Hi everybody how was all your Mothers days??
Mine was pretty good.. I went to my Moms house.. It feels funny going there it sounds so hollow she has been decluttering too..
My kids bought me 6 lilac colored roses and DH bought me an outdoor dining set
FLOWER: How are things going?? Did the talk you had with Chris wake him up?? I know that talk was hard but it had to be discussed.. Dont let his words confuse you.. I know it is hard but this is your life as well.. You need to do what you feel is right for your happiness as well..I have had to have this same kind of talk with my DH back in Sept and it isnt any easier even with a 20 year history.. Luckily my talk woke him out of his self centered routine.. As for why does he put off untill tomorrow, well since he is a male he doesnt realize that tomorrow never comes, and I had to point that out to my DH (DH in this post isnt referring to "dear"or "d*mn" hubyy it is referring him as D*ck head, I apologize now for my choice of words but that is the only nicest term I could use for how I felt at the time) Men do seem to fall into the thoughts as women can do and are always happy to do thing for themselves.. Afterall I know that my DHs mom was like a supermom when he was growing up she never complained never asked for help etc.. Well that sorta thing just doesnt fly in these days..I am not making excuses for Chris just trying to be the devils advocate I guess. I had the same type motivation in my desision to talk with my DH as you did with Chris.. I know it has nothing to do with you going from one to the other.. Just the fresh perspective of life feeling is so overpowering, it really feels good to have someone point out the good aspects of yourself.. And feels great to have a guy show you the best qualities about yourself that even you have forgotten. To realize that you arent DEAD and buried, that you just forgot that you were alive to begin with..I admit I did give more chances then I could or should have given but I thought it was best to do so..Afterall I did have just blown his whole ideas of what he thought were reality outta the water and made him face the REAL reality of what was really going on..And still when he starts to try to slip back in what we discussed I mention to him "Is that really something you should be doing? " I still have my lawyers number all I have to do is call" I know that is blackmail but I think most men werent bred right to understand. I also use to go thru alot of emotional and physical abuse with my DH , becasue I know that is what he used to see growing up.. It isnt excuses that too was brought up and fully discussed at my little talk.. I no longer go thru that sh*t anymore he saw what he was doing and he changed that..So far that change has stuck with him, and he knows that if any of that stuff starts up again I am gone..No note no way of finding me.. (Although I would miss the computer) As I was going to say before I started rambling on and on.. Chris just had his reality blown right outta the water I know you feel like you shouldnt give him a chance but maybe if you give him a last ditch chance he will fix his ways..But stick FIRM to whatever choice you make.. My DH made all the same accusations that Chris made to you..It took a few other talks to clear the slate..It doesnt always happen overnight..I admit to this day I still dont have that "deep in love" feeling like I did back when I met him.. He did damage that slowly heals.. I am healing slowly and so is my DH.. My talk did alot of damage to him as well..My love is coming back but I think I am cautious so not to get lost in that agin .. OK if that didnt make sense I am sorry I am just trying to explain that I know what boat your in right now and I know how sucky that feeling is..Just be strong and have faith in yourself ..

OK I am going to end here so I can check back in later with you all.. Hope all is going good
Take Care
Sheila

Hi everyone! :wave:

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's day (or "Others Day" for us Moms with non-human babies) :D

I am happy to report that I'm back down to my pre-illness weight. I'm looking forward to finally having some forward progress next week! I have a dress I want to wear to California in 6 weeks - it is my goal to be able to wear it. I can get it on and buttoned all the way up, but the "boobage" is making the buttons spread funny... :o

Flower - I have to tell you how proud of you I am. Unfortunately, the hardest, most heartbreaking decisions we make are usually the best ones for us. You have to take care of yourself the next few weeks. This was a life altering decision and believe me, even if it is the right one, you're going to feel like you were hit by a bus.
I was planning on being married forever, I didn't want to be divorced like my parents and when I met and married my husband I wanted it to be "happily ever after". It wasn't - just like you I woke up one morning and wondered if this was what my entire life was going to be - argueing, unhappiness, bickering and the occasional good time. It took me 4 years to leave him. It was the hardest, BEST decision I've ever made and part of me mourns the years I wasted being unable to make the big decision to go. He was awful, hateful and mean about it. He told me he hoped my next boyfriend beat me so that I'd know how good I had it with him - and other things that weren't the point. You have to understand that Chris is angry - at you, at himself, at how life is sometimes and most of all that you're making a decision that he can't control. If he planned on being with you forever he would've worked at making the relationship - not just let it happen. Some relationships are like gardens outta control and end up infested with weeds, a good relationship takes some pruning, weeding and care for it to produce good things.
You can never go wrong when you make a decision to do what's right for you. If it's time to go, then you make the decision and do it. Life's too short to be unhappy or to settle...

