One of the big causes of stress is doing so much, sometimes under huge pressure. I'd like to have more time on a regular basis to just enjoy the basics of living. Putter around the house, take time to cook a meal, enjoy a TV show. Get out from under all of the demands. I want more time to do things I want to do. I was going to read "The Secret Life of Bees" before the movie came out, but I've left it sitting there after just a couple of pages. And I wanted to read it. I just got so busy and tired.

But the flip side is that I LIKE being able to handle things. I like being the one who can get things done, the one they turn to "when it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight." I don't want to lose my edge, to not be the one who always has the answers. I see so many people waste their lives, and I don't ever want to do that. My parents did that. Accomplished so little, left so little behind when they died.

Also, I tend to get involved in things when no one else picks them up. If I didn't do them, no one would, and I like that what I do has an impact on the world. Such as for charity work. It helps me to live with the world, which sometimes seems to have so much bad in it. I can't fix everything, but it makes me feel better when I can do my little part. But, at the same time, there always seems to be some need to fill, something more to be done.

Wow... This is a pretty tall order for anyone! Do you mean to say that if you're not the one who has all the answers, then you have wasted your life? :chin: Gosh, I don't think that would be true! You are more than your "accomplishments"!

Well, you're right. There will always be more to do. It is never-ending. And here's what happens to people like yourself who feel like they "have" to do things if no one else is doing them: One day they collapse completely, usually while they are trying to get the laundry done, paint the living room, and write a policy document for work, all at the same moment. ;)

Don't be like that. There is nothing gained by it. People will just shake their heads and say, "Gosh, what a burnout case. Too bad she tried to do so much." :?:

Here are two sayings that helped me to get over my compulsion to work too much--and it is a compulsion, really--it looks like ambition, but it's not--it's something else. Anyway, they are:

"If I don't do it, someone else will, AND THAT IS OK."
"If I don't do it, no one else will, AND THAT IS OK."
--Anne Wilson Schaef

"NO! NO!" you may cry. But think about it. When do you think you'll get to read the books you want to read, watch a program on TV, cook a meal, if you don't stop overworking? No one else is going to make this happen but you.

FWIW,
Jay

Well, I said no to a couple of obligations this past week. It's really been hard. One person understood. Others, not so much. But I do think I'm going to have to make some lifestyle changes because my priorities and how I'm spending my time isn't entirely working for me. I happened upon an article about a four-quadrant exercise where you categorize things that are urgent/not and important/not. I'm going to try that. When my stress level is lower, it is so much easier to not eat emotionally. I've got to find a way to reduce the pressure before the dam bursts.

Good for you, Ufi. Those people who had a harder time will get over it--trust me. Or they won't, but the important thing is that you've given yourself some breathing room. It really is a LOT easier to curb emotional eating when the stress-o-meter is lower. :stress:

Hang in there! :cheer3:
Jay