Hi friends,

Middle of the night and I can't sleep. Hate that. Fortunately it rarely happens these days.

Anyway, my summer vacation started 5 days ago (I'm a teacher) and I've been to the gym each day. Not overdoing it, just getting back to what I started in December and then stopped doing in February. I'm determined to create some good habits this summer. So, I've started to lose weight (yay!) and to feel a little better about myself (two yays!). But the eating thing is harder for me to get a grip on. Yesterday I ate well (healthfully) all day, then went to the grocery store because I really needed to stock up. I knew before I left home that I wanted/was probably going to buy a pint of a particular kind of ice cream that I loved, and somehow didn't care. Kind of convinced myself that it wouldn't matter, because I'd been exercising so steadily, and besides, it's a rich but "light" ice cream.

Got to the store, bought good, healthful foods, and looked for the ice cream but they didn't have it. Actually this particular store doesn't usually carry it but I go there because their produce section is so good. So I loaded up my stuff and headed for home, knowing I would stop at the store that's on my way home. I did. I bought the ice cream (plus a couple bags of the frozen fruit I love), took it home, ate supper, and ate the pint of ice cream.

Seems like I'm sabotaging myself, doesn't it? Especially when I confess that I've also been to Dairy Queen several times in those 5 days. I just have so much to lose (90 pounds) that when I started to exercise and also to eat healthfully for most of the day, every day, I started to lose anyway because it was such a huge improvement over what I'd been doing for a long time.

Any ideas on how to get through those times when your brain goes into that mode of "I'm doing so well most of the time that I can get this and it won't matter"? That's not exactly what was going on in my brain, but I can't seem to describe it any better than that right now.

I know I could have decided not to go to the store, but I was completely out of fresh fruit and most of the healthful foods I like to eat. And that wasn't really the issue, because I decided ahead of time to buy the ice cream.

Gee, I write long posts in the middle of the night . . . .

Similar experiences? Suggestions on changing mindset?

Hugs,
Barb

I find that if I try to cut something that I love completely out of my life, that I'll just want it more and end up binging. Why not promise yourself that you can have ice cream as a treat once per week? That way you're not completely cutting it out, but you're eating it in moderation.

That's what I tell myself--that I can have it on the week-end, and in the meantime, I'll eat the healthy way. Come the week-end, if I still crave it, then I have it. Once out of twice, though, the craving's gone, and I realize I don't miss that particular food a lot.

I know very well the "I've done so well, so now I deserve <insert food here>" mindset. It was actually part of my big relapse last year, it entailed thoughts of complacency, and, well, I regained some weight. Yeah, great. The truth is, we really have to convince ourselves that, no, we don't 'deserve' it because, after all, our bodies have already got their reward--healthy, yummy foods. (Or, if you want to think in derogatory terms, you don't deserve anything because you haven't accomplished any feat: eating the healthy way is normal, eating unhealthy foods is what isn't. But personnally, negative self-talk doesn't work well for me, and I know it also doesn't work for many people, so it may very well be a slippery slope here...)

This said, well, it's all self-talk and easier said than done, so... I hope you will find a solution that works for you in that regard.

I tried to play that game for awhile, some years back--the one where you tell yourself it's OK once a week or some such. Speaking only for myself, there are some foods where that just does not work. I would eat 1 pint of ice cream, and it would not be the "lite" version. So I just stay away from ice cream. It doesn't come into the house. If I'm going nuts over it, I'll go to an ice cream store and buy a small cup of it. And of course I count it along with everything else, in my FitDay. Pretty soon you can see what you're doing to your program just to have some ice cream. It's not worth it very often.

irishharper, you do sound like you're sabotaging yourself--I don't want to sound harsh, but I don't know how else to put it! You actually planned to buy and eat a pint of ice cream, and you used having to buy groceries as the "excuse." And you even made a special trip to another store. Gee...

Same for the trips to Dairy Queen. How are you telling yourself that it's OK to do that when you want to lose weight? Maybe you unconsciously feel that now that school is out, you deserve "treats." (I think I would!)

What program are you following to lose weight, by the way? Do you count calories? It could be that you need to follow a stricter accounting of what you're eating--not only to help you stay away from the fattening foods, but also to make sure you're getting enough to eat. It's OK to feel a little hungry now and then on a weight loss program, but you shouldn't find yourself really hungry--that's when it gets easy to give in to cravings.

Just remember, you're the one with the car keys. Unless someone is holding you down and forcing food into your mouth, you're the one in control!

Jay

If you are saying

"I can eat this because I'm doing so well"

its actually

"Darn, I am so uncomfortable with the idea of selfesteem and success, I'd better screw it up".

Why don't you want to succeed/be slimmer? Consciously, of course you wanna lose weight, and you are making great headway...but I think there's something else going on that has nothing to do with the food, and more to do with what you think you deserve (ie food, healthier body etc)...I don't know. Shot in the dark, but it was the case for me.

I know that feeling too. Ice cream is my favorite-- love love love it!!! But that little 1/2 cup for 2 or 4 points is so not worth it!! (I'm on WW)
But I also feel like you sometimes regarding the exercising... thinking... well, it must have burned calories, I can surely have a little treat....!!
I agree too that you can't NEVER eat it. Only in moderation.

And WW sells really big fudge bars, only one point. They are awesome! And I think Italian ices are 1 or 2 points. Find something you can have that satisfies.

Thanks to all for your responses! I like the idea of setting aside a specific day that I can have ice cream/Dairy Queen if I want it. I think I can manage that, and hopefully won't always want it when the day comes. But the problem isn't really one of feeling like I "deserve" a treat because I've been working out and eating well otherwise. CousinRockingChair, your shot in the dark hit pretty close. I've know for a l-o-n-g time that my overeating is all wrapped up in my emotions and negative, distorted thinking. I think what's going on has to do with losing that way of comforting myself. Ice cream isn't my only comfort food, but for months now it's been the most common one. I think that getting serious about exercising and beginning to change my eating habits for the better has sent me into a bit of a panic, afraid that I won't be able to comfort myself or numb out those difficult feelings, and then I'll actually have to feel my feelings all the time. So when I get too anxious about that, subconsciously, I get the ice cream. I need to find ways to remind myself to go hug a pillow and have a good cry if that's what I need, or hit the punching bag, or play the harp/piano, or something else that can help me find relief.

Hugs,
Barb

irishharper, at this point of the game, believe it or not, I actually find comfort from staying ON plan. Just knowing that I am treating myself with the respect that I deserve, taking care of myself, getting down and then staying at a healthy weight - that provides me with comfort. It didn't happen overnight, but eventually I have found that to be the case. That actually sticking to something wonderul is indeed comforting.

Ice cream is without a doubt my very favorite food. So therefore I completely avoid it. When you stop to think about it, it's not so very comforting at all to down an entire pint of ice cream. It just brings about MORE stress and more weight and it's just not so very comforting. It's not all it's cracked up to be in other words. It's just food. It's temporary and fixes nothing. Our good health, that is worth working for and indeed it's very comforting to know that you have done all you can to be the very best that you can be.

Ice cream... ahh, I LOVE ice cream! It's my favorite dessert and one of my absolute favorite foods.

You don't need to completely avoid ice cream to lose weight. I still eat ice cream every now and then - cutting it out completely from my diet would make me crazy. I think it's difficult to cut something you love so much from your diet, so my advice is eat it - just don't binge. And you have no need to feel like you're "cheating" just because you broke the typical dietary standards; I used to place these kinds of guilt trips on myself all the time, and they just made me binge on everything I "couldn't have".

I know portion control can be really difficult and that for some, cutting fattening things out of their diet entirely is the only way to go, but I've found that it makes ME crazy!

The idea of picking one day a week to treat yourself is ideal. It's difficult to find a balance between sticking to your diet and not depriving yourself.

when I want an ice cream fix, I get a cone from McDonalds.. they are low-fat, and I think they are 130 calories.. and yummy!

Build it into the plan...it is the only way.

And I also prefer going to an ice cream shop/restaurant and just getting a scoop rather than having an entire pint at home

Mmmm... ice cream! I get my ice cream fix now by having a Klondike Slim-A-Bear ice cream sandwich, 100 calories. They are very tasty! I have one most days of the week, and it's a real treat that fits easily into my diet.

For me, I got over that attitude you were talking about - the "I'm doing so well I deserve a treat!" attitude - by focusing on how much pleasure I get out of staying on plan and achieving goals. I also have learned that if I'm off plan for a day, it makes it so much HARDER to get back on plan. It's just not worth it!

Lots of great advices -- from I can read & tell, I guess this is another one of those "whatever that floats your boat" solutions. Some folks here prefer to just abstain completely, others budget their daily calories around it, some let the craving sit a day or two and see if they still really want it, etc. All seem to be reasonable and, again, there is no one-answer-fits-all here, so do whatever that seems to mesh well with your personality while allowing you to stay on-plan (or not stride too far off).

It's different for many people. I don't think ice cream is poison of any sort, neither to my efforts, my esteem or success. It's okay to feel the comfort of a food you've grown up with and longed for in times of need. Its not self-destructive so as long as one doesn't plummet to the "oh-my-god, I-wrecked-myself-silly-by-eating-one-whole-scoop-I-might-as-well-have-another" sort of thing. In my opinion, it's much better than a self-restriction diet which offers no flexibility on top of a sense of control when eating. It's easy to say "no" to foods altogether. The real sense of control comes in moderation. There are people who will disagree with me altogether and claim that they can't have certain foods at all (There are ladies on the forum that will not touch certain things, and when in contact with certain junk foods, will pour detergent over the foods. To me, thats a waste of my detergent and I could never do that, on top of not being able to trust myself that I won't go for a second serving. Personally, I deserve more than an authoritative voice in my head because it'll make me compulsive. Why not just act on intuition?)

Just my opinion.

Oh, and has anyone had the no fat vanilla frozen yogurt from BR before? Excellent flavor, for just a 4 oz. scoop.