Okay, first of all, Gorgeous Poster, 145 IS NOT FAT!!!

145 is a great weight. Tell those idiots to shut the **** up. Obviously that guy is just jealous because he's not the one with you. Look at your picture, you are beautiful! You look exotic, your picture is striking, it was the first thing I noticed.

Seriously, who cares what some random idiot says? Some people feel safe behind their computer screens, they feel safe to pick on others. They don't consider that there is a person behind the words on the screen. They forget this and they think they're safe to hurt others. It's not cool. Idiots like that rarely have lives and they themselves probably look like ****.

You guys are awesome! I just read through the rest and I'm resisting checking the thread as curious as I am.. I know it won't do any good and that it won't matter tomorrow nor in the grand scheme of things what this one rude person said, so I can't let it. I've decided I'm just going to leave that forum altogether... I post there on and off anyway, and classes are starting up so I won't care about that forum anyway haha this is the forum I really care about anyway.. so I'm cutting ties with it haha

Lol Fat Melanie, you really made me LOL b/c it really is true that he probably has nothing going for him.. Thanks! Yes, I'll bet in real life he wouldn't do something like that, but that's the internet for you... He's the bully, so it's really him there's something wrong with not me, so that's what I have to keep remembering every time I recall something that was said. I'm going to sleep now, thanks for everyone's comments! I think I'll keep this thread's content up though to remind myself that some people are just.. jerks and I gotta keep my chin up.

Thx for all the compliments, you guys are all so sweet!

Your picture is BEAUTIFUL. The web is a great place to get support, but there are a LOT of jerks out there, and this guy sounds like a miserable troll who is just trying to upset you for whatever reason.

My advice is to rise above. Don't defend yourself or otherwise engage with somebody who's whole agenda is trying to be hurtful. Just know that he's NOT a happy person.

1. The guy is a troll, and every reaction you make will just feed him, there is nothing you can say that will devastate him, so just don't. (I agree the moderators should take steps against bullying and delete/lock the thread.)

2. It's a worry that someone you don't know's remarks are so devastating to you. You're 15lbs away from goal! Wow, that's not enough to call 'overweight' (not that we should be criticized for whatever weight we are). I'm not criticizing you either, I'm exactly the same - love any praise but one nasty remark will destroy a bucketful of praise. We need to practise our self-esteem!

[About 15 years ago, I'd gone back to college for 2 years. In the summer between the 2, I'd lost some weight, a stone or so, and was seriously on track. A few weeks in, one of the guys offered to do me a back massage. He was gay as a daisy, there was nothing else involved but I couldn't relax with everyone up and down the corridor outside his room, in case someone came in. Noticing my edginess, and wishing to be kind, he said: "Don't worry, it's OK, I'm overweight too" - end of massage, end of diet, end of self-esteem for a while. ]

They're not even worth you're time. Half the time, those people making fun are the ones with the same problem or something worse. Pssssh, you're a beautiful woman and it doesn't even matter your size when you're working on it. And you seem incredibly reasonable and kind, too. I just consider 99% of people not worth the time... People that do that are pathetic

Tell me the name of the site and I will happily go and tear him a new one. No one disses one of my girls!!

*hugs* don't let the b*stards get you down.

Oh and by the way....WOW you are so gorgeous! Your BF is crazy lucky and I'm sure that his feelings along those line led him to post pictures of you.

*huggles*

~Sidheag

aww you guys are so sweet!~ It bothered me briefly in the morning again..
but Alidh.. you make a good point of how much our self-esteem can be hurt by random strangers online.
meh.. the moderator hasn't been online so that thread is still up.. he used an old pic from prom (I was about.. 10 pounds more) and used that in the thread.. so I want it removed, it's awkward and weird.
It's alright, I've been feeling so great, and I had a dream last night where I saw the guy in person (although idk how he looks) I told him to eff off and he was very meek haha.. so I think that got rid of some of my frustrations.
I WOULD post the thread up, but I don't feel like posting it up here.. it's just so negative. I'll PM it to you if you want
So, Ailidh.. wat did you say? how did you respond?

