OMG I totally agree with you peccavi. Sounds like our situations are almost identical.
My husband and I have been married for 7 years this month. When we met, I had triumphed (for the second time, after a lifetime of being obese) and weighed 160 pounds. My confidence was up. I was outgoing, bubbly, I know I was more attractive. But the key is "I". I felt better about myself at that time.
Like many other wonderful men in our lives, as I read this thread, he continues to love me, says that size doesn't matter to him. But I have a sense of loathing myself. So the sex isn't all that great. I don't feel sexy or attractive anymore.
There is a big difference in 225 and 160. Seven years together and 2 children later, the love is the same but my connfidence in myself isn't.
I think that is what makes the difference.

At my highest I was almost 270, but managed to get down to about 220 2 years ago when me and the bf met. I've never had a problem getting a date or having a long term relationship, but have certainly had my times feeling quite fat, ugly and just UGH overall. When I met him, I was feeling very confident and getting lots of attention. Of course we all know what happens when we start feeling too comfortable in a relationship and the calories start flowing like water :)

Anywho to summarize, my honey is a very fit, muscular 190-something, very attractive blonde haired, blue eyed sexy man. He gets all kinds of attention all of the time and while I've never been the jealous type, I often feel like he "deserves" someone in better shape than myself. Like lots of you have said, I don't think he has ever looked at me differently and I don't think we have suffered any in the affection department aside from my own inhibitions. He has been so supportive of my weight loss efforts and I know he wants me to look better because *I* want me to look better.

All of that being said, mine IS the jealous type so I often wonder what it will be like when I am in bikini shape (and I will be dang it!)... time and weight loss will tell I guess.

My husband couldn't keep his hands off of me when we first met and I was 130 and he couldn't keet his hands off of me when I was at my highest of 187....but that might have just been because my boobs got bigger as I got fatter...haha.

Anyway, I'm the one who is ashamed to get naked in front of him in my current position...he could care less. I just have to lose the weight for me so that I can feel better about being naked in front of him again.

Nixie! That is crazy that we have that much in common. I am so sorry for your loss, I know how tough it can be particularly towards the holidays. I am prepping myself for the 'first Christmas' without and am trying to find things other than food to turn to for comfort!

Soon, we will be the 'little nymphos' again!

In my experience, it was my attitude that effected my relationships when I was overweight more than the actual weight itself. When I was heavier I felt uncomfortable and shy and had a hard time being intimate. A lot of times I would criticize myself in front of partner. It was that behavior that turned them off more than how I looked.

I've been dating my current boyfriend for about a year. When we started dating, I was 30lbs heavier and he was 30lbs lighter. But, we're both comfortable with our bodies and our relationship. The weight has made no difference whatsoever on us. I think sometimes we don't give guys enough credit- I'm not going to leave him because he gained some weight, just like he isn't going to leave me because I lost some!

We've been married 16 years. I was about 150 when we met. I gained all the way to 220+ at one point. He has always loved me and has always initiated intimacy and all that. But now I get so much attention, all the time. Back rubs, helping me more, supportive comments, encouraging me to buy more for myself, etc. all the time. I am loving it!

I wonder about my relationship all the time. My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years, he proposed in August (I guess he's not just a boyfriend anymore!-still not used to it!), so we're planning the wedding. I'm determined to lose the weight. I have never been so set on something in my life. We've both gained weight being together (both of us were heavy when we met), he joined the gym with me but is having a hard time going. He continues to say over and over that once I lose weight I will leave him for someone "better". I don't know if he's just insecure or what the deal is. I'm scared that once I do and start dressing sexy again he'll be even more insecure.
Thanks for letting me vent!

Here's hoping!!;)