When I saw my Mom the last time before she died. She looked nothing like herself, so ravaged by diabetes and heart disease. On the way home I realized that I was having symptoms of both of these diseases twenty years earlier than she did. It hit me how crazy it is to treat my body this way. Years of not caring what I ate and no exercise were making me very sick. I got on the scale today and I'm down 51 pounds and I feel so much better! Can't wait to see a one-something on the scale.

Watched my grandma gain weight until she could no longer walk.

Watched my dad binge and starve, binge and starve, binge and starve.

Realized I actually ENVIED my drug addict sister for being so thin.

Just want to live a long, healthy life.

I've been up and down the scale my entire life (with all the downs done in horribly unhealthy ways) but on this last trip up I was in total denial - I didn't own a scale and I rationalized that a size 12 was only "a little" bigger than a 10, then a 14 was only "a little" bigger than the 12. Then it was the usual "they shrunk in the dryer" and then it was clothing manufacturers not being consistant, until I was bursting out of 16s and switched to men's jeans so I wouldn't have to admit being in an 18. Then when even the men's jeans were getting too tight I was still (this part does not speak well of me as a person - feels a little like making an admission in an AA meeting :o ) looking at a coworker and saying "at least I don't look as bad as she does". Even being threatened by a doctor with a whole laundry list of meds didn't really make it sink in what I was doing to myself. Then, after last year's company Christmas party, I was looking at the pictures and thought "oh, there's so-and-so". Wrong! so-and-so hadn't been at the party! I was looking at me and had mistaken myself for the person I thought I looked so much better than! For the first time in my life I understood the feeling they try to convey in the movies where the entire room seems to be moving away from the person.

The next day I went on line and ordered a piece of exercise equipment with a dvd program to follow and the day it arrived I bought a scale. I went out and found a new doctor that was more interested in proper nutrition than writing perscriptions and he got me started in the right direction. Around that same time I stumbled across 3FC which must have been fate :D because the advice and support I've found here have made it almost impossible for me to look anywhere but forward. :carrot:

I got up to 180 once and lost 40 lbs.
I got up to 190, then lost 53 lbs.
I told myself that at least i never hit 200s, i would NEVER let myself go to the 200s.


I got up last sunday morning and weighed my self.
It was 200 lbs right on the button, then I changed everything around, and this time I'm gonna lose it and keep it off!

My big thing was this past Christmas. My son, 3 at the time had picked out a hoodie for me. He was so proud! A black Hello Kitty hoodie with skulls on it, he loves 'scawee' things and he couldn't wait for me to try it on. It didn't fit, I couldn't pull it up over my arms, heck my elbows - and it was an XL. It was crushing to disappoint my son. I never want to disappoint him again, and knew it would be the first of a string of disappointments unless I started right away. Also, my husband gave me a few cashmere sweaters, didn't fit.

I was mortified.

I resolved to start on January 1st, and here I am almost 6 months later still keeping to my resolution. It's the first resolution I've stuck with this long.

I will be wearing that hoodie this fall. Next fall it will be too big, but if my boy wants me to wear it I will. The cashmere sweaters are now too big :)

I'm just starting because I realized that I wouldn't go to my 20th reunion this summer because I've packed on so many pounds. Now I need to use the pain I feel when I see photos of myself and turn it into a will to lose-the-weight. I've exercised all week so I'm off to a good start! :)

My size 18s got tight, and as an apple I was sure I would be unable to find size 20s that fit - if they fit my waist I've have yards of baggy fabric. And they'd all be pull up stretch waistbands. I wasn't going to be able to find any clothes I'd care to wear.

And I suddenly realized I was seven pounds away from being 100 pounds over the weight I was in my late teens and twenties.

I'm definitely seeing a lot of stuff I have faced in your replies! The breathless up hill walks, the looking bad in pictures, the denial about changing sizes, the not fitting on an amusement park ride. I've been through all of that, but somehow it never made me change my ways. It's odd the things we sometimes manage to rationalize.

Hugs all around, I'm so glad to have found this board and all of you! :hug:

Not having the energy or stamina to do ANYthing... I went for a walk one day after not walking for about a year more than in the house, and i couldnt do it.. i walked about 5 yards and had to stop and rest.. it p£$%ssed me off to no end... how had i let myself get to this point? i am 43 years old and was /am living in a 150 year old body ( at least it feels that way)... but one thing i have noticed.. in the last week and a half with making myself MOVE, i feel loads better, have more energy, have lost 10lbs, and it has all deepened my resolve to keep on truckin lol... if i feel this good after a week and still being huge, what will i feel like after a year and being 100 or so lbs lighter??? I am soo looking forward to that:)

I was blissfully happy with my second husband, whom I had been married to for three and a half years. I looked across at him while were driving to do the grocery shopping and I figured that if I wanted to be alive long enough to grow old together I had better do something about my weight. Our grocery shopping that day was VERY different to grocery shopping excursions in the past.

