Gave up the chance at something I want because I'm fat/depressed.
I quit my job to move to a different state. I had plans to move immediately to this new state but they fell through. So I am stuck without a job in Florida. I applied to a few different places in the new state. Most either said we’ll hire you in a few months or call us when you move up here. One set up an interview. I arrived last night.
I don’t have much to wear so I went shopping this morning (mall here is way better then home.) It went better than I thought. I didn’t feel excited about my outfit but I felt comfortable (lets face it being this fat that’s all you hope for) I realized I didn’t get shoes but I have some that would be ok.
I shower, and get ready. I hate what I see in the mirror. Worse…I work in the beauty industry. I take one more look at myself before I leave and I think….Would I hire myself? A big FAT no. No matter how well I do on the interview I would never put myself in front of guest. I didn’t realize I have gotten this bad physically.
So....Right now I am supposed to be at this job interview. Guess what? I’m not! I couldn’t face the embarrassment of going.
Now I am even more depressed. I don’t have enough money to try this again so I have to come up with something else.
Ohhhh….and to top all this off….what do I feel like doing???? EATING! Ahhhh!
We are so much harder on ourselves and more judgemental than anyone else sometimes. I'm sorry you're at such a low point. But you've come to the right place. You are not alone. Just remember that.
I wish that you had gone. Ever heard of big and beautiful? A no-show to the interview is very bad, so now you lost this chance (and in this economy, chances are rare). Your own self hatred cost you more than any amount of weight ever could. The only thing that matters to anyone that matters is the beauty that shines from within.
BTW, have you noticed that most Americans are fat now? Fat Americans could use a role model, or two, or twenty...
Don't beat yourself up too bad for missing it. It sucks, but another will come along. I felt like you did before I started dieting. I stopped seeing my friends, was afraid to approach new people, and that is totally unlike me. You are beautiful and talented no matter what size. I feel a lot better now that I actually stuck to a diet and didn't fail. My body is stronger and I am healthier, and I feel a lot better about myself. Sounds like you have reached your breaking point. Mine was when a friend told me, "You used to be so tiny in high school." You need a huge hug. I think you should call up your best friend and go to a movie or something.
Thank you guys for replying so fast and so supportively! (is that a word?? lol) I talked to the guy and we rescheduled. Which makes me wonder why they are so desperate!! lol
Thank you guys for replying so fast and so supportively! (is that a word?? lol) I talked to the guy and we rescheduled. Which makes me wonder why they are so desperate!! lol
I bet they aren't desparate, I bet you have a killer resume! Hard to believe with all the bad press these days but there really are places that understand that a bigger person with great skills is more apt to generate revenue than a teeny person with no skills. BTW for getting past your fear enough to call him and reschedule! I know you're gonna wow 'em
OMG weird you posted this. Just yesterday morning, we had customers visit and they were all young, thin, well-dressed women. I felt soooooo in-adequit. So much so I didn't even look at them! I just continued working, figure they probably think I'm dedicated.... But I never feel adequite. Ever. Its not just about my weight either. I just can't seem to find any decent clothes that look good on me. I just need to dedicate some time and go shopping and maybe have someone go with me to help, besides my dh that is. Maybe take my mil out, she could use a day out.
I dunno I just felt so not so good yesterday. But I know that its not just about having the right clothes, it does help, certainly, but its in your attitude as well and my coworker pointed out that I have a very good personality (I think that is a keyword for ugly lol) but most people who do get to know me really like me. Its just some won't even give me the time of day when they see me and those people I know aren't even worth the time to think about it. Infact, I am getting a new person to work with me, well my coworker, who works days, wants to work with me, so she asked the new person to switch with her, but she doesn't want too. So now I am gonna be stuck with a new person and I don't wanna be. I trained the other night lady's (who works when I am off) new coworker the other morning for a few hours and I felt just so awful because she was pretty and well dressed and I felt frumpy and disgusting. I know I shouldn't think that because that is what I will project to others, but I can't seem to help it..............
Anyways, kudos to you for rescheduling your interview and I am sure you will be awesome!
I wish you had gone to the interview, especially if you invested into a new outfit. I am sure you looked just fine - to anybody else but yourself. I do understand completely your feelings though but you never know - what if the company was one of the better ones which does not automatically associate being overweight with being less efficient, less productive, etc.
There was a time, either this past winter or last fall, when I was orgazining the closet (i.e. moving the few items that I still could wear to the front) and I tried on an old suit that I would have to wear if I was going to an interview. Or so I thought, that I would had to wear that suit because fortunately, I wear for a company (been there 12 years) where the dress code is extremely relaxed and we mostly wear jeans all year round. Anyway, I did put the suit on and I realized that there were a few inches of fat at my waist that prevented the pants from zipping up and the jacket did not fare much better.
That did not make me feel too good about myself. I hope my job is fairly stable although at these times, one never knows and anything may happen (knocking on the proverbial wood here) and there is nothing worse than having to hit the mall to scrounge up some interview outfit. (It seems to me that you never find anything suitable if you really need to buy it right now).
But fortunately, couple of months later I decided enough was enough and I started my weight loss journey. And do you know what? I am not able to wear that suit anyway - because it's now it's too big, so I will probably take it to a local Value Village or something. That still leaves without an interview suit should I need one but hopefully shopping would be easier due to my somewhat slimmer body.
I am glad you are here because that means that you are going to start doing something about weight, right? I know it's hard - we have all been through it, and many of us not only once but multiple times. Best wishes in your job search and hopefully the next time you are posting, you will complain how sore you are from a workout. :-)
I realized only now that your interview got rescheduled. That's great!
Why do you think about them as being desperate? Obviously, you are good at what you are doing and your resume proves it. They are really interested in you!!! Knock them dead!!!!
I just thought of something to add to my previous post about the negative self talk. You know that Voice in your head that tells you what other people are thinking, that makes up reasons for you to feel bad about yourself? I have a Voice just like it and have started a thread in the Depression support group about it.
I'm doing a lot of work on myself this year and one of the things I'm practicing is talking back to the Voice. I'm standing up for myself against my own negativity. The book I'm reading, called Coping Through: Self Esteem, recommends first identifying all the mean things the Voice keeps telling you, then brainstorming some responses. It recommends using those responses (out loud if you can) whenever the Voice starts putting you down. This requires staying pretty alert. (I've noticed that several minutes can pass before I realise that what I'm thinking is coming from the Voice).
For example, if your Voice were telling you: "They must be pretty desperate if they're willing to reschedule after you stood them up." You can respond with, "You can't read minds. They might have just been blown away by my qualifications! Leave me alone!"
I still need practice, but so far it seems to be helping me.
good luck!!
Tera
Last edited by twilit tera; 08-24-2008 at 09:54 AM.
I know this sounds silly, but just think. "OPRAH" For most of Oprah's successful career she has been heavy. I think her face is beautiful. She always has a beautiful face and her hair is always done nicely. I am 47 so I remember Elizabeth Taylor when she had a heavy couple of years. She always looked beautiful and she dressed accordingly. Again, Anna Nicole Smith, although she DID NOTdress to hide her flaws, her face was always beautiful. I read a magazine article and it said, go get an updated stylish hair cut, visit a good store that will help you dress appropriately, and knock them dead !!!! A smile will take you a long way !!!
GO GET EM !!!!
Suzy
I know lots of big, competent women. I'm one of them! Some women are so busy taking care of things around them that they don't spend enough time taking care of themselves.
It sounds to me that, at this point, it's a triumph simply to make it through an interview, even if you don't get the job. You're facing a fear, and facing a fear is something to celebrate, isn't it? So, feel good about yourself in that interview simply for having the courage to be sitting there, talking to that person, when it's something that scares you.
I'm glad you rescheduled your interview. Don't let your size dictate who you are. Here is a word picture of a woman I know. She always has her hair done in the newest styles, she dresses really chic, she flirts with the men (she's divorced), has a fabulous personality and is really pretty. She leads out in TOPS, volunteers at the local nursing home and holds a full time job. She's short, fat and in her 50s. But I never think of her that way. She just oozes confidence. Now that's what you have to do. You're in the beauty industry so you know how to look really good. Put your best food forward, pull up your boobs and put your shoulders out and get the job. You know you wouldn't even get the interview if they didn't think you wouldn't be suitable. You go girl....
Last edited by retiredone; 08-24-2008 at 03:37 PM.
Gave up the chance at something I want because I'm fat/depressed.
So I am stuck without a job in Florida. I applied to a few different places in the new state. Most either said we’ll hire you in a few months or call us when you move up here. One set up an interview. I arrived last night.
Which makes me wonder why they are so desperate!! lol
for getting past your fear enough to call him and reschedule! I know you're gonna wow 'em 
But I never feel adequite. Ever. Its not just about my weight either. I just can't seem to find any decent clothes that look good on me. I just need to dedicate some time and go shopping and maybe have someone go with me to help, besides my dh that is. Maybe take my mil out, she could use a day out. 
(she's divorced), has a fabulous personality and is really pretty. She leads out in TOPS, volunteers at the local nursing home and holds a full time job. She's short, fat and in her 50s. But I never think of her that way. She just oozes confidence. Now that's what you have to do. You're in the beauty industry so you know how to look really good. Put your best food forward, pull up your boobs and put your shoulders out and get the job. You know you wouldn't even get the interview if they didn't think you wouldn't be suitable. You go girl....
