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Old 04-04-2008, 11:25 PM   #16  
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Totally understand this one! Either people don't understand because they do not have food triggers or weight problems, or they know the cake is bad and they don't want to eat it alone, lol.

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Old 04-05-2008, 02:23 AM   #17  
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It seems like they are implying that you are selfish for doing something good for yourself. Sucks.
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Old 04-05-2008, 04:48 AM   #18  
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I have some of these same issues at work as well.

I work in a classroom with two other wonderful ladies (thin ladies)........I am counting calories and eat 3 meals plus 3 snacks a day.....I will bring lunch in and each day they comment on something I'm eating.........now mind you they do encourage me and are very supportive of my weight loss ..........but there are times!!! LOL specially when they break out the chocolate or cookies and start snacking and offer me one......I say no.....they say oh one wont hurt you.....I usually say something on the lines of....

I would rather not waste "X" amount of calories on one small piece of that.........When I could have an apple or orange.....or something of comparable calorie value....and be fuller longer.
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Old 04-05-2008, 05:21 AM   #19  
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With some exceptions, I think people are just trying to be social and making sure no one is left out. At the end of the day, no one but the one who declined the treat is thinking about the fact that someone didn't eat a piece of cake or a cookie. After you refuse treats repeatedly, someone may remember. Or even plan something better for you as in Glory's situation.

Last edited by WebRover; 04-05-2008 at 05:22 AM.
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Old 04-05-2008, 08:39 AM   #20  
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The worse is when there is another overweight person trying to shove food in your face. Well that's what happened to me last week. A coworker brought in ice cream cake and I love ice cream cake, but I'm really trying to make life changes now so I passed. And someone else gets a spoonful of the icing and puts it less than two inches from my mouth and tells me oh it won't kill you. Rude for starters. But if you looked at both of us, you'd be like hey it might. This isn't just about looking good, it's about being healthy too. I've had enough of that clogging up my system.
And yes I did pass on the spoonful of icing too.

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Old 04-05-2008, 10:49 AM   #21  
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At work, our meetings are based around food. For instance, we have a monthly manager's meeting. Each manager rotates as the lunch providing person. They make lasagna, etc, salad (which is good), and then at least 2 types of desserts, sometimes candy. Now I don't eat sugar or white flour and struggle with compulsive overeating. They end up passing the candy and deserts around the table. I bring my own sandwich (whole wheat with sliced turkey and a piece of cheese and Nayonaise [soy mayo]) every month because there is usually white flour products.

Of course, next month is my turn to bring lunch--just great.

And that's just one of our monthly meetings. Food is very important to everyone. Of course, they pass all the junk food around the table.

Even my friends & family want to go out to eat. I don't want to. Jeez, and I thought things revolved around alcohol (I'm a recovering alcoholic too).

I feel good eating well, not eating sugar or flour, but I'm still uncomfortable around a lot of food sometimes. My mental programming when I go to a restaurant is to get a big fattening meal, not a salad, so why go? Because at work, they'll want to do Chinese for lunch, etc.

Sorry for the long rant. It's just nice that other people understand.

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Old 04-05-2008, 12:12 PM   #22  
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Originally Posted by jusalilbabefat View Post
The worse is when there is another overweight person trying to shove food in your face.
Oh, that's definitely a case of someone wanting to "spread the guilt around" - that person knew it was bad and was self-conscious about being "the overweight person who always eats the bad stuff" and wanted to bring you down with him/her. Congrats for passing on that spoonful of icing. Hopefully you made that person think about his/her own situation a little...
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Old 04-05-2008, 11:05 PM   #23  
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Hey folks... I'm new on this and was just browsing the posts and noticed this one. I used to work in an office setting and I would get ridiculed when I brought in a HUGE salad while everyone else ate crap. "Wow! So nice of you to bring salad for everyone!" I swear, someone would say something at least once a day. Meanwhile, they're mowing down on something that probably had the caloric content of 5 times my salad. I like to eat a lot so I believe in the theory of volumetrics.

