Hey there! Welcome to 3FC. As I read through your post, I noticed a few things and so I'll respond to them directly first and then I'll add more further thoughts.
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I'm not constantly sitting about all day, and hauling all of this weight, it seems that I should be burning something.
The thing is that our bodies are actually pretty efficient machines. Your body gets used to your daily activities at your current weight and learns to work with the least amount of expended energy on a daily basis. Meaning that although you might be moving around a bit, your body adapts and you won't burn lots of calories.
Also to really burn calories, you have to get your heart rate up. On a daily basis we really don't burn all that many calories. Even strenuous exercise burns fewer than you think. For example, I can spend 30 mins on the elliptical machine at a very steady pace, breaking a hard sweat, and only burn around 300-350 calories (I"m 5'4" and 165#).
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I had a pretty active day yesterday, ate somewhat normally, although restricted a bit. Woke up today 5 lbs. heavier.
It's practically impossible to gain 5# of fat overnight. You'd have to have consumed nearly 17,000 calories to do so. It's more likely that you ate salty/high sodium foods and are retaining water.
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Is it my age?
To a degree, it might be. You're 29 and as you approach your 30s and into your 40s, your metabolism shifts. It is much harder for me to lose weight now at 40 than it was at 25.
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I can't afford to deprive myself so much that I feel faint during the day,
There is this mindset that you aren't really making an effort to lose weight unless you're miserable and near death from starving yourself. That's hogwash. You have to make this a lifestyle change or you're just going to fail again and again and again as you push yourself to the very edge of starvation and pain and give up because you simply can't tolerate it any more.
I don't deprive myself to the point of starvation. I don't make myself feel guilty over what I eat. I count calories, allow myself 1500 cals a day, and eat what I want within that range. Today, for example, I went to lunch with a friend and had frozen yogurt and 2 cookies. Because I'm aware of it, I ate a smaller dinner and had a fruit and protein smoothie for dessert, instead of my usual frozen yogurt.
My average day includes 3 meals, and 2 or 3 snacks - and it seriously is whatever food I want as long as it fits into my calorie range.
Ok. Now my further thoughts.
1 - You need to KNOW what you're eating before you can change it. I would suggest that you start off by keeping a food diary. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. You can use an online site like dailyplate.com or fitday.com or soemthing like that or you can just write things down on a piece of paper or a notebook. But do this for a week. Write down EVERYTHING. If you eat the crusts off your kids sandwiches, write it down. If you drink a Coke, write it down. If you lick the spoon while you're cooking dinner, write it down. I think you'll be surprised as how much food you can consume during the day. When I did this, I found out that I was consuming over 1000 calories "extra" just by nibbling mindlessly. A handful of sunflower seeds, 2 cookies from the breakroom, an afternoon Coke, snagging the crust from my husband's pizza.
Once you've done that for a week, you'll have a really good idea of where a lot of your extra calories are coming from. You can also see where you might be eating a lot of processed foods that will have high sodium content that will contribute to you retaining water.
2 - While on the surface, it's calories in vs. calories out, there are all kinds of other things that come into play. Our bodies are al different. Some people need more or less carbs. Some people do better eating more protein. I know that I personally can't eat carbs at dinner time or my weight loss tends to stall ... but some people can do just fine with them. You might have to experiment and take a few weeks to learn about how your body reacts.
3 - EXERCISE. Yes, you must exercise. It's possible to lose weight w/out doing it, but then you're just "skinny fat" (i.e. skinny but out of shape). Also the more you exercise, the more you can eat ... if you don't build exercise into your plan, you'll have to restrict your calories more and more, in order to lose the weight you want to lose.
Exercise doesn't have to be painful or miserable or done at an intensity to make you puke or pass out, but it does need to raise your heart rate for at least 30 mins. You can chase your kids around all day, but if it doesn't get your heart rate going, then it's not doing you any good.
Also, I strongly recommend adding in weight lifting and body resistance training from the start. Building muscle means you increase your metabolism, and increased metabolism means more weight loss. Weight lifting doesn't have to be this big power-lifter gym thing. In fact I found that lifting weights was easier for me than getting cardio when I first started out and was really heavy. Start off with some 10# weights from Target or Walmart. Even if you can only do 1 curl or one arm raise, do that. And keep on. These are things that you can do (at first) while watching TV or while sitting watching the kids.
Look into DVDs of things that incorporate something fun that will keep you motivated. Some people love dance, some people love the idea of kickboxing or TaeBo, some people like yoga or Pilates. Anything that will encourage you to keep trying. And the nice thing about DVDs is that you can do them in the privacy of your own home and you can stop and start as many times as you want until you learn the routines.
However, all that said, I'm a big believer in joining a gym - it gives you motivation and gives you access to a ton of equipment and things that you simply can't have at home (unless you're willing to spend thousands of dollars on your own home gym). And, if you possibly can afford it, look into a few sessoins with a trainer. That will help A LOT with your fears of injuring yourself - a good trainer will help you work out a routine that fits your ability level, as well as will be able to teach you the proper techniques so that you won't hurt yourself doing the various exercises
Ok, I know this has become a huge novel, but I Hope it helps you out and helps you to get started!
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