Too much emotional hurt so I'm finding it hard to take care of myself
For the last three days I was so darn happy because I haven't binged and lost two lbs. But today there was a big argument in my house and at school I felt so out of place that i came home today and stuffed my face to the point where i felt like exploding. I ate tow bags of sun chips, stuffed my face with bread with a load of cream cheese, ate 4 tbsp of peanut butter, 3 big bowls of cereal, and drank a can of pop...all in one sitting...I know so gross!! I just want to make the pain and stress go away by shutting myself out from the world. My entire 18-19 years of existance has been this way. When I feel this sad I feel like it's never going to end...and it never does because it happens again. I'm trapped in a maze.
Oh - a little addition - I grew up in a VERY volatile home, too. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
Trust yourself that you can carry this on. Maybe don't weigh yourself tomorrow... drink lots of water and check in again with the scale in a couple of days. Because if the sodium from the Sun Chips retains water and the scale shows it tomorrow, you are going to feel baaaad.
Remember - one slip does not ruin your long term plan!!
I agree. One slip does not have to ruin the whole big picture. We have all had slips. If we didn't we wouldn't be human.
I think the trick with sticking to it is admitting it was a slip, admitting you are human, and going forward from here. It's a bump in the road. Don't let it shake you up too much. (The eating part.)
Also I think you need to try to experience the feelings and emotions you are having about the fight instead of hiding from them. If you can learn to do this (which is what I'm working on) then there will be no reason to turn to food anymore.
When things are a bit calmer, could you make a list of some things that you could do besides eating when you are sad/stressed out etc.? You would then have your written list handy whenever you needed it.
In Dr. Stephen Gullo's book The Thin Commandmants Diet, he talks about emotional eating and says that we should never let any person, any situation, any circumstance force us to put even one bite of food in our mouth. Food doesn't help us de-stress, and it won't take pain away either. What we are left with is a plan that simply doesn't work AND we end up feeling even WORSE because we now feel guilty because we ate so much FOOD!
My husband came from a very bad home situation. At one point he had to defend his mother as his dad went after her with a knife. Alcoholism made his dad do things he never would do when sober! My husband refuses to drink alcohol because he saw what it did to his family. He got out and on his own early. He'd spend a lot of time with his friends and moved out completely at 18. He saw a lot at an early age, but he is strong and capable because he learned a great deal from his tough experience. Hardly anything throws him. You will be fine, too. Just don't let yourself down by harming yourself through food. Food isn't your answer.
Is there someone you trust in your family who will be a help to you at these times? If not, seek help elsewhere. As a previous poster said, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
I agree completely with what the others have stated - one slip is not worth chucking everything away for. Think of other situations in life where one lapse in judgement can occur and remember, we always pick ourselves up again!
Like - you're on the freeway, driving to visit your folks for Christmas. Ooops, you miss your exit. Do you think, "eff this, I may as well just go home!" Of course you don't! You just keep driving and take the next possible exit.
Or (don't remember which person on 3FC first posted this), you're walking up the stairs. You slip and half-trip on a stair. Do you think, "damn, this isn't working" and throw yourself down the stairs? No way! Stand up, dust yourself off and keep going.
Basically, aim for progress (which you are achieving) not perfection! Forgive yourself NOW because guilt only traps you further into that destructive cycle and it WON'T help you move on.
Thankyou everyone for giving me advice, sharing your experiences and making me feel a lot more at ease because you reminded me that I have to get back on the path of taking care of myself. You are all very right that I should not let my slipups ruin the next day again or make me feel any worse. Food does not make me feel better but it makes me feel "full" when I'm feeling sad...it's like it fills this...void...but at the same time I feel this tinge of digust. In the moment of stress I remember that I need to take care of myself but the urge to eat becomes powerful and I go on a food rampage. I have never tried not binging after a stressful situation. I guess I was just afraid that things would get worse if I did not eat...I know silly...isn't it?
Todays a new day: I'm going to reflect on what you all wrote to me when I feel any emotional uncomfort and use that so that I don't binge.
Last edited by Iwant2bethin; 04-13-2007 at 04:42 AM.
ive had a similar situation this week. I havent felt so emotionally hurt and abused in years. Still Ive cried about it all i can and decided to jump back on the horse as it seems to be my way out of the situation.
Glad the comments helped you! Stay strong, and keep caring about yourself and your own needs. It WILL be OK!
Hi 100py!
I'm sorry that you are having a rough time of it! Here's a big hug! It's hard to be losing weight and dealing with emotional things at the same time! Congratulations, though, on your weight loss!! You've done GREAT!!!
Hi 100py iv replied to you on another thread but anyway take the advice given on here its sound advice,by the way I live in Hereford too,wow you have lost so much weight,you are an inspiration to us all.
love flowerfairy
time2bethin, I admire you for your eloquence, for you ability to put your thoughts and feelings into words : ) and to share your experiences in such a forthright manner! I too, as I am sure many many of us have, if not most, have hit those bumpy roads along this journey. I so agree with the others, don't beat yourself up for it hun, it happens sometimes. Tomorrow is a new day. I was going strong all week long and then bam, I sidetracked. why? the weather? depression? Someone said here about how we fight and work hard on this journey and when something comes our way, sure it just makes it more of a battle. I don't think your silly at all, look at me! sidetracking because of the menial weather! lol I often used food as comfort or to fill a void, I don't think it's silly, as a matter of fact........I think it's super that you are so aware of your triggers. I went out yesterday and bought some things. I was trying to think of things to keep me busy or get me through , what for me is a tough spot. I bought books, many of them health or diet related, and even a puzzle!
CHeryl, I cannot beleive you mentioned that book!!!!!!!! I bought it yesterday! I came across it yesterday. I read through quite a bit of it last night but have a ways to go and am even thinking of doing the 10 day turbo diet thing for a change. That's wild! : )
THe comfort of food is so momentary and short lived, the awful feeling after is far greater. I so agree, I am putting plans in place for when I get that feeling.........my books, puzzles, etc. etc. TOmorrow is a new day indeed : ) LEt's keep on truckin! : )
Too much emotional hurt so I'm finding it hard to take care of myself
