Get the Bobbi Brown books on natural beauty or find her website. I don't know how old you are but nearing 40 I really appreciate her ideas. Very simple, natural colors for your daily routine. I'm not a girlie girl to begin with but like everyone we want to look "put together" and not feel like a slob. I think Bobbi is right, there are too many products out there and most "looks" in magazines are for the very young if that. You can find your simple day to day look that's faily effortless.
As for clothes I really thought the book Frumpy to Foxy was good. It has simple ideas on how to get dressed and take care of yourself without a lot of effort. Also I like Trinny and Suzanna from England and their books on dressing for your figure, plus What Not to Wear books. There's other books out there - and the shows if you have the stations on fashion. I used to watch the shows as a hobby, they'd pick overweight people and people with figure flaws on purpose to show what a huge difference the right clothes make. For example I'm top heavy so I wear darker colors on top and lighter on the bottom. After reading so much I have it down to a science, I used to buy things that don't fit - and even somewhat overweight I know what clothes work best for me, like 3/4 sleeve semi fitted shirts, and what colors (speaking of colors, I bet your library has the book on colors, find out which ones work for you - that's a start on clothes and makeup both).
It might be that you give up because you don't have the knowledge to put together and simple and functional wardrobe - and same with makeup. You might be making it too difficult on yourself if you are a low maintenance person - heavy or not. I don't think it's really much effort to put on makeup, have a simple haircut and a wardrobe that works with few quality clothes that mix and match.
I was reading and thinking about something else that was a first for me. I've always worn what I termed as "granny panties". Hanes Her Way or Fruit of the Loom big white briefs to fit my big wide butt...and still succeed in holding it all in. And I wore cheap Wal*Mart white bras, also designed to hold it all in. My boulder holders.
But I now wear VS lacy boy shorts with matching bras. I've also got some wild matching sets I picked up at Marshall's. Now its nothing anyone but me (and hubby) will see. But I FEEL good in them. I know that underneath I feel right now, like I can wear lace and be proud of it.
I now take care of my nails, hair, skin, the works. And I wear sexier clothing. But the underwear part? No one sees that. And STILL I feel better wearing the nice stuff underneath and shedding the drab white cotton size 10s for my lacy 5s. And I dunno, but maybe the way I FEEL comes across in how I hold my head up, how I walk with more confidence, which people DO see.
I don't usually wear a lot of make-up or do my hair. I stink at doing my own hair, and usually just forget to put on make-up. I've gotten better at remembering to put on mascara though.
In the case of clothes, sticking only to sweats and "bumming around" clothes is a serious sign that I'm falling into a depression, especially if I wear them outside the house (other than to exercise). I really try to make sure I look put-together clothes and accessories-wise (why it doesn't translate into hair/makeup, I haven't the foggiest.).
I was reading and thinking about something else that was a first for me. I've always worn what I termed as "granny panties". Hanes Her Way or Fruit of the Loom big white briefs to fit my big wide butt...and still succeed in holding it all in. And I wore cheap Wal*Mart white bras, also designed to hold it all in. My boulder holders.
True, this also fits the category, I guess! I so hate those things. Even at my highest (at least I could still find such underwear at that size) I would wear G-strings and the likes, because I couldn't fathom the idea, big but or nott, to get into 'granny panties'. The only problem remained the bras; I had to rely on sports bras quite often, if only because walking a very young and dynamic dog three times a day when your boobs are bouncing all around isn't very pleasant. Now that they have deflated a little, finding nice bras is easier, at least. Yeah, I'm a lazy bum in terms of make-up, but I have sexy underwear.
On side note, though... why is it that we can only be deemed "pretty" when we put on make-up?? So if I walk around in nice clothes, smiling and all, I am still an ugly bum just because there's no mascara and lipstick on my face nor stuff in my hair? We really DO live in a rotten society...
I only rarely wear makeup, and just because I want to give my eyes a boost. This has been true all my life, thin or fat. And I've noticed that where I live, at least, women don't seem to wear a lot of makeup these days. So perhaps it depends on locality.
Yeah, Jay, I'm the same way - I just wear eye make-up. Most of the time, I have good skin and coloring, so I don't feel the need to wear any more. Plus, I'm very skin-anal, and make-up (no matter HOW high quality) isn't the best thing for your skin.
i've sorta been in the same boat. Well, not sort of...definatelly. When i'm at a weight i feel good at, hair, makeup and nails are always done. Clothing is perfect. When i got bigger, i just stopped caring, i guess. Nothing in my closet fit and i refused to buy bigger clothes, so i've been living in sweats and oversized tshirts, hair pulled back in a ponytail, no makeup. i'm working on changing it, though.
Wow. No matter how much I weigh, I always do my best to look my best. Maybe it's because I'm so vain. Or maybe it's because I never want to be viewed as "she doesn't care how she looks!" - or maybe it's both.
All I know is that MY WEIGHT DOES NOT DEFINE ME. Skinny or fat! - My weight does not define me! And I'm a "best foot forward" kinda gal.
I've been overweight since I was a child and I've never really put much effort into makeup or clothes. I do think it mostly has to do with my weight - a very 'why bother?' attitude. I often find myself thinking, maybe when I'm thin I'll try makeup again.
My husband of a year about a month a go said I looked "raggy", and believe me although that sounds not nice he is not critical of me. That particular day I wore shorts with a rip in the butt, stained white sneakers, a tank top, with this dumb looking hoodie thing that has short sleeves, (I don't know what I was thinking when I bought that, oh I know its long), well I spent that day in tears. In some ways its good, because I have been more motivated lately. Part of the problem is, I don't have a lot of clothes that fit well, or tons of money to go shopping, but I do manage to do my hair, makeup everyday, had my teeth cleaned, got a manicure and pedicure, and some how doing these things leads to weight loss. It is a sure sign of a depression when I start looking "raggy", and I won't leave the house like that again.
