Sorry he's such a sad, sad little man. Sounds like this is just more of the same for him. I feel sorry for your hubbie, having to grow up with that guy. Sadly, you'll probably get similar comments from him, especially as you continue to progress, maybe even more of them. Can you make a plan for dealing with him?

Yesss. I love out-nicing people. I'll kill them with kindness or win them over. It is sweet.

I agree that it sounds like his comment was motivated by jealousy at the changes you are making for yourself, or his own insecurity, if they aren't typical for him. And like Amanda said, if they are typical for him then he is just a mean, small man. He likely figured that since you were dieting and making a noticeable change in yourself that you were self conscious about your progress and decided to poke at it. Don't let him get you down. You are doing this for you, not for him! :)

Wow! I came back here this afternoon to check my thread, and I'm blown away by all your replies. I really do appreciate the support. Each of you has a great insight to offer. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I'm not very computer literate so do not know how to past replies, and then comment on them, ya know? BUT, each of you makes a great point. Sometimes it is helpful to just have some feedback. I've come to some conclusions after reading your comments: 1. I didn't imagine he was being rude, he really was, 2. I can't let someone else's problem with himself affect me and how I view myself and 3. I need to develop a plan to deal w/ future comments like that. Thank you so much chicks! :hug:

Never mind him...just keep doing what you are doing...You handled that situation with grace and class, something he might not have no matter what he weighs...

Lainey,

to quote someone hit the quote button in their comment, and then just delete the sections you don't want. (Leaving the quote instructions intact.)

I find that having a response can be really helpful. One of the best is "Why would you say something like that?" Let him struggle with a response! (Of course the other might be, "No, I'm headed in the other direction."

Good luck, toxic folks are just that...don't give them power over you.

See, I was thinking meaner things, like "Wow, is your eyesight going, too?" But probably not very productive as a comment.

People who make cruel remarks to others are usually in terrible emotional pain and don't have the depth or insight to comfort themselves in a healthy way. They look for people that are sensitive then try to "bring them down". They feel superior for a short time, then start looking for another victim. You were right to take the high road.
I try to remember that all mean comments really mean- "I'm in unspeakable pain and don't know how to help myself"
It takes the sting and embarrassment out of the situation and helps me recover from the awkward situation quickly.

Please don't let a careless comment from one person make you doubt yourself. You ARE doing great! You've lost 15 pounds, clothes that were too small previously are fitting again, and most importantly, you're feeling GOOD about yourself! These are all good things!

Wow, I didn't know my husband had a brother. ;) You & me must have the same FIL...LOL Seriously, I think sometimes people just say the wrong thing...it just comes out wrong. Unless he's naturally a nasty, bitter, old man I'd give him a 2nd chance. Pity him.

I've lost 34 lbs so far and it happens to me too, day before yesterday I met an old friend who saw me an year back at my highest and he still commented .."wow you have put on a lot".. and then the second comment popped in.."You must do something to get in shape" and I smiled said Thanks & walked away...sure I got little disappointed for a moment but I recalled the compliments I keep getting from others and moved on.

If you can fit into your old clothes then you've actually got leaner..so enjoy that feeling and don't let these stupid comments disturb you.

Everyone in my family has commented on my weight loss...but my grandmother told me that "It doesn't look like you've lost any weight".

I'm going to chalk it up to her being old. :snooty:

There will always be someone who opens their mouth and inserts their foot. We can change how we react to it though. If she wasn't my grandmother I would have given her a smart a** remark back.

Congrats on your weight loss, btw!

What a jerk. I can relate- my relatives are always taking jabs at my weight, which is ironic, because they are all significantly overweight themselves. Just ignore him, he is probably seeing your new confindence in yourself, and just wants to tear you down to make himself feel better. Don't let him make you lose sight of your goal, otherwise he'll win. Keep losing the weight and the next time you see him and are even thinner than before, it will be like a slap in his face. Keep going girl! You're doing great!

yeah I know several passive aggresive people. The funny thing is if you stop look them directly in the eye and say "you just hurt my feeling with what you said!" 99 times out of a hundred they will shrug and say ...

"I was just kidding!"

Woner what he will say the next time he sees you and you are thin and he's still a chub! You might get some satisfaction there! :D

A big THANK YOU to Pandora, for helping to see how to use the quote button - woo hoo! :)

And I like your response as well as many of the responses I've read here this afternoon!

These types of comments from "friends" and "family" seem to have happened to all of us at one time or another. What really resonates in all your replies is how these kinds of comments, even though hurtful, can spur us on to keep going. Thanks for all the great insights ladies. :hug: