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Kids summer vacation...binge fear

#1

luckymommy , 06-13-2008 05:35 PM

Hi,

My kids had their last day of school yesterday and today, I'm already over-eating . I'm still within my calorie range, but I'm scared that I won't be for long. I thought that if I post, it'll keep me in line and OP.

The kids fight a lot. A lot. I'm frustrated because all day long, I feel like a drill seargent, barking out orders. I'm a loving, nice person who people come to for advice, but I can't seem to help myself. It's really hard to relate to this because when I was a kid, I always listened to my parents. I was a very easy, agreeable child who wanted to stay away from any trouble. A goody-good. My boys fight so much that I feel useless. They get consequences, they get rewards and punishments based on their behaviors. Nothing helps.

I so badly want to lose my weight. This moning, I saw a 7 after the 1 in my weight and that was super exciting. I really don't want it to go back up to an 8!!!

So, am I the only one out there who feels this way today? Just wondering.

Thanks so much for listening.

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#2

Mrs Snark , 06-13-2008 05:39 PM

Alot of us know that "hanging on by my fingernails for dear life" feeling that comes with trying to lose weight and stay on plan while all of life seems to conspire to stress us to death. Particularly those of us who binge eat.

Hang in there. You may need to remind yourself (often, sometimes every minute) that food won't solve any of the problems you are experiencing, and will in fact contribute to them by making you feel worse in general.

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#3

bethbeth , 06-13-2008 05:41 PM

When you get stressed and then overeat how do you feel? Does eating make you feel better afterwards or worse?

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#4

Hat Trick , 06-13-2008 09:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by luckymommy
The kids fight a lot. A lot. I'm frustrated because all day long, I feel like a drill seargent, barking out orders.
Hey, I think your kids and my kids are long lost siblings!! My kids fight TONS, especially my 11 yr old with . . . well, anyone who is blood related. I have found a few things that work w/her. Soap in the mouth when she 'gets her attitude on' works really, really well. Grounding her completely and totally off the computer or tv or game cube (or all three) works. Oh, she mouths off saying she doesn't care, which only extends the grounding by another day. After a solid week of no electronic stuff she's usually more compliant. There is no tv, computer, game-system, phone in any of my kids room's. Why, if there were they'd LOVE to be sent to their room! No dessert can also work if your kids are into that. I bake homemade sweets so that isn't something they like to lose. We also belong to a local pool; I just changed tomorrow's plans because my son just had a temper tantrum about the computer. No pool tomorrow, cleaning the basement instead. Yelling used to be all I did and it got me nowhere. But a very low-toned, even voice while looking them directly in the eye does. I try to keep it brief and not engage in their bantering (I'm not always successful but I try and most of the time I win). I turn and walk away and ignore the jabbering that they continue to fling upon me. I've found that the less I yell the less I crave to eat the junk I shouldn't be eating. The more I yell the more I think 'm&ms'. The past few summers have generally been better than when the kids where littler. I don't know how old your kids are (mine are 17, 15 and 11) but as they grow and mature so does the way they interact w/everyone. When they were younger I just wanted to run away screaming.

I also make it a point to put myself first b/4 'doing for them'. I tell them all the time if they want respect and independence and such then they must show the same to us. I figure sooner or later they'll get the idea -- or be old enough to live on their own! Sometimes I think they are waaay too easily bored. I don't ever remember being bored as a kid but maybe that's just selective memory. I do stuff w/them but let them know that I am NOT their entertainment committee. Do your kids ever say they hate you? Mine have. My reply is simply 'that's ok, I'm not here to be liked'. Boy that annoys them! I do know that kids learn from what you say but they really learn from watching what you do. If you do what you've always done you'll get the same results. Change how you handle their fighting. If you always interact, try doing nothing. If you always yell, try not yelling. If you always dole out the same punishments, try something completley different. Scrubbing a dirty bathroom, poopy-scooping the yard, dusting and vaccuuming the entire house, scrubbing the kitchen floor (hands and knees), giving away their 'things' instead of grounding them off of it or taking it away for xx time.

It's so hard w/kids sometimes. Know that you are by no means alone w/kids that fight and bicker and back-talk. But put yourself, your eating plan, your exercise FIRST and let them know that nothing they do will deter you from your plans. Try letting go of their fighting so YOU can stay on plan. Good luck and keep posting. It really does help to hear from others who have BTDT.

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#5

sh3l5 , 06-14-2008 03:45 AM

summer holidays are an ideal to get ur kids active with yourself....
do something outdoors every day....
go for bike rides....
and walks....

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#6

Applez , 06-14-2008 09:14 AM

Hat Trick~ Thanks for the tips! Mine do not fight a lot but it usually is not wanting to go to bed on time, sleep on the floor in my room, will not share toys with the 3yo, things like that. And I am so tired of yelling. I HATE to yell but sometimes I think that is the only way they will listen. I did find a cute award system online and have been using it. Seems to work! They hate to lose points cause that makes them further from getting the prize they picked out and lost points means they are further away from getting "cat clothes" which they love and they love to chat in HandiLand,play games with the other "cats". I have had lots of people join and they love it also! You can give "good points" for like cleaning your room, helping mom, doing homework, improving a grade etc or Demerits for not listening, staying up to late, being rude to sister/brother etc. If you want the link let me know

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#7

KLK , 06-14-2008 09:21 AM

I don't have children, but I tend to overeat around my fiance and my mother. My fiance doesn't encourage me to over eat, but I feel very relaxed and I let my dieting guard down. My mother actively encourages me to eat and to eat the wrong things, to skip working out, etc. Sometimes I feel like the universe is conspiring to knock me off track.

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#8

aphil , 06-14-2008 09:22 AM

I have found that when my kids resort to fighting, it is because they are bored. If I get out fingerpaint, Play-Doh, water guns in the back yard, or some activity that isn't an "every day" thing...there is no fighting.

Of course, this is going to be different for different age groups-but you want to have an activity each day that keeps them occupied-that is something "different" for them to do.

It really helps...

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