Hi,
How the heck do you stay focused and self-disciplined????????
I am such an undisciplined person when it comes to eating and other areas of my life. There have been times when I have been very focused and disciplined with working out for quite long stretches (months at a time) but mostly I am weak. I'm not the best at managing my time either and I have a very busy life.
Love to hear your best tips

I don't have any tips, except to JUST DECIDE.

Ultimately, you're in control...you make the decisions. If something is a particular problem for you (skipping the gym, late night eating), it might be best to set a "rule" for 3 weeks. You have to make the decision not to break the rule. At the end of three weeks, it'll probably be a habit to go to the gym/not snack in front of the TV, etc.

There are lots of tricks we all use, but ultimately, you just decide that you're doing it, and then you do it.

1. Food and exercise journal (Fitday). Forcing myself to log everything helps hold me accountable
2. 3FC - joining challenges on 3FC (like biggest loser) reminds me that others are depending on me to do well
3. Start the day strong - half hour of Bible reading and prayer, followed by 30-45 minutes of exercise (yoga or weights), then breakfast. Such a good foundation gives me the best chance of success for the rest of the day
4. Partner - DH is eating and losing weight with me - so I can use his strength to help me and visa-versa.
5. Don't dwell on imperfection - recover as quickly as possible and realize that today is the first day of the rest of my life (trite but true)

I say COMMITMENT (which is strikingly similar to mandalinn's Just Decide )

I never had "will power" before and don't have discipline in many areas of my life. But the places I do have discipline are the ones that are important to me. I was able to have discipline about weight loss when it became important enough to me that I was willing to make long term changes and stick with them.

But I sometimes think not even that's enough. I also had That Voice in my head. You know the one that says "Heather, you've tried this before and failed. Several times. What makes you think this will be any different?"

For me, I didn't have to completely and utterly believe I could do it -- lose weight -- but I had to be willing to consider the POSSIBILITY it might work.

I noticed something recently at the gym. My trainer shows me a new move. And in my head That Voice says, again, "You can't do that!" I have learned not to listen to That Voice and give it a go. Now, I can't always do it right away, and I don't always do it well... but when I allow myself the possibility that I can do something I've never done before... well, it's AMAZING all the things I never thought I could do!!

thanks for the feedback so far,
that's my problem, I can't seem to decide, or I do and then get off track so fast.
Maybe I don't want it enough or feel I can't but it's obvious possible because I've seen proof in all the before and after pics on this site. That's why I used 135again as my user name. All the people on this site who are successful have shown me that getting to 135 is possible. I always told myself I'd be happy to get to 155(top of scale for healthy weight for my age and height) but after seeing all the success here there is no reason, if I ever get it together that I couldn't weigh 135 again - a weight where I feel very comfortable. I can remember feeling fat at 155 as I'd always been between 123-135. 133 was really good after my first baby. I felt good. I think my ultimate weight was 125 when I was I was doing lots of cycling. It felt so freeing to be lean and not worry about how clothes looked on.
You are right , it's all about the deciding and I have the power. Even if I really wanted to get to 125 again it is possible if I am willing to do what it takes.
Guess I needed to ramble.....

Hi there. That's EXACTLY what my initial goal weight was -135 pounds. And then it was 125. And it IS doable.

I will echo the combination of what Mandalinn and Heather both said - it's a decision one has to make and then a commitment . Once I made that decision and the ensuing commitment, the strength, the power and the control followed - all things I thought never could exist for me. Having made that commitment and the decision, I became extremely determined, and there was no stopping me.

But yes, you have to want it very, VERY badly. At least for me, it had to be the most important thing on my agenda. I had to keep it a main focus in my life. I had to make it just as important as paying the bills, running my household, taking care of and providing for my childen and husband, my job, my social obligations, my charity commitments, etc... I had to plan for it, the food shopping, the healthy cooking, my food "scheduele", the exercise, etc., just like I plan and keep all my other obligations. I would never think of backing down on a commitment to someone else, never, so I needed to do the same thing for and to myself.

I just want to add, it was indeed the very best decision I have ever made. No longer having the burden of being morbildy obese, obese or even overweight, is way better then anything I could have imagined. I'm sorry that I waited til I was 42 to tackle this, because had I known it would be this incredulous, I would have done it lots earlier. Because, really, I ALWAYS had the control, I ALWAYS had the strength, as we all do - I just didn't realize it, until I made the, uh huh - decision and the commitment.

So please, make that decision, and that commitment and you most certainly will be - 135 again. Good luck to you.

Robin said it so well!

I just want to add one thing -- it may sound overwhelming all the things to change! Many people make all the changes at once. I was not one of them. I made a commitment and began slowly... first just focusing on portion control and bringing lunches and snacks to work. The commitment was still there, but not the entire life change.

If you are going to be successful, you need to figure out what works for you... we can give you lots and lots of examples to try!!!

Wow, you all have given some amazing replies.

