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-   -   Why Do I Always Give Up?? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/128493-why-do-i-always-give-up.html)

jasmine620 12-07-2007 08:38 PM

Why Do I Always Give Up??
i was so motivated before! i can never be motivated always for some reason. it's not just with weight loss its everything.

Synergy 12-07-2007 09:14 PM

I can totally understand where you're coming from! I think the only way I can really motivate myself, is just keep on coming here and read other people's post about how they lost the weight that's what keep me motivated.

Heather 12-07-2007 09:23 PM

I know what you mean. It's frustrating. My motivation comes and goes. I have found I can't rely on motivation. I had to make a commitment and try to maintain new habits. For example, I don't love to exercise, but I set myself an exercise goal for every month. That's my commitment. If I relied on motivation, I'd rarely work out.

Think about the other things you do because you have to -- paying your bills and brushing your tooth. We don't always WANT to, but we HAVE to, so we do it!

It also helps to do everything you can to set yourself up for success. I go shopping every weekend to buy fruit and veggies. I package them up on the weekend, so I have fewer excuses not to bring them during the week. I cook food on the weekend so I can "grab and go".

Hopefully you can get lots of ideas here!

JayEll 12-07-2007 09:24 PM

jasmine620, if you have a lot going on in your life, it's really hard to stay motivated! That's where priorities come in. First priority should be taking care of yourself properly--and eating right (not necessarily for weight loss, but just eating right) should be right up there with washing your hair and brushing your teeth.

That way, even if you don't feel motivated, you'll still do what has become habit. You wouldn't not brush your teeth because you didn't feel motivated. I hope!

So planning what you're going to eat and making sure you have what you need--even if it's just the sandwich you'll get at the cafeteria--helps you make things more automatic and you don't have to second-guess so much.

If you are really feeling like you don't even want to shower, comb your hair, or brush your teeth... then you could have depression, and you should see a doctor about it, or perhaps talk to a counselor or trusted friend.

Don't give up! This is just life! You'll figure it out. :cheer2:


Glory87 12-07-2007 10:10 PM

I can only speak for myself.

For 20 years, I started and stopped, gained and lost and gained some more. I could stick to it for a day or a week or a month or even 6 months, but never forever.

Finally, in July 2004, I really thought hard about why I kept stopping. I had proven over and over again that I could lose weight, but I could never keep it off, I ALWAYS gave up and gained all the weight back and more.

In my own very critical self-analysis, I realized that for me losing weight meant a purposely short period of restriction and then I wanted to eat "normally" again. I would be very "perfect" very low calorie, exercise every day, plain chicken, lettuce leaf salads with lemon juice, apples for snacks. I could maintain this perfectly for a short time. Two things always happened:

1. I would get so hungry, bored, restless, deprived, I would binge. Then I would feel like a loser and I would give up, go back to eating normally.
2. I would reach some goal weight and stop and go back to eating normally.

I realized that my NORMAL made me heavy. How I liked to eat, my "normal" was what made me fat.

For the first time, I didn't think about how to diet and lose weight, but how to keep weight off forever - I had to change my normal.

After that, after that moment of perfect clarity it was simple for me. I decided to change how I ate forever, in a way I LIKED (I had to LIKE it), it had to be sustainable. I made some tough decisions (I could live forever without fast food, sugary soda, packaged baked goods) and some changes I could stick to (complex carbohydrates vs. empty carbohydrates, packing lunches, eating almost all whole foods, meal planning, food journaling, portion control) and then jumped in with both feet, full throttle.

It has been an exhilerating ride - at no time did I EVER think I would stop or fail. The weight came off, I went from a tight size 18 to a comfy size 6. I went from a 42DD to a 34D, I lost 10 inches off my waist. I gained confidence, energy, I learned to love myself.

When I ate "normally" I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted but I wasn't happy. I was heavy, miserable, depressed and endlessly fantasized about being thin. Now, I eat very consciously, at least 90% of the time. I like the foods I eat and I am happy, energetic, love shopping and pictures of myself and getting dressed in the morning (and undressed at night, if you know what I mean).

You can do it. I used to be the pastriest eating, pizza loving, chocolate bar hoarding bad eater in the universe. Today, I started the day with whole grain toast with natural peanut butter, snacked on some strawberries for snack. I brought my own spinach, dried cranberry, grilled chicken salad, had an orange and sugar free cocoa and a baggie of chopped vegetables in the afternoon. Tonight, I am going to Mimi's for dinner and I already know I am having a teriyaki chicken salad (it comes with a muffin and I will split it with a friend). I plan nearly all my meals - in my opinion, it is IMPOSSIBLE to eat healthy by accident.

If I can do this, anybody can do this. It has nothing to do with motivation. I know what has to be done, and I do it. Just like getting the oil changed, brushing my teeth and paying bills.

Justwant2Bhealthy 12-07-2007 11:58 PM

THANKS HEATHER ~ that's exactly it; we have to MAKE A COMMITMENT just like you would in a marriage. You must be committed or you will bail when the going gets tough; may sound simplistic, but it is so true! If we go by our feelings or circumstances (if that is what motivation is based on); and our feelings are all over the place: up and down, then so will our eating, becuz for me the two are very related (emotional eating).

Now that I recognize this, I have made a new commitment to eat well and exercise regularly becuz it's the best thing to do for good health and well being overall. That is the kind of 'structure' I needed. I would also say, 'KEEP IT SIMPLE' especially during stressful times. And, I choose to forgive myself for slips, and move on to the next moment ...

I am also very encouraged by other people's successes here. It's nice to come to a place where people know exactly what I am going thru; we share a common journey ... ROSEBUD

jasmine620 12-08-2007 03:44 PM

aww thanks! i feel better

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