Confession : Sometimes eating really does make me feel better.
This has been a bad day and a half. Yesterday, we met with a CPA for our small businesss..we owe taxes..in a big way. *ugh* And I enter some things wrong in quickbooks and I will have redo a bunch of the work that I did. *double ugh* Then we got in a shipment of instruments (we run a gemological shop) from China...17 out of 25 are useless. We have customers who are not going to be happy campers. We are not happy campers. And when the factory finally understands what we are trying to say..they are not going to be happy campers.
A few weeks ago I had to take my cat to the vet to have an abcess drained. We though everything was fine. Yesterday we noticed it was starting to bulge out again. Take him to the vet today..he has to have more surgery and they think it's probably cancer in his muscle. I love my kitty.. he is the sweetest furriest black kitty. I think I will go change my avatar to his pic after I finish this. I don't even want to think about the vet bill tomorrow.
And.. I started my period a week early today.
Now I know...there are worse days! And I know that someone is about to tell me how their day is worse or how someones day in some part of the world is ALWAYS worse. And I know this.. and I count my blessings.. I really do. But sometimes, we just need a little comfort anyway. Since my dh is just as stressed out as I am, it wasn't coming in that direction. Most of my friends and family don't get the whole small business thing.. they just think I stay home and watch soaps and eat bon bons. (Why they think this when they know I work on Christmas and New Years...I don't know. I think just don't want to lose that whole work from home fantasy lol)
I admit it...I was weak. I turned to McDonalds..salty horrible terrible no good comfort food. First fast food I have had in weeks and weeks...and then it was due to traveling. And then... I had a cup of mocha ice cream (at least it was low fat ice cream lol)
And the really really bad part is.... it was GOOD. And I DO feel better. And I don't even feel guilty about it. Shouldn't I feel guilty? Shouldn't I be sorry?? Shouldn't it have made me feel horrible? What's wrong with me??

I have the same problem sometimes. I give myself permission to not feel guilty because that always makes the cravings worse. If I give myself permission then I can go on to the next day without all the guilt (which in turn makes me want to eat more).
but we can get through it, and we can only come out shining on the other side.. right!!!