Sometimes people are just (well sheesh, I can't even think of a bad enough word)

You said that picture is a year old? Not that a jerk weed like that would get it, but you could post one of those new pictures of you with that hot new haircut, tell him "here's a better picture. Sorry you'll never get the chance to get to know me but I don't associate with (insert favorite slam)". Then sign off.

You're so pretty! This guy on that other site is probably upset bc he could never, EVER attract as pretty a girl as you, so he has to bash you and hurt you to feel better about how pathetic and stupid he really is.

Anyone who is a cyberspace bully is probably so totally inept and WEAK in real life that the only way they can feel strong is to pick on people behind the convenient cover of the internet.

As to whether or not to defend yourself... i dunno... getting into a flame war with this loser piece of crappola is probably pointless, but on the other hand he shouldn't be allowed to run you off that site either. He doesn't own it; he's a useless nobody! Personally, I would stay on the site, and post frequently, just out of spite lol.

If i were you, i think i probably feel pretty sad too. That's natural i guess.
But i'll leave only 1 comment for him like this:

"I can see you have zero knowledge about healthy and beauty. So i think you better educate yourself before you deserve to hear my discussion about my weight with you".

And proudly leave that behind. You're gorgerous and healthy. Ignore that F*****.

*edit*
you shouldn't leave that site if there you have friends understand u. Otherwise, i guess leave it. Maybe coming back once in a long while only. (well, that's what i always do so.. )

Tell him to put his face where his mouth is. He's too gutless to post a picture because he is either a 14year old spotty troll or not brave enough to put himself out there to be judged.

You, my sweetie, are gorgeous as all these other lovely people have already said.

I hope the moderator gets online and straightens the mess out, I can imagine I'd feel very uncomfortable if someone used my picture to bash me with.



Lou

I think it was the responses of other people that really made me upset.. it's shocking actually, even online, people seem to.. go along with the crowd/whoever is in power, even knowing how wrong it is.. Like I said, if it was something blatantly racist or sexist, people would jump at him.. Idk.
Lol, yeah I was thinking about posting in other threads out of spite but I think he'll just harass me again or bump the thread into focus.. and I don't feel like getting worked up again. I'll probably go on there on occasion but even then..
I think I'll leave the site since I don't really talk to anyone on there outside of the forum... but once I hit goal you can bet I'll be posting up new pictures..!
Yes I really hope the moderator fixes this.. although he is rarely online, ugh.

How were the others reacting, if I may ask? Were any women on there agreeing with him?

I'm just curious bc there was another thread recently about weight loss/body image and feminism and a few people raised the issue of women actually being tougher/crueler to other women ab weight issues than men are (oftentimes), which of course perpetuates the whole body image problem, since women buy into it/support it rather than fighting against it.

I personally find it really gross and distasteful whenever a man "attacks" a woman -- physically, of course, but also with words. maybe it's just some old-fashioned ideas that I somewhat subscribe to, but to me, there's something really tasteless and crude about a man who goes out of his way to demean a woman, even if it's just someone he knows over the internet, even if it's someone he doesn't like or whatever. And I hope there weren't women on this site supporting that kind of treatment of another woman.

Well.. this is what happened. In another thread, I responded to a question asking if a person would rather money or good sex.. (this question is actually a common question that comments more on what the person values in life rather than anything pervasive) so I said good sex and he responded with a picture of a hippo saying who would want me? So I laugh it off at him and tell him I have a boyfriend so obviously he's wrong with that. Then he tried bashing me through that thread but I ignored and posted in other ones.. THEN he made a thread about how fat and gay people shouldn't talk about their sex lives and he referred to me as a nympho!
Actually, I'll just PM you the thread, it's ridiculous.. because a few people were telling him to shut up but I was shocked at girls saying "big girls need loving" or "leave the fatties alone" - it's so demeaning to refer to someone like that, as if I'm less than human..
To me, it felt like these people posting things like that were even more pathetic b/c it feels like they want acceptance from this guy!

My favorite comment came from my sister when I was in like 8th grade -- some kid was picking on me on the bus for being overweight -- she's was always my savior -- she told him "At least she can lose weight, you'll always be ugly!!" -- kind of childish, but always makes me laugh a little bit

There is nothing you can do about the idiots out there or worse, the droids that follow them, the best revenge is living well!!