Wow, well it sounds like you've given him the heave ho thank goodness. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. You will find someone else who will appreciate you just the way you are!
This guy sounds verbally and emotionally abusive -- and what's worse, he's saying these jackass things and then trying to spin it like he's the good guy for saying them! ("Oh, I was just telling you to help you, I swear..." Bull****!)
Dump his ***. Make him move out asap. Throw his **** on the lawn. You get the picture.
Lose him....If he doesn't value you now, he never will. You could be large, small, tall, short, change colors, or glow like the moon and he'd never be happy. He is probably "totally fine" with things because he realizes nobody else would put up with him like you have. He told you the truth.. if he doesn't love you now, there's no way he will love you later. Too many available men out there to deal with that.
Jealous of your progress.... btw... keep up with those positive changes you have been making. (Now make one more... lose the dude.)
Dump the chump ASAP. He did you a favor and showed his true vain self before you were married to the guy. What if you had brain surgery and had to go bald? Would he have verbally let you down then? Don't do this guy any favors with the living situation, he didn't do you any for your ego.
I'll jump on the dump him bandwagon also. He doesn't deserve you at all. If he could fall out of love because you got heavy, then he'll fall out of love with you for a lot of other reasons. It's his problem, not yours.
My dh is just now starting to make comments about my weight, (I put back on about 25 pounds over the last few years) but it's not mean...it's more like "hey, do you want to go to the gym with me?" and "I'm worried about your health, I don't want anything happening to you" type comments. nothing about "I don't love you because you're heavier then what I like"
So, be happy he's not in your life any longer and kick him to the curb if he tries to come back. Tell him he doesn't deserve a second chance and definately doesn't deserve you in his life...you're too good for him.
should i tell him the only thing i need to lose is him?
Yeap - that's exactly what you should tell him.
Also, give him a deadline by which he is allowed to stay in the apartment - and don't be too generous. Even if he begs on his knees to take him back. The sooner he is outta there, the better.
you people....are soooooooooooooooooooooooooo supportive!!!! thank you thank you.....you have truly made me feel better and more confident....and you know what you all are right!!! thanks for letting me see his true colors. also circebee. lol wow....i want to be more like you! lol and thanks for the weight loss comments...you guys are awesome awesome awesome!!!
So, all the chicks here are obviously right-as they so often are.
My .02: When someone asks what happened to jack***, reply "Gone. LONG GONE" and smile because every time someone asks you can reaffirm to yourself that you are better off without that sad, sorry, sack-of-s***.
I agree with the others...dump his sorry *** and throw him out of the apartment! You deserve someone who will still love you even if you were to gain 200 pounds. What he said about there being lots of available men out there applies to you too...I'm sure you can find someone who can appreciate you for not just your looks.
Hi hotpod - Sorry about the breakup, that's always rough to get through, particularly since you have to live together for a spell.
But Congrats on the weight loss and BIG Kudos for the transformation that the loss is for you.
I agree with all the others that a guy who says those things to you isn't good for you. In response to your question, I don't know what it says about his character. I do suspect that it says he was into you just for the physical aspect or just as eye candy, while you were into him for a relationship. A bit of a mismatch that doesn't have much chance of working.
Good luck in getting physically free of him so that you can pursue your own life. I hope you continue to post on 3FC to encourage your eating plan and exercise plan. There aren't that many of us men - I'm glad you're here.
because every time someone asks you can reaffirm to yourself that you are better off without that sad, sorry, sack-of-s***.
