Leaving
 

Not sure if this is the right place.

I'm leaving here because I am an over anxious obsessive person who has been worried about dieting for 2-3 years and can't live anymore outside of dieting and trying to lose weight.

So I'm going to stop coming here and stop lurking and worrying over cals/how much weight I lose/etc.

From now on I'm weighing once a month and eating only when I'm hungry...and until I'm satisfied.

I'm going to do things I want instead of worry and I'm going to start living instead of hiding.

Thank you to everyone who has been supportive. Should I find myself skinny one day, I'll come back and post in the Goal section. =) You all are wonderful people and very supportive, and I wish I didn't have to be so obsessive so I could stay.

I hope all of you are able to worry a little less about those days you mess up and start leading a simple eating lifestyle and start living.

May we all be skinny and enjoying ourselves with a healthier life!

Gamerchick, I'm sorry to see this. I hope you'll come back and visit from time to time! Good luck to you... I hope you find your way.

Jay

Hi Gamerchick!

I wish you well and hope that you will find what you need in your new plan. Good Luck to you, sweetie!:hug:

Cheryl

I'll come back in once a month, on the 1st, and tell you guys my weight and how I'm doing.

I just want to stop worrying.

Hey-
I know how you feel. I am a worrier myself.

Go out and live a little. It makes you feel good and I have found that when I am happy and doing what I really want I don't OBSESS about food. I have other things that fill me up and I lose weight.

THe last time I had significant weight loss I was working in disaster services in the aftermath of several tornadoes and hurricanes Katrina, Rita, and Wilma. I was really doing something and making a difference in the lives of others. I lost 35 lbs in about 3 months.

Good luck to you in your life and in your weight loss journey.

Don't forget how much you can help others. When you peek back, keep an eye out for folks like you. You'll be able to help them.

I'll be sorry to see you go. You of course have to do what you think is best for yourself. First and foremost. I wish you the best of luck. Keep in touch.

Please do let us know how you are doing. Do whatever is best for you.

I understand how you feel. I started counting calories a while ago and realized that wasn't right for me. I too want to remain healthy and not let food be a focal point of my life. Everyone has a different way of doing things so be true to yourself. I decided to stop counting calories and that has been good for me so far since I'm a binge eater and found a high calorie day would start me on a binge.

Stay positive and let us know how things are going from time to time if you like.

I can relate, too, Gamerchick - have my own little tendencies to worry and obsess. This weight management thing is a journey for all of us, and only you can decide what is going to meet your needs. I do agree - living your life and being happy with yourself will definitely help with the weight management. Good luck to you!

Different things work for different people. I didn't join here until I'd lost most of my weight. I even had a co-worker tried to interest me in a weight-loss challenge, and I just didn't wanna go for that. I'm not a competive person, nor do I seek support in something. I kinda like to go it my own way. I like giving support, just not very receptive to it myself. I work better alone I guess. Some people though thrive on the support and need it, it works for them. So we all have to choose what works best for us. Good luck.

I totally understand. I'm glad you are doing what you feel is best for you :) I hope this helps and you feel better ;)

Good luck, I wish you all the best :) And if you're feeling more comfortable in the future, be sure to pop in and say hi :)

Good luck and make sure you come back and visit! :hug:

Hi dear, I've certainly enjoyed your posts so you'll be missed. While everyone must do what they feel is best for them, we don't all have to agree that someone's plan is the best. Deciding not to come to 3FC if you find yourself obsessed and this ads to that, then fine. However, I do believe you're over 200 lbs if I'm remembering correctly. Sorry if I'm misremembering. But because of that high unhealthy weight (especially for someone so young whose metabolism should not be slowing down yet like us "old ladies" LOL), I simply don't think you have the luxury to not focus heavily on losing weight like say Janie or Bikini Dreader above. They're a few pounds overweight so if they don't want to obsess, maybe they can't shoot for the bathing suit issue of Sports Illustrated, but they're health will not really be comprised. Your situation is different. I'd hate to see you not focus, eat whatever you want whenever you want, and come back here as an adult even heavier. Sorry if I'm a total downer, but I do believe getting your weight down and under control should be a major focus for you and if you can get it down and learn how to maintain, then you can stop focusing so hard. Now I dont mean you need to get anxious and beat yourself up in the process, absolutely not! Self-hatred and anxiety never helped anybody, but I just dont think its possible to lose weight if you just sort of watch what you eat and "only eat when hungry" and until "satisfied". Clearly you're not one of those to naturally and without focus eat only when hungry or only til satisfied (only the natural "thinnies" of the world have this trick on lock; the rest of us must be ever vigilent most of the time), so not sure how great this will work for you. There's gotta be some happy medium?

In the end its up to you darling, just putting in my 2 cents. And maybe my worries for you come from years of struggling to maintain a healthy weight before I gained my "baby weight". Its not easy, and I could never really lose focus for long without gaining, but keeping my weight down is obviously so worth the effort. Again, minus the "beating oneself up", which I've done in the past and am vowing not to continue.

I hope you find the balance you are looking for. Please come back to visit!

-signed, a fellow gamer ;)

I think we need Wyllen (Heather) to come and explain the difference between obsession and dedication again.

Claudia's post got me to thinkin' ... I used to say that if you're going to be obsessed about anything, it might as well be good health. I thought I was only half kidding.

How about this thread?

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68059

SuB, that IS an interesting post by Meg re maintaining. I think the degree with which you must "obsess" (i.e. count calories, turn down "bad" foods, exercise) depends on the results you're after. If you want to live life with not a single spare pound of fat, then you must be EXTRAORDINARILY vigilant bordering on the obsessive (as some choose to call it). If you're happy being a healthy weight but you may have some "problem areas" that dont look so great but dont really affect your health overall, then you can be much less vigilant and less austere (i.e. you can eat "bad" things within MODERATION, you must still exercise but it need not be for hours at a time nor every single day). However, I will agree with Meg that you will ALWAYS need to be vigilant to some degree if you want to fend off obesity for good.

Oi for OC tendencies ... I just spent over two hours researching it. I'd say that was detrimental, yup.

Yes, Claudia, we must always keep our goals, and our steps to achieve them, personal. My journey and intent simply cannot be the same as someone who intends to be a fitness model nor the fella who has to lose weight before he can have a hip replacement.

This thread is really thought-provoking. Claudia's post really hit home with me. I think she's absolutely right. It would be great not to have to think about calories -- we'd all love that -- but if we have a problem with overeating, we simply have to focus on it. I tried intuitive eating several times and I love the idea of it but I simply wasn't ready to go there. I needed structure to get me where I need to be, and I'm still working on that.

Sometimes I think this has become an obsession, but honestly it kind of had to. I got to the point where I either kept eating mindlessly or I changed my life completely. This obsession has taken the place of that mindless eating. And thank God.

I'm a bit on the fence about this too. I'm glad that you're developing a mentality of living life beyond just food & dieting, but I also kind of agree with Mami's comments that if you're trying to lose weight, monitoring food and activity levels is just something you have to do with some sort of dedication (w/o necessarily being obsessed) since it's especially hard to be held accountable and figure out what needs adjustment if one is not logging what he/she is eating or doing. I can't even remember what I ate a few days ago, so I can hardly imagine how to fix my dietary & exercise habits just monitoring once a month.

As with mami, I don't intend to sound mean/scolding/nagging, but just putting my two-cents worth. But best of luck in your journey and lookn forward to your future progress and posts, however frequent or occasional they may be.

It is hard to juggle a lot of things. I know that, gamerchick, and I know from your posts that you have some challenges at home and are working on spreading your wings. There are seasons in our lives and I hope that someday you will come back and share with us your newfound independence. The future is bright for you and someday you will achieve all of your goals.

(gee, how many cliches can I pack into one post?)

Ok, dedication and true obsession (to the point to DSM-IV diagnosis level) are totally different things.
If it is just a matter of deciation, then I would say that I think that everyone should be dedicated to their healthy lifestyles, that goes without saying.
BUT, if gamerchick is actually suffering from a true and dehibilitating obsession, then it is probably best for her not to overly focus on calories or weight, numbers in general, but on a quest for overall health in as moderate a way as possible, and with this will come slow but gradual weight loss. If, though, gamerchick, you think that coming to this site is unhealthy for you because it triggers obessive tendencies then I would say, vaya con Dios, but please get some help and try and work on getting healthy in body and mind, and not just getting slim.
I wish you all the best. :)

good point susan : ) gamerchick, good luck in your quest. Maybe you just need some time out right now from the calorie counting and also to just take some time to focus on yourself mentally. I don't plug in or write my cals down though at a young age I was a calorie counter and pretty much memorized everything so in addition to that, reading labels, etc. I have a very good idea how much I consume in a day. I map out my meals 2 days in advance and this really helps me so much and helps keep me from straying. Not having anything in the house except for on plan stuff really helps me too but I am sure you have heard much of this from the wonderful ladies here.

Before I began my plan, I worked on my mind and on myslef mentally. (still do). I feel this is key and if I am not mistaken it sounds like you need to take some time foryourself to regroup. : ) you mentioned not wanting to hide anymore and wanting to start living! In regards to the above mentioned, may I offer a few suggestions? things which helped me. Think about making goals or setting dates (only one step a t ime though) for getting out there again. NO matter how small or large, as long as it's something you enjoy and with those close to you that you are comfortable with and enjoy. For example, I started planning something say for a weekend night or whenever, it could be maybe to have a fun get together with a person I hadn't seen in a long time.....having a couple over, etc. etc. you know what I mean, things of enjoyment that maybe at one time you used to do and havn't maybe done in a while. It could even mean getting out there on the road or park and start walking. I so highly recommend it, it so wonderful for the spirit. Though, we all enjoy different things and it doesnt matter what it is , as long as you enjoy it. I feel just these things in themseleves will help very much, it did me and due to the spiritual lift, etc. Just getting out there more this way helped me to stay positive and fight the demons of negativity. ALong your journey, remember that each day is a new day. If you have a bad day , when you wake up in the morning....give that bad day a kick in the butt. Say bye bye bad day, your history! Oh my goodness, I am carrying on and I am so tired tonight so I hope I was able to get across that which I intended. good luck to you, you CAN do this.......:)

Gosh, Mami, that was a good post. I have nothing to add, but had to post after having read that. I agree totally. Your insight was helpful to me, too!

Thanks slashnl, very kind of you!