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Old 03-14-2007, 07:54 PM   #1  
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Thumbs down This is why I don't try!

I am not having a good week. Stress at work, stress at home. So I reward myself with 2 trips to Dairy Queen in 2 days. I feel better AS I'm eating it then hate myself for days afterward. I cannot get back in the groove. I look at thin people everywhere I go and think that I will never be able to do that, look like that again. I wonder what it must feel like to be thin and live that way. It feels impossible. Why try?
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Old 03-14-2007, 08:06 PM   #2  
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Post Don't give up Lisa

Hello Lisa

We all have our bad binge weeks.Weight management is not perfect.There are days I do good and other days I go to Dairy Queen and eat a large blizzard.But hey...I start over again the next day.I tell myself that today will be a no-binge day.I eat good things and I reward myself by renting a movie or calling a friend.

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Old 03-14-2007, 08:08 PM   #3  
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Why try? Because it's the only thing - the ONLY thing - that will get you to where you want to be. Without trying, all that's left is gaining more weight and feeling more and more miserable. Without trying, there's no hope.

Losing weight has to be one of the hardest things to do. I used to always give in when emotion hit - and suffered the inevitable guilt and shame for days afterwards. I don't know what changed, exactly - just that something did. I just saw clearly one day that, if I wanted it bad enough, I would do whatever it took - WHATEVER it took - to make it happen. I could sit in my car, eating french fries and wishing I was thin, or I could choose to put the french fries down and make a better choice. I worked really hard on breaking the cycle of eating when I was stressed - I'm not perfect, by any means, and will still sometimes eat when things are bad. What's different now, though, is what I eat. It finally sank in that the "comfort" I got from fatty foods was short-lived, and ultimately added to my stress even more. It sank in that I was doing it to myself - no one but me was making those bad choices. I'm not at the end of my journey yet, but farther along than I ever would have dreamed possible when I started...it IS possible, but you have to really, really want it. More than you want the food you crave when the going gets tough.

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Old 03-14-2007, 08:12 PM   #4  
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I'm eating ice cream right now. We can. One bad day ... even two bad days in a row cannot ruin everything. You just have to be good more often than not. Practice, practice, practice ... stick with us!
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Old 03-14-2007, 08:16 PM   #5  
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I went to Dairy Queen today also. My kids were off of school because the teachers are on strike. I promised I would take them after I got home from work. I tried not to over do it there. Grilled Chicken sandwich and a small vanilla cone, not dipped . I really would have rather had a flamethrower burger, man those things smelled good, along with a blizard. I have been good the rest of the day...well so far. Don't feel to down about it. We all do it. It is important for us not to get down on ourselves for being human. Remember not to give up!
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Old 03-14-2007, 08:24 PM   #6  
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Sometimes we try so hard to be perfect that we sabotage ourselves mentally. What did you eat at Dairy Queen? Write it down. Own it. Move on. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to have more good days than bad days. And you don't have to do it all right all at once. Pick one or two things to work on. Then another.
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Old 03-14-2007, 08:36 PM   #7  
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I think anyone who's been on more than one diet, has been there. Why bother? If I can't be perfectly good, I might as well be perfectly horrible! If I can't lose the weight I have left, the 75 plus lbs 'veI already lost have meant nothing! I might as well quit, even if it means gaining it back and then some (I've done this twice, and smaller amounts many times over).

It's all lies, we tell ourselves because part of us wants to quit. And the biggest reason is because we beat ourselves up so badly when we make a mistake, we OF COURSE want to stop doing what is making us feel so horrible. But the thing we can stop doing is beating ourselves up, not making healthy changes.

Think about it, we don't do this with other changes we want to make in my life. Oops, I forgot to brush my teeth this morning, well why do I try, I'm never going to brush my teeth again. The house is a mess. Keeping the house clean is just too much work, I'm never going to dust, sweep, or do dishes ever again - it's just not worth it.

You see what I mean. Losing weight, exercising, getting healthy are difficult changes to make, and most of us are far too inpatient with ourselves trying to get there. We've made the steps SOOOOO high, that we give up before we can possibly reach the goal. Lower your steps! Be proud of every accomplishment, and stop using the scale as your only measure of success, and remember that maintaining your weight is as much success as losing it sometimes.
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Old 03-14-2007, 08:55 PM   #8  
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You guys are just wonderful!!!!. I mean, today I had turkey and stuffing. And I know... what are you eating turkey and stuffing for when it not the holiday?

Well, my refrigerator was totally empty and the only thing to eat was Turkey and stuffing. I actually thought about just staving and not eating a thing. But, my husband suggested and then demanded that I cook what we had..

I really went crazy eating on the turkey and stuffing. But I realize, It important not to hurt myself because of one bad day.. It sinking in, I'm not perfect, I will find myself in these situation but don't give up. Thanks
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Old 03-14-2007, 09:07 PM   #9  
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The house is a mess. Keeping the house clean is just too much work, I'm never going to dust, sweep, or do dishes ever again - it's just not worth it.

OK! I'm with you on that one

Stress is everywhere, most of the time. Did eating solve problem which caused the stress or just add more stress in the long run because you feel bad physically and emotionally? We've all done it- that's why we are here But sooner or later, you'll own up to it and realize that YOU control what goes in your mouth. Very few people are skinny naturally. Yes, there are some genetic freaks who can seemingly eat thousands of calories of junk and stay thin, but they aren't necessarily healthy. And they are few and far between. You don't know if that "thin" person carefully watches what she eats 98% of the time and this is her big splurge AND she's at the gym every morning.

Put the week, day, behind you. It's done, and right now is your fresh start. Think of a stress buster ahead of time- tell yourself what you are going to do, write it down, tape it on the dashboard of your car, your bathroom mirror, your computer. Practice it. Then when you need it, it's there. It doesn't have to be anything major- I have a private journal I write in only for me. I knit scarves to keep my hands busy if I'm at home and food is calling me. I have a friend who folds origami swans when her 17 year old son infuriates her to where she would eat a gallon of ice cream or drink a bottle of wine. Little coping tricks make a big difference.

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Old 03-14-2007, 09:38 PM   #10  
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Originally Posted by LookingForHope View Post
I am not having a good week. Stress at work, stress at home. So I reward myself with 2 trips to Dairy Queen in 2 days. I feel better AS I'm eating it then hate myself for days afterward. I cannot get back in the groove. I look at thin people everywhere I go and think that I will never be able to do that, look like that again.
Yes you can!!!!!

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Old 03-14-2007, 10:03 PM   #11  
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Default Thank you!

I have sat here and read all your replies over and over. Your words give me strength. I think I was having a bit of a pity party and maybe looking for an excuse to quit because it's easier. But I want a better life. I want to look better. I want to be healthier. I am often guilty of being a bit of a loner and it can backfire when you're feeling weak willed. And I'm a bit of a perfectionist and hate to fail, so it's easier not to try, right? Not! So much of what you said was so completely right that I felt like you saw right through me. Maybe it's because there are so many things we have in common in this struggle. I'm glad I have you all to reach out to. Thanks for being here.
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Old 03-14-2007, 10:07 PM   #12  
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You CAN do this. You know how I know? Because just look around you here at 3FC. So many have already done it and soo many more are still doing it. It IS doable. You are no different then them. We all have a story, very similar to yours in fