just reading someone else's post about fat made me think.

i work mainly with guys right? and no one ever comments about the fact that at least 60% of the guys i work with are overweight and i guess at least half of those are obese.

And yet, when it comes to a women who is overweight, everyone feels like it's their right to comment.

how is that fair?

Because guys are expected to be filthy pigs and we gals are supposed to be the eye candy. LOL (I'm waiting to hear EZ "weigh in" on that one Hehe)

Because we're a society of double standards? And/or because we sometimes bring things on ourselves even? IE: You also never hear a guy say "Does this make my butt look big?" So a guy doesn't WORRY about how he may look, for the most part. Like hair color. How many guys do you see coloring their hair as compared to girls? Its like we get one gray and...OMG!!! But most men don't care if they start going gray. Doesn't bother them. Yet the women run for the Clairol aisle. So when someone then comments on a gray on a woman, is it because they know she's constantly fussing with her hair and know its gonna bug her to say it? Or because she brought attention to it herself? Sometimes its hard to tell if its just the plain ole bias in society or if its us sabotaging ourselves.

It isn't fair, but we women don't help the situation because we're way more critical of ourselves and each other's bodies than men generally are. Quote from my friend:

"If a woman chooses to get naked in front of a straight man, he is not generally going to be standing there with a checklist going hmm, wobbly bit there, skinny bit there, boobs not equal, etc. If a woman chooses to get naked in front of a straight man he is generally just going to be VERY VERY HAPPY!"

I felt better all day.

I once had a guy here with a big beer belly comment that I was overweight. I just put my hand on his belly and said "oh my god, TWINS!!!"

Right now, we live in an era where the standard of beaty is an adolecent girl. Not fair for us, but then again, it`s better than the heroin chic of the mid nineties.

Standards for beauty change by culture and time. If this was ancient Greece you could be obese and your anorexic husband would come out and ask if the fig leaf makes his butt look big. I say point it out and laugh at it.

I don't think that men don't care whether they are overweight or going gray, etc. I think it's just that they don't obsess about it as much, or maybe it's that they're not "supposed" to obsess about it by society's standards so they have to keep quiet about it. Men want to look good too.

I think that mostly it's women putting the pressure on ourselves because of what we want and what we think the rest of society wants from us.

Excellent comeback

I get a kick out of the guys with the sticker in their picups "No Fat Chicks". these guys usually have a beer belly and dirty fingernails!

The feminist perspective on this is that weight obsession was manufactured so that women would be distracted and weaken themselves: if we're losing weight, we're taking up less space physically which is a metaphor for us taking up less space intellectually, emotionally, etc. If we're constantly thinking about planning meals, counting calories, agonizing over why we ate that bagel when we knew we "shouldn't have," we have less time to think of the things that actually matter in life and won't notice our oppression. Also, if we're hungry and weak from nutritional deficits we won't be as physically capable or mentally sharp, and will no longer be a threat.

(Of course, this is all concerning women who don't need to lose weight; obviously if someone's health is at risk weight loss is the right thing to do.)

Oh, it's not fair.
Not at all.

You women undoubtedly have it rougher than we (men) do.

Steve Shrinkarino

Good one! LOL

I once heard a 300 pound male coworker made a comment on how big another female coworker looked and I gave him a stare so cold that he probably would go into shock due to hypothermia.
Some guys obviously have not looked at themselves in the mirror for a long long time.

Unfortunately, though, it works both ways. I know a lot of women who are very judgemental about larger men. For example, one very large woman dumped my cousin and told him to call her when he lost some weight. Hypocrite.

It seems to be more common -- or almost socially acceptable? -- the other way around, though. Either way, it sucks.