Okay, so I have only 20 lbs. or so to lose but I'm not having any luck. I lost almost 4 pounds while dieting for one week and then gained them back plus 2#. It seems like such an easy and achieveable goal but at the same time I'm having the worst time losing the weight.

I'll think each morning "Ok, this is going to be the first successful day of my diet." And then I have a bad day and give up, or something great happens and I take 'a day off.' The worst part is the tiniest slip-up and I lose all will to eat correctly the rest of the day. I know this is an "all or nothing" attitude, but I can't seem to stop myself from thinking this way.

It doesn't help that my mom and boyfriend are telling me not to diet and pushing junkfood on me. I don't like the way I look and I know I need to lose the pounds.

don't worry about what they say. do this for yourself! if you're not happy with your looks, then go for it. i know it's hard when you don't have support from the people closest to you. but being healthy and feeling good about yourself is important. maybe if you stick with it and start losing, they will be able to see how much more confidant you are and they will be more encouraging.

we all have times when it seems impossible. but don't give up! you may have gained a couple of lbs in water weight or something. there are lots of reasons for weight fluctuation. are you calorie counting or on a certain plan? for me, i have to have a strict plan to follow but everyone's different.

Stop. Breathe. You CAN do this.

First, the all-or-nothingness...honestly, you're going to have to stop this somehow if you're going to succeed. That's because none of us...not a one...can go forever without going off plan. Period. I don't care who you talk to, everyone will eventually venture off the planned path at some point.

BUT...the people who succeed are the ones who quickly venture BACK onto the path they want to go on. So there's no way around it...the "all or nothing" thinking has got to go. How to do that...well, maybe you can start by viewing each food choice as an INDIVIDUAL decision. Someone had a quote in their signature..."Every bite is a choice". It's true! Repeat it to yourself, especially if you're off plan.

The fact of the matter is, you don't have to be perfect to lose weight. You just have to be doing pretty well, more often than you're not. Weight loss isn't all or nothing, after all...eating a cookie on Friday doesn't negate all the good work you did Mon-Thurs, so why should it sabotage the good work you've got ahead of you on Saturday and Sunday?

Stick around, post, and think about each mouthful as a conscious decision. Hopefully, something will click!

First of all

I said in another thread that dieting seems to be a process of fine-tuning things, of finding what does and does not work for you, and applying that knowledge.

The way I see things, you are trying to tell yourself that your current approach is not a good fit. Maybe you are being too restrictive. Maybe you are trying to make too many drastic changes all at once. Maybe you just hate the plan you are following and need to try something different.

For example, if calorie counting is not working for you, maybe you would be happier on South Beach or some other approach.

Or, maybe you just need better planning. If you free-wheel things, maybe you need something more structured, such as sitting down once a week, planning out everything that you will eat for the following week, and keeping track of it by either writing it down or logging it online.

I personally hate planning. I hate sitting down with a calculator, measuring things out, making a menu for the week, and so on. Hate it! Whenever I would force myself to do it, I would inevitably fall right off the wagon after a few weeks and blame myself for failing when the real problem was that I hadn't found something that I could really stick with yet.

In the past, I also thought I could succeed by sticking to frozen diet meals like Lean Cuisine. Sure, it worked for a little while, but I hated the food and eventually quit.

Calorie counting, menu-planning, measuring, frozens meals---all those things have worked for different people here very well. They just didn't work for me.

The point is that you have to find what works for you. What works for me may not work for anyone else in the world. What worked for Glory or for RockinRobin probably wouldn't work for me.

Some of us are lucky enough to find that magical right plan right off the bat--sort of like some people fall in love at first sight and stay married for 70 years to the same person. The rest of us have to experiment a little bit before we find "the one" -- in this case, it would be "the one" plan that we can stick to for the rest of our lives.

I could go on and on, but I know other people here will come along with great tips and support.

Don't give up, Crazed! You CAN do it!

You know, learning to eat healthy and lose weight is a process. Every time things don't go as planned, think of it as a learning experience. I've fallen many times, but each time I do, I learn something new and it helps me fine tune my process. Things are slowly coming together and I finally feel like I am starting to get things right. I think it is normal to fall off the wagon, the important thing is that you pick yourself up and go on. Maybe if you post your plan, what you are doing/how you are eating, someone might be able to offer suggestions to help you. Don't be hard on yourself, it happens to everyone...I bet if you asked those that have lost their weight and are maintaining, they will say that they've fallen too, many times. Hang in there, you can do it!

