Hi Samantha!
I'm similar to you...we're the same height and almost the same weight...which I also carry mainly in the thighs, hips, belly and caboose. I've received similar remarks but without the negative overtone which, btw, I think you handled just fine!
One gentleman, the owner of a local store I pass on my way to work every day, made several remarks to me. The first time he thought I was sick because I'd lost, in his perception, a lot of weight in a short time. (He happens to have a heavyset daughter.) A few months ago he told me that every time he saw me, I looked like I was wasting away to nothing....mind you, I lost most of my weight in the first half of 2007 and plateaued the second half. His son told one of my co-workers "that girl you work with got so skinny." Women at work asked me if I was sure I wasn't losing during the fall because to them it looked like I was getting smaller. And a number of women at my work are interested/are trying weight loss themselves so we exchange ideas and such. People know that I've worked/am working on losing weight but only you guys and my mother know the figures. My mother was a little worried when I told her I'd like to be 140--I was 139 in my early 20s (I'm 42 now) and I still had a round butt (heck, I had the butt when I was a teenager) and meat on my bones so I know I'm not going to look bony. But, like you, I need to tone up as well...I've always been soft and flabby.
But I think the height (both of us being 5'7", for example) is also a factor in people's perception of how much you weigh. Admittedly, it's been a double-edged sword for me. The good thing was that it helped me to camouflage my real weight. The bad thing was, well, that it helped me to camouflage my real weight!
Obviously, 200 pounds would look different on a 5-foot person than on me. I mean, I could make myself look smaller than I was but the flip side was that, while I was busy trying to hide it, I wasn't doing anything about actually losing it.
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Also, the changes in your body are usually bigger than you can actually see yourself, so to these people, you are SO much smaller that they can't fathom you actually shrinking further.
They must be...I feel like I don't look like that much different yet my clothes and the scale tell another story. If it weren't for those I might guess I've lost maybe 10 pounds cuz I feel like I'm pinching the same rolls I was before.
This whole distorted perception (theirs and ours) is so wacky.
I think maybe I didn't realize how big I had gotten, that I'm halfway to goal and it appears less.
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Also...they see me in figure flattering clothes but they don't see me in a bathing suit.
Exactly. I can see the difference in appearance when I wear clothes that are a little baggy/loose on me vs. wearing those that are more snug. It's ironic, actually. We, or at least I, tend to think the looser clothes hide more sins, therefore, making me look smaller but I'm realizing that sometimes those clothes you think are camouflaging are making you appear bigger. Here I was getting these "you're getting smaller" remarks during those plateau months when I was just wearing clothes that flattered me more.
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What cracks me up is my MIL is "concerned" I am getting too thin, but she still bought me XL clothes for Xmas.
I got 2 pairs of XL pajamas for Christmas...one from my sister, who lives in another state so we hadn't seen each other for 2 years until Christmas and I had never said anything to her about my weight loss, and the other pair from a co-worker who sees me several times a week.
Still, they are pjs so I'll wear 'em.
BTW, the same co-worker gave me a full-size bag of M & M's also.