I actually believe it's because people are insecure about what they're eating so they need to make themselves feel better and less guilty for making fun of others for doing the right thing. It is SO frustrating though and you're not alone at all.
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Old 04-06-2008, 07:23 AM   #24  
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Old 04-06-2008, 07:32 AM   #25  
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"normal" only has to be for the individual in my opinion - Tealeaf, you are not a freak, you are normal for you. This is what you do. You don't want the cake, you don't take the cake. I think we must have some kind of cake or treat every single day at my office (oh AND I work for Starbucks, so temptation is only a few steps away in our store) and there had to come a time where I just said "no" and then stick to my guns.

There will be people who don't understand or who say "come on, it won't hurt you" but ultimately they have NO IDEA how much this can hurt us.

What I do for birthdays and such is go down with my colleagues to get cake... but then I just hang back, stand around or move around from colleague to colleague having a chat. That way it looks like I'm going along with everyone else, but I have the added bonus of not having to consume something I really don't want Maybe you could try something like that next time you are in that situation?

By the way I bring a HUGE amount of food/containers to work every day. There is always someone who says "Are you going to eat all THAT???" I say "no one ever gained weight from a huge mixed greens salad" and then move on. Some people just don't understand, that's all.
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Old 04-06-2008, 07:51 AM   #26  
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It's diffecult to please everyone, including your self sometimes...

But, I'm sure at the end of the day you were happy that you were strong and did the right thing. And I'n sure they were happy to see you strong will...

But to avoid such situations-mybe ina different place-, I've seen a few of my family who are wieght obssed take the piece of cake or food on to their plate, play with it, so it seems touched...
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Old 04-06-2008, 04:33 PM   #27  
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Tealeaf, good for you for sticking to your guns! I understand what you mean about feeling like the event is revolving around food, and you're not fully taking part unless you're eating. It's hard, because we are social animals, and we want to share in the event/celebration.

At my old job, where we had monthly birthday parties, I suggested that we have a healthier option as well as the cake. This was after I noticed that five or six people (including me) were turning down the cake altogether. I left that job shortly after, so I don't know if anything ever came of it, but it didn't hurt to ask.

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Old 04-06-2008, 04:46 PM   #28  
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I am such a food addict -- I could not dream of taking a piece and "playing" with it -- the gravitational pull to my mouth would be just too great!!

I'm amazed at the food pushers -- you wouldn't make an alcoholic feel bad about not having a drink, why should I feel guilty about not eating cake? For some reason, it makes us anti-social!!

I have a problem too with passing up food -- because I am still VERY overweight, I fear it draws attention to me -- either that they don't believe I'm trying/will ever lose weight or that for some reason I have to explain myself.

Every opportunity you have to pass on the "extras" while there are food pushers involved makes you a stronger person and puts you that much closer to your goal. "They" will always be there, but you have to live with yourself and the choices you make - why shouldn't these choices be in your best interest and not necessarily what makes you fit in. You will win in the long run.

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Old 04-06-2008, 09:53 PM   #29  
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my work is the same way. I usually give in and have a peice. I don't think they are trying to sabatoge me or anything, but I sure do wish they didn't bring it around. *sigh* Sometimes I gotta get better at.
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Old 04-07-2008, 12:01 AM   #30  
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I don't see myself ever taking a a plate of food that I didn't want just for show. I'm kinda stubborn. If I don't want to eat that cake/cookie/whatever, I'm simply not going to take it regardless of what anyone says or thinks about me. This might be in part because I know that if I have it in my grubby little hands, I will be much more likely to eat some.

Doesn't mean that I didn't feel really out of place while all this was going on. There's only about 8 of us on the 3rd shift in my department, and it was very, very obvious that everyone noted that I wasn't partaking. Like I said, I'm not mad at them because I do think that was just simple human nature. But it was tough. I'm glad so many of you here understand what I was feeling!
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