The only other thing I can add is... make it a PASSION! I personally have found that losing weight requires a lot of dedication. Not focus. Not self discipline. Not will power. Just passion, dedication, commitment (as mentioned by Heather), decision (as mentioned by mandalinn), then determination, as mentioned by Robin.

I'm the kind of person that has to be passionate about something or I won't do it. Doing something half assed sets you up for failure before you even begin. Get into it and become extremely dedicated. This involves keeping track of everything you eat, exercising regularly, and/or following a set diet/exercise regimen. This involves turning down extremely unhealthy foods, because you know they're just not worth it. This involves getting off your butt and working out for 15 minutes... I say 15 because once you get to that point where you're all revved up, you'll want to go for 15 more, and maybe even 15 more after that!

Tips for you and your busy life: I'm assuming you work often. While at work, I'm also assuming you have breaks During these breaks, go for a brisk walk and/or jog. Do you have a bike? Is your job nearby (within ten miles and no major highways)? If so, start riding your bike to work. Buy a cheap pilates DVD. I recommend Windsor Pilates; it's easy and 30 minutes. Weight loss doesn't have to be complicated; the path just has to start with passion

Hi there. The biggest thing that has helped me stay committed is to visit this site on a daily basis, sometimes 2-3 times a day. It reminds me of the committment to myself and I don't want to be someone that come on the board for a couple of weeks/months and then disappear again...I want to be in this for the long haul. That may sound stupid, but it works for me.

You may want to try breaking up your goal into mini-goals. I have a lot of weight to lose, and if I think about losing all that weight, it makes me anxious and I feel like it is unattainable/too hard. But if I set a goal of losing 10 lbs at a time, it is easier. I can do 10 lbs...that isn't too hard. Then I can do the next ten, etc. Maybe that will help you. Also, instead of focusing on the weightloss, focus on a goal of eating healthy for your body...eating more whole foods instead of processed foods, committing to eating at least 25g of fiber a day, committing to eating at least 3 servings of fruit per day etc, if you are meeting these goals, you pretty much have to be eating the right things to lose weight, it's hard to eat all these things and still eat junk...and tracking it all in a program like Fitday. These are the things that help me on my journey so far. Good luck!

I second trooworld's mini goal idea. I've done the same for myself. When I first started, goal just felt SO far AWAY. I was completely overwhelmed and thought, "Geeze, I'm too far gone now..." until I saw others here who lost 100+ pounds

I've broken up my goals into 20-pound increments, then the last ten. Some people have a little cheerleader in their signature for each five pounds lost. Others do the same for ten. Mini goals allow for more victories and less feeling overwhelmed, just knowing you can do it one step at a time.

You ladies rock!!!
Heather love that you took it slowly focusing on one thing at a time.
Robin's commitment, manadalin's - decide
and every other post on this thread is fantastic. Thanks for the kick in the butt.
Part of my challenge is time management - making the time for the exercise and not procrastinating, and juggling it all
I like Robin's words:"I would never think of backing down on a commitment to someone else, never, so I needed to do the same thing for and to myself."

Good on you ladies

135again - for what its worth, my approach was a lot like Heather's. Once I made the decision, I starting making the changes. And ultimately, every one of those changes was my decision - a series of decisions, all driven off the one decision/commitment to GET THIS DONE.\

Stick around! Sometimes, when the commitment flags, or you make a poor decision, its great to have a community nearby who understands, to help you back on your feet, or if you need it, kick you in the butt

And I would like to address what Shane said, about making it a PASSION. This healthy way of life, the good eating, the healthy sized portions, the planning, the exericse, most definitely has become a PASSION of mine, almost a hobby, no definitely a hobby of mine. BUT, it didn't start out that way. And that's okay. With any luck at all, it WILL. You don't have to have it all together at the very beginning to start making those changes, like Heather and Mandalinn said. You don't have to have it all figured out. Just start making the switch to a better and healthier life, and the passion will follow. As will the desire to eventually want to change it ALL up. Making a few small changes can have a wonderful snowball effect.

I would say a lot of things, but most of them have been said here already. And you know, it's different for different people. Some people really have no problem giving up junk food & others can never seem to do it. Some people have better luck with programs such as Weight Watchers, while others feel uncomfortable talking in a group like that. Some people like to exercise, others consider it a chore. You just have to find what works FOR YOU.

And for extra self-support, take a long hard thought on Heather's "5 C's of Healthy Living" - Commitment to conscious control, with the understanding that choices have consequences. It doesn't get any plainer than that.

I spend several minutes talking to myself every morning. I talk about attaining my proper weight, and how it is important for me to attain it to be healthy and fit. I deserve to be healthy and fit, and to not increase my risk of diabetes, cancer, heart disease, arthritis and back problems. My husband deserves for me to be healthy and fit. I am doing a good job with my diet and exercise and I will continue with it.

It works well. If I have a particular problem food, then I talk about it, how I will not eat it, that it is not my friend.

When I face food challenges, then I think how I deserve to be healthy and fit, that is my number 1 priority, and that food will not help.

I was instructed in this technique of positive self-talk by a cognitive behavior therapist when I was afflicted by claustrophobia.