I clean houses too and I was wearing men's tee shirts. I refuse to wear shirts like those anymore.
Men are just more logical then us and don't realize how sensitive we are about our looks, however your husband wasn't being "nice" when he said this to you. I suppose we all relax a bit once married and part of marriage if we like it or not, is staying attractive to our spouse. My husband on the other hand had a serious mean streak, he knew I wasn't confident about my looks and he poked fun at me on purpose, even when I really wasn't that overweight. He liked to bring me down, now isn't that sad? Since I left him I'm had to work at building my self esteem and nutrition/exercise/weight training helps me feel stronger and better. If you are cleaning houses you certainly don't need to put huge bucks into a work wardrobe especially if you are losing weight. But you can throw out your ripped up clothes that make you feel "bad." And be more cautious about what you buy, make sure every single item makes you feel really good - even if it's work clothes. Items that fit your shape and size that are as slimming as possible. If you are a little overweight you don't need to draw more attention to it by wearing ripped up tight clothes. I'd think there's some nice 3/4 sleeve shirts out there even on a budget, some longer shorts, even jean shorts that aren't all ripped up, stretch jeans that are mid cut, darker wash so they are more slimming, etc.
Horsey, you are right about those books and that show "What Not to Wear". I have the book from Stacey London and Clinton (can't remember his last name right now). Check out the "extra curvy" section!!! I am far from my desired weight, but when I buy clothes that fit (especially in the bust) and that are feminine I can look amazing in them. My husband even took the advice for his shape in the book and starting buying clothes that were more flattering. The most girly woman I know (make-up, jewelry, really cute hairdo, bright, flattering clothes, and all 20 nails always painted) is about 150 pounds overweight. I have known her for almost 20 years and she always looks like she just stepped out of a salon. Guys hit on her too. Its her confidence in herself that comes through when you talk to her. Don't fool ourselves. There are plenty of dowdy, frumpy skinny women out there. There is a reason they want to be invisible too.
When I was really skinny in my 20s I was frumpy so my girlfriend said when I was about 26, I lived in a small town, was cool there but was clueless about fashion. She sorted through my closet with me and I was amazed, she took me to the store for makeup and viola, my boyfriend couldn't believe it... however I'll admit I could wear anything back then even a paper sack, I had that type of figure. Now it's a different story, nearing 40 one can't do "that" anymore. As one ages colors that used to work ok that weren't right really aren't right. And any clothes that don't fit my top heavy figure accentuate everything. I'm the obsessive type so I studied up and now everything I buy and wear I have to really like or it's thrown out. I don't keep dumpy or frumpy or unflattering clothes around, not even for weekends. Even with my fat stomach - that I've become an expert at hiding and accentuating my long legs - every now and then someone will compliment me about being tall and thin... I"m far from it, but if I wear the wrong clothes I look 10 lbs heavier and the right clothes and I look 10 lbs thinner. Actually I think the real experts can trim down more - perhaps someone needs to sponsor a Fat Chicks Dressing Guide, there's a book like it at the library for really overweight women - of course there's many tricks to the trade, why not learn them and then if you do you save a ton of money in buying clothes that you'll never wear or that ruin your self confidence.
Hey Horsey...thanks for the info...I'll have to check out the Bobbi Brown books. My problem doesn't lie in not knowing how to put on makeup, I was a makeup artist for a while. The more that I think about it, this could all be part of my depression that I've long suffered from. I do have problems with clothing because I just can't find stuff in my size that is stylish and reasonably priced. I'm going to try the Avenue and see how expensive there stuff is...I've seen stuff on their website that looks cute.
Quote:
Originally Posted by horsey
Get the Bobbi Brown books on natural beauty or find her website. I don't know how old you are but nearing 40 I really appreciate her ideas. Very simple, natural colors for your daily routine. I'm not a girlie girl to begin with but like everyone we want to look "put together" and not feel like a slob. I think Bobbi is right, there are too many products out there and most "looks" in magazines are for the very young if that. You can find your simple day to day look that's faily effortless.
As for clothes I really thought the book Frumpy to Foxy was good. It has simple ideas on how to get dressed and take care of yourself without a lot of effort. Also I like Trinny and Suzanna from England and their books on dressing for your figure, plus What Not to Wear books. There's other books out there - and the shows if you have the stations on fashion. I used to watch the shows as a hobby, they'd pick overweight people and people with figure flaws on purpose to show what a huge difference the right clothes make. For example I'm top heavy so I wear darker colors on top and lighter on the bottom. After reading so much I have it down to a science, I used to buy things that don't fit - and even somewhat overweight I know what clothes work best for me, like 3/4 sleeve semi fitted shirts, and what colors (speaking of colors, I bet your library has the book on colors, find out which ones work for you - that's a start on clothes and makeup both).
It might be that you give up because you don't have the knowledge to put together and simple and functional wardrobe - and same with makeup. You might be making it too difficult on yourself if you are a low maintenance person - heavy or not. I don't think it's really much effort to put on makeup, have a simple haircut and a wardrobe that works with few quality clothes that mix and match.
So if I walk around in nice clothes, smiling and all, I am still an ugly bum just because there's no mascara and lipstick on my face nor stuff in my hair? We really DO live in a rotten society...
