Support Needed!!!
 

My grown son lives with me and thinks dieting or even eating healthy is the work of the devil. He gives me no support and even says things like "Mom you're old, you're fat its nature" Its depressing and I need some good freinds who will encourage me to keep on and not listen to him, not even hear his words, but listen to my own words and heart, I want to lose weight! I will lose weight!

I think that maybe you should sit down and have a talk with your son. Tell him how important this is to you, and that you would really appreciate his support (or at least no negative comments). Explain that you are really trying to make healthy changes to your life.

And if he still doesn't support you, I'll give you some support! :carrot: YOU CAN DO THIS! It takes time and effort and will power, but imagine the results at the end! You are doing yourself such a favor by eating healthy and losing weight, it will probably add years on to your life! :hug:

I agree with ShadesofGray! Let him know that he is hurting you by his words.

Here is some support... you go girl! If you have raised a son you can lose this weight!!!

Absolutely, listen to your heart, you want to lose weight and be healthy! And your son should want you to be healthy too, so maybe a serious conversation with him would be a good thing!

You can do it, don't stop!

Honestly ... if it was my son and he was living with me ... I'd put the smackdown on him. ;) And I'm only partially joking here. IMO that kind of talk is rude and disrespectful to *anyone* and especially to a parent.

My response would be: Son, if you can't be supportive, then I expect you to be polite at the very least. Say something nice, or don't say anything at all.

Seriously. Why would you allow someone - especially your son - to treat you so rudely. Stand up for what you know is right.

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You could outline all of the health consequences of obesity for him and ask if he wants his mom around or not!

Let him know that without you around (healthy) he'll have to find another place to live.

Perhaps that will motivate the ungrateful so-and-so to be more supportive and less rude to his mother!

My first reaction to this is that you should say this to him:

"Well, it's also nature that the young leave the nest when they are grown, son. Time to fly."

I'm sorry you have to put up with your own son being insensitive, rude, and unsupportive. :hug:

Your son is wrong. Yes, you CAN lose weight! Yes, you WILL!

Just hang in there, ignore his ignorant comments, and keep going. In no time you will see the pounds begin to melt away, and even the years will seem to come off your face.

A lot of us start out alone. Our friends and families just don't get it.
We just keep plugging along.
Our loved ones either get used to our actions or join in. Either way ... the initial strangness passes. He'll ease up.

If not just rude, it can sound pretty abusive if this is continuous. :\

If I were you I would've kicked him out already. But then again, I am not a mother, and I don't know about experiencing the maternal love that I've so often heard about.

But like others before me have said, we'll be here for you!!! :D

ya know if my grown child lived with me (and was not disabled emotionally) and talked to me like that, my grown healthy able to support himself child would be homeless.

you can do this. ignore his stupidity.

Aging does not mean fat!!! Aging means getting older in terms of how long you have lived on this earth...nothing else... You have determination on how much you want to work to have the body that you want... Exercise, strength training, healthy diet and habits can give you a healthy body no matter the age...it just gets more difficult the longer you are here...

And I agree...that was an extremely disrespectful comment from your son...I would talk to him about that alone...

You should introduce him to the real devil - paying rent to uncaring landlords.

I agree with what the other ladies said. Time to have a SERIOUS discussion with Mr. Son and explain to him that he does not HAVE TO live with you. Time for him to start looking for a place of his own.
Don't put up with his rude behaviour!

Thank you everyone! I feel better having heard from all of you! I will continue my fight to lose weight.
just to clarify my son is grown and has been out of the house, he came back to help me after my marrige fell apart.

AH--the psychologist in me alerts... (i do have a degree in psych I am not in practice)...

MOM gets thin
MOM gets attractive
MOM gets a new man
MOM is now a WOMAN without DAD
SON can not deal with that emotionally maybe on a very subconscious level.

he's saying what he's saying because in his mind if you stay the way you are maybe you and dad can get back together... it's a subconscious thing totally. he may know you are not going to get back together. he may even know that you being apart is BETTER for you but in subconscious he wants mommy and daddy to be a couple.... even a an adult.

And of course there is a certain amount of comfort in mom always looking the same. Just tell him you'll always be dear old mom but you'll be "HOT" dear old mom! Sons don't see us as women--we're mom.

Geez, no wonder some animal species eat their young!

You can ABSOLUTELY do this!

Oh, never mind about your son. I think he must have picked up some bad habits from dad... ;)

In any case, you can succeed in losing weight! Come up with your plan and stick to it. Since he's an adult, I assume he can figure out how to get his own food, if he doesn't want to have what you prepare.

We're here to cheer you on! :cheer2: Don't give up!

Jay

Have a serious and honest talk with him so he's aware of what he's doing. If he continues just cover your ears and go: "lalalalalalala not listening, don't care what you're saying lalalalala". LOL :D

You can absolutely do this, we're all here to support you. Like SusanB said, sometimes the support at home is the last one to come, but eventually it will.

Hang in there, you CAN do this, you WILL do this! :hug:

You go!
 

I loved "Apple Cheeks" reply! "Time for you to fly, son" hehehehe :carrot:

Kids are brats, bottom line! Don't get me wrong, we love em to death, and I would jump in front of a train to save my daughter. But if you're like me, a LOT of your extra weight is probably a result of stress eating, all the worry we mommies have to do all the time (are they healthy as babies, are they going to get stolen from the bus stop, will they survive their first breakup, will they ever grow up and get a job and move the heck out, etc, etc, etc).

Now is YOUR time, and he can get with the program, or you can just chuckle to yourself about all those young ones won't understand till they get a few more years behind them!!!!!! BIG :hug: WE can do this, I know it!!!!!

The fact that he came back to support you when your marriage broke down shows that he's capable of being considerate and understanding how other people can be hurting.

Tell him how much the things he says upset you, how much you want to change your life, even show him this thread! Maybe he just doesn't realise how serious you are about this, so make it clear to him that this is so important to you and how dedicated you are to it. Maybe he thinks you should be pampering yourself instead of (in his eyes) depriving yourself and suffering even more.

Give him a chance to change by explaining to him how important this is to you. If he doesn't support you after that, then I agree with everyone else above :)

If he wont support you, then prove him wrong!

great replies everyone Thanks!

Ahahahahahahaha!!!!! :lol: Oh my gosh, Glory, that's awesome!

Seriously--- I was going to grad school and living with my mother and ANY time I would complain about ANYTHING... she'd simply say "Don't say one more word until you do some research and find out how much rent, utilities, and food cost to live on your own." That pretty much ended any argument we had. She was doing me a FAVOR by letting me live there. And never let me forget it.

Maybe your son is living with you to help financially support you. Maybe it's the other way around. EITHER WAY.. it doesn't matter. He says NOTHING or he is positive. Don't let him speak to you that way. It's YOUR HOME you allow only what you WANT in your home (whether that be FOOD or the type of attitude!!!!)