self-hate stage. I'd gone through the fat-acceptance stage. I'd gone through all those stages. And bottom line was, I was healthy, was attractive enough, and despite the occasional clothing shopping annoyance, I was happy enough with where I was. I had a fat best friend who shopped with me and ate with me, and did sort of half-hearted working out with me and we supported each other. I even had a boyfriend who found me perfectly attractive and sexy just as I was.
I was never miserable or unhappy or lonely - and certainly not because of my weight. I had friends, I did things, I loved my job I was perfectly happy.
If someone had tried to convince me to lose weight at that point, I honestly probably would have felt much the same as the OP. Why? What benefit would it have? What can being skinny give me that I don't already have? What additional happiness could I gain from being skinny?
And for everything that anyone could have told me, I would have had an answer.
You'll feel attractive for yourself. But I did then.
You'll be healthier. But I was healthy then.
You'll be in shape. But I was fairly fit then.
You'll be able to wear cute clothes. But I liked the clothes I had.
Case closed.
When I began to lose weight, it wasn't even a conscious decision to begin. I had started going to the gym to become stronger because it was getting harder and harder to recover from my weekend work. But I had no plan to lose. I just thought I'd build up some muscle to help me tote cameras around and such.
And I lost 70+ lbs.
And over the last 2 years I have realized that there are so many intangible things that have changed for the better because of that loss.
I feel SO much more attractive and comfortable with my body than I did before. (But I wouldn't have believed you, if you'd told me I would feel that much more attractive.)
I LOVE being able to go into any store in the mall and find something cute that fits. To wear things that cling to my hips and my waist (and holy ----! I have a waist!) and make me feel sexy. (But, I'd have said, I feel sexy now!)
And all the little things: I love to sit in a chair and not fill the whole seat. I get this thrill out of having space between my thighs and the arms of the chair to tuck my purse. I love not having to suck in and squeeze between chairs at the restaurant (not that sucking in did much good!
). I love not minding being the person to sit in the middle in the back of the car. I love being able to take a bath and submerge my whole body. I love that I can wrap a regular sized bath towel around me. I love that I'm ot afraid to wear a belt. And on and on.
But the biggest things that have made a difference ... and that I could never have understood 70 lbs ago:
I feel so much healthier. Not just that I am healthier ... but I FEEL like my body is this healthy, well tuned machine. I crave exercise and movement and I leave the gym and can feel the blood racing through my body and the muscles twitching and resettling and it feels ... GOOD. Damn it feels good.
The day after a workout I can feel all those muscles slightly sore and stretchy - and it's a good sore and it feels like I've used my body in the way it's meant to be used. It feels like I've done something good for me.
And when I get up in the morning and take a shower, I can see the muscles in my legs. I can feel the muscles in my arms and shoulders as I run the washcloth over them. I reach around to wash my back and ... I can REACH my back. I lift something down from the top shelf and I feel the muscles in my shoulders flex and I'm freakin' proud of that! I love that those muscles aren't hidden under layers of fat (well, not much!
) and that I can see them and others can see them.
Foods taste different to me and I relate differently to food. I still love rich creamy foods, cheesy foods, salty snacky foods, but I also have realized that they will always be there and I don't have to eat them like I'm deprived or like they'll go away tomorrow. And because of that I ENJOY them more. I had a 1/3 of a pumpkin scone from Starbucks today and I enjoyed it so much. Before I'd have scarfed it down and hardly tasted it ... but now I'm aware of what I'm eating and I LOVE food so much more now.
And all of these things are things that ... they're intangible. If you haven't felt them and don't know how good they feel, then you don't know what you're missing. I can tell you how fantastic I feel and how much I feel like my life has improved in hundreds of teeny-tiny small ways, but it's nothing that I can draw a line in the sand and say "before this, it was bad - now it's good".
It's kind of like ... I dunno. How do you describe a symphony to a deaf person? How do you explain what they're missing when they've never heard it to begin with? No, that's not even right. How do you describe music to a hearing person who has never heard music? They can hear ... there's nothing wrong with their hearing, but they've never experienced music. How can you explain how much richer their life would be for having music in it ... when they already have a satisfying life? What do you say when they say "eh, it doesn't matter ... I don't need music." How do you say "but you don't know what you're missing" ... and expect them to get it?
For those of us who have been fat for longer than we were ever slim and healthy ... or who have never been slim and healthy .. or who don't remember what it was like to be slim and healthy ... you simply can't explain what is so AMAZING about it. Because the words just aren't enough.
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The thing is (to the OP) you say that it gives you power and it delights you to "prove them wrong" about stereotyping you. But IMO, that just gives THEM more power over you. You're giving someone else the power to dictate that you stay fat, no differently than if you gave them the power to dictate that you lose weight.
Ultimately unless the decision you make is for you and SOLELY for you - to stay fat to lose weight whatever - then you are giving others power over you.
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Edited: I'm really sorry that this is such a novel.
I started writing and stuff just started pouring out. I hope it makes some kind of sense to those to actually read the whole thing.
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. And their expectations have a whole lot more to them than just weight. You could weigh 120 pounds, be fashionably underweight, and still be a total dork 
