I so understand where you are at. I gained about 40 pounds in a year and got up to a size 18, but I still just refused to look at myself and really see how much weight I'd gained. I didn't weigh myself ever, and I refused to be in pictures. My fiance and I talked about starting on WW at home, but put it off for months. We finally decided to start in April 2007, and the first time I weighed myself I was absolutely shocked - I was 187 pounds - that was way too close to 200 pounds for any kind of comfort. I really didn't realize how large I'd gotten (187 is a lot on a 4'11 girl) and I guess when I was buying larger and larger pant sizes I was in complete denial. I am now 53 pounds lighter, and down to a size 4/6 in pants. I can tell you that I NEVER thought I would be able to wear a size 4/6 - I have not been a single digit pant size since well I cant remember - i've always been a size 10-14 since high school.

So, I guess my point is, denial is a crazy thing and so many of us have been there. The best thing is that once you come out of denial and realize where you are, and then you start doing something about, it can only get better from here. Keep up the healthy lifestyle and you will be amazed and where you can go.