If you got a flat tire... would you pull off on the side of the road and slash the other three?

If you tripped on a stair, would you throw yourself down the rest of them?

That's what it's like to slip on your food plan and decide you might as well forget the rest of the day. It makes no sense! It's kind of a sneaky way of giving oneself permission to fail, isn't it?

So--you have to work on that. It has to stop. You have to want to succeed.

Have you considered joining a program in real life like Weight Watchers, where you have group support? That might help you stay on plan and resist the "bad" influences... Or some other group plan--like TOPS.

Good luck! Don't give up! You can do it!

Jay

Wow, I've never thought of it that way but it makes perfect sense!

Right now I'm doing calorie counting. I just started back to work and I have a 1 year old so it turns out I don't have all that much time for counting. I have made some progress in that I have given up sugar-filled cereals in the morning and have started eating fruit for snacks and veggies with dinner. I guess sometimes I do just get lazy about my diet because I have other things in my life that are important to me and I'm having a hard time balancing them all out.

But losing weight IS important. Just as important as the other umpteen things you've got going on. You've got to MAKE it a priority. In fact losing weight, getting to a healthy weight that is, will actually make all the other things in your life go more smoothly. I know for me, in order for weight loss to occur, I really had to put my health front and center. Just as important as paying the bills, getting food on the table, taking care of the kids, doing the laundry, my work, you name it. Laziness and *time* for counting calories, come on now. None of that. Losing weight IS doable, but it does require work and yes, time. Time well spent.

All that being said, do you have a plan in place? Your meals and snacks mapped out AHEAD of time. Eating healthy does not happen by chance in our society. Therefore it is VITAL to prepare for it in advance.

Glad to hear you're making progress. With a little fine tuning, a tweak here and there and making this a tippy top priority - you'll get to where you want.

I'm still learning, and until I get it down, my weight is stagnant and at times, all rollercoaster-y. I find myself eating too many carbs, not enough veggies, skipping meals, completely forgetting to drink water...

Until I make everything a habit, I can't expect to drop. I gave up all fast food and all pop and that helped me lose 12 pounds in two weeks. Now I need to give up simple carbs and add cardio.

It's all a process. I'm frustrated too, so I know where you're coming from. I've found that looking at weight loss like a game or a puzzle helps me stay focused.

I hope you can find out what works for you! You can do anything! Just tell yourself you can and you will! Good luck!

Of course you CAN do it! Your body will respond to the physics of weight loss. I agree with Robin, you have to make it a priority. It can be hard with a little one, but lots of us have kids, and jobs, and over-committed lives.

You can do it. Make up your mind and nothing will stop you!

CrazedLedZepFan -- You CAN do this I can't add anything to what was said because everything I thought of was said ..... This too shall pass and you WILL lose the weight... Also join us in the Featherweights section of the forum, many of us there have smaller amounts of weights to lose, we help each other with the bumps along the way...

Perfectly said Amanda ....


.... and JayEll..... If you got a flat tire... would you pull off on the side of the road and slash the other three? ... OMG ... Love your comparisons....

I think of my calorie allotment for the day the same way I do my bank account. Yes, I occasionally overspend and make poor choices. But, the sooner I get back on my budget, the better off I will be. And, if I overspend one day, can I maybe cut back for a couple days and balance it out?

None of us make perfect choices every day of our lives. We just need to keep at it. Budget/Plan and stick to it as much as we can. And - adjust along the way as we learn and our needs change.

If you think you're going to fail then you will.
A positive attitude is half of the battle.
You need to know-not think but KNOW that you can do this.

You can do this, and you will do this..

I can really relate, I'm losing 7lbs still that I gained last week when I went crazy and almost gave up.

But you can always lose the weight, it's not the end of the world! We all have little slips, but if we just gave up we wouldn't reach our destination. You'll be fine hun, You just need to keep a positive face on it. Try talking to your mum, explain how important this is to you..