I was similar to Glory in that I didn't decide to start 'tomorrow' or 'next week', but I started that minute and I never, once, thought that I wouldn't lose the weight I needed to. I am also like others in that I didn't go on a 'diet'. I changed my lifestyle - FOR LIFE!!!! That way, I am never going to 'stop the diet'. I just keep living my new, healthier lifestyle. It has made it SO much easier.

Last January, my New Year's resolution was to lose weight, as it was every year. For some reason, though, I didn't actually start until the third week of that month, after a visit from a friend who informed me I wasn't too old to join the RCMP (she's an instructor there). I used to see the police driving around and thought, "I'd like to do that, if only I was in shape". During that visit, I had the same thought, but added to myself, "then get in shape". That has been my goal since, and a year and a half later, I have nearly 100 pounds gone, am gaining muscle by lifting weights and have started jogging (both recommended by the friend). I am hoping to be able to finally try out within a year, and if I don't make it, well, Canada has other police forces, or I can be a court sheriff. I'm following the "Couch to 5K" program, and when I'm jogging along, I picture myself in the Red Serge uniform, and that's what keeps me from giving up.

The police goal may be the straw that broke the camel's back, but several other factors caused it to strain...everyday functions were getting difficult, such as getting dressed, and even walking a few yards from the living room to my bedroom. Bending down and tying my shoe. Finding clothes that fit. Food, for me as it is for so many others, was a "comfort". My attitude was, I quit smoking, I rarely drink, I don't do drugs, I don't have a relationship with a significant other, at least eating gave me pleasure. It hit me that I didn't want food to be my only pleasure. Life is so much better now, I have more energy, I can play sports (which I always liked but felt too self-conscious to partake in), men are paying a lot more attention to me. I look in the mirror and increasingly like what I see.

Every year, in January, I made the resolution to lose weight. Every December, I used to think, "if only I'd stuck with my resolution, look how much weight I'd have gone". I'm glad I didn't have that thought this past December.

I didn't plan to make my post a novel, but typing this has been cathartic and reminded me why I'm in this new way of living. :)

1) When I weighed in at 215lbs, a 35lb gain since high school.

2) Looking in the mirror, I realized that I'm no longer muscular with a little fat. I'm fat with a little muscle.

3) Picking up that size 14 jean at GAP and being worried that size 16 wasn't that far away. Furthermore the size 16 jeans at GAP are few and far between.

4) Realizing that one day I want to have a child and adding 30-50lbs to the 215lbs I already had didn't seem ideal.

I must say that it was a series of events...

I was tired of wearing the same five outfits in rotation and having an entire closet full of clothes that didn't fit. I also didn't like when size 14's, 13's, and 15's were starting to fit snugly. I was a plus sized woman and there was no way around it.

I stepped on several scales at several different supermarkets (I avoided them for so long because I just didn't want to KNOW how much I weighed!) and they all told me between 175-180. "Oh crap," I thought, "I weigh as much as MY DAD! :(" I realized I was NOT "average" - I was 20 pounds overweight and if I gained 10-15 more pounds, I'd be obese. I didn't want to be obese.

I started working a new job around ten miles away from my house and decided it would be a neat idea to ride my bike there. Then, I realized I needed to cut my calories and make some major dietary adjustments... and lo and behold, I found this forum :D The rest is well-documented history. :)

I hated having my picture taken because even face shots were fat. I didn't want to be "the fat mom" and have my girls embarressed by me. I was tired of outgrowing my clothes and getting bigger ones. I had a hard time fitting in some of the rides at Six Flags. I hadn't worn a skirt or dress in a couple years. Then in january, while eating my healthy choice, i saw an older lady outside walking around the parking lot on her lunch break and thought, "i can do that". And so i did. I walked 2 miles everyday and ate my healthy choice lunches and started counting calories. Then i found this website and have lost 60 pounds to date. Now...if i can get my butt back in gear and lose the rest of the weight i wanted to lose....that would be awesome.

I saw myself in some wedding photos wearing a "lovely" pepto bismol pink bridesmaid dress. I can't enjoy playing with my kids. I feel horrible all of the time. I don't want to do anything social because people may stare at me and snicker. I went shopping the other day (the first in years). I saw all of the cute smaller clothes, and thought, I would love to walk into any store that I want and buy whatever I wanted because I knew it would fit.