Whew... on a lighter note... my cousin had her baby - a boy finally! This is Grandbaby #9 for my aunt. :eek: Gotta love that Mormon faith...

Have a good week everyone!

Terri :moo:

Hi everyone. Thank you. Yesterday was one of the hardest/worst days of my life. Top 5 anyways. He packed some things and left. My baby threw a temper tantrum. Kicked and screamed and wouldn't come to me for an hour. My older boys cried and cried. He is dad in their eyes. Cameron was 6 and Riley 2 when Terry died. I feel like the biggest meanie. He called before he went to bed last night and asked if we could date. I told him to call me in a week and ask me out. I suppose that can"t hurt much. Who knows maybe I will be happy to see him. I am worried about him. He has always been so strong willed. A true Leo. He looked like a wounded puppy. Too much guilt for one to handle on mother's day. The thing that gets me is that if he really was willing to change, he would have gotton me a mother's day card from Griffin. nothing... That hurt terribly. I filled my day with doing laundry yesterday. I am happy to have work to go to today.

The big question of the day, can I get through the day without crying. I sure hope so cause I look cute and my mascara will run. :) I was 194 two weeks ago. I was 173 today. I am sure as soon as I eat fast food, I will gain 10 pounds...so maybe I will stay away from McDonalds. :p I ate a bowl of cherrios with Strawberrys and soy milk a 1/2 hour ago. Thats all I can stomach.

Well...life isn't suppose to be easy, but it sure should be more fun. ~flower

Flower ~ Sending you cyber-support. I hope that everything works out for the best. Sounds like your doing Awesome with the weight--- STAY AWAY from the fast food demons! Not only is is fattening it is BAD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Punkin ~ Glad your on the rebound... it sounds like you are much better ! Good luck on the outfit.

Sheila ~ Glad you had a nice Mother's Day.. Are you feeling better?

Kim ~ When is the Marathon ? Good luck! It is such a good cause!

Things are grand here, DH has gotten bit by the spring fever bug so we are doing some more "projects" :dizzy: Can't say I am too excited because it usually ends up filling every minute of my spare time and THAT sucks! but they usually turn out wonderful.

Will post a picture of the newest "project when DH and I get through.

Hope your all well!

Hugs to you!

Amy

I really hate that we have lost so many folks... if there is anyone out there lurking it would be nice if you just popped in ..... Ruthie, Summer, Linds? and everyone else that I know is lurking and just not posting :( shame on you!

:)

Just wanted to send a big *HUG* to Flower.

I will pass on your concern to Ruthie.

Things are a little nuts here. We're moving, well, trying to find somewhere to move to, and work is becoming unbearable. I think hubby is going to start job-hunting, and I won't be far behind.

Sorry I've been absent of late.

Flower, I know that was really difficult for you to make the decision you made--it certainly sounds like you gave the relationship every chance. Hope it all works out--I'm sure it will.

Sorry I've been out of touch--Too Much Work! I've been really off-program lately too....I'll try to check in more often.
:)

I feel very invisable today. I feel so very alone. Yes, I wanted it that way. BUT it is still a major shock to the system.

The wierdest thing...I have always eatten out of habit. The last 2 weeks, I eat cause I have to. You know, sides ache, getting shaky, your co workers hear your stomach yelling at you! I actually don't grab the 1st thing I see either. I threw fries out yesterday becuase I knew I only wanted the grilled chicken sandwich. Maybe I can do this for awhile. Actually eat when I am hungry and not cause I am bored, confused, frustrated, sad....

It will be nice when I feel like smiling again. Maybe I can fake it till I make it. I am sleeping okay though. And the pounds I have lost makes all my clothes fit better.

I have to take Cameron to the doctor today or tomorrow. I think it is broncitis. Yet again.... He is coughing so much. I should have called in but he wanted to go to school. Being a single parent sucks! But I can deal with this. Just so much change.

Well, time to get everyone ready. I wish I had more upbeat stuff to contribute to this conversation. I am going to start working out again tonight. It is bathing suit weather and I am not going to hide in my clothes all summer!!!!!!!!!! ~flower

Had to buy a bathing suit and a couple of pairs of shorts.... it sucks shopping!!!!!!! I know I am not that big but it depresses me everytime I have to try something on. I know it isn't going to get any better and the older I get the harder it is going to be to get the rest of this weight off. I haven't been trying really hard but it is time to get back on the wagon. It is kind of like drinking and the alcoholic... on just one drink won't hurt me but that one drink lead to the next and so on and so forth.

I need to lose 20 pounds at the least the 10 or 12 I have gained back. I am still fitting in the clothes that I bought last summer but I feel big and it really reallly reallllly stinks.

I am vowing today.... I will stay OP until I get back down to 140ish and I am going to get down to 130ish if it kills me!!!!!! I am not going to eat bad and I AM going to exercise.

Flower ~ the smile will come back and having been a single parent for more years than I have been married.... it is hard as heck and I don't envy you... once you get into a routine and the initial shock of being "single" again blows over your going to be great!

WF ~ Sorry to hear about the stress! Good luck with the job hunting and the move!

Hugs to you all,
Amy

Hello everyone :wave:

I've been in a foul mood again... :mad: Not sad, just ready to rip heads off at the drop of a hat. I don't know why, but I think it could be that I *still* have a sore throat so I know I'm going to have to go to the Dr.'s again :rolleyes:
I'm a little stressed about my Dad coming to visit next Tuesday. We speak every week, but when we're together for longer than a few hours we end up with nothing to say... I'm honestly thinking of topics NOW so this doesn't happen.
And last but not least, yesterday would've been my 9th wedding anniversary had my ex not been such a blathering schmuck. Oh, I don't miss him - really, I don't, but I get a bit peeved when I think of the fact that I wasted 7 years in the prime of my young adulthood busting my butt trying to MAKE a marriage work, when he didn't care if he was married or not...

Flower - how are you doing? I knew you'd feel really "off" after all this. Believe me, it gets better!

Amyjo - I hear ya... I have to go buy a couple summer tops today. Ick.

Ruuuuuthieeeeee??? Where are youuuuuuu???


Well, I better get some work done...

Terri :moo:

Okay, well I have an excuse... I was out of town all weekend but what about the rest of you? I am about to send out the search crews for the rest of you!

Well, I had a very cold, rainy weekend at the beach. Of course, the first rain we have had in 8 weeks happens the night we leave for vacation and in turn drops the temp about 20 degrees ... which would of been fine but we were going to the beach to get sun and R and R... got plenty of rest and relaxation but sun wasn't to be seen.

Well, I blew my diet this weekend, starting back on the Lower Fat, Reduced sugar counting calories kick... it worked before and I am getting miserable.

Well, hope everyone is well.

Hugs to you all,
Amy

Hello! :wave:

I'm still here, and not so grouchy anymore. My Dad and stepmother are coming in from Arizona today and I'm super stressed out about it... I don't know why - I keep reminding myself that this is MY home. We have a good, but slightly strained relationship (as in after 30 min. what do we talk about??). I am looking forward to showing them my accomplishments though - a have a very cool house ifIdosaysomyself.... :cool:

I am also happy to say that I'm semi-off my plateau. I'm down 1 pound BARELY! Damned peanut butter/chocolate oreos! Ooooh, sure.... I can just have one and put them away - sure I can. :rolleyes: No more of those - they're evil.

Flower - How are you? The feeling of "whammo" will pass, but it's going to take time.

Everyone - Are you all out enjoying Spring???? Come baaaaack!

Terri :moo:

Yesterday was the 6th year anniversary of my husband's passing. I thought I was going to be asked out for dinner from a co worker, but that didn't happen. I was looking forward to a distraction. Instead Chris came over. I realize I have nothing to say anymore. So very sad.

I am going clothes shopping this week. A few non iron white shirts and new hose and underwear! Everything is too baggy. ~flower

Maybe it's time for a new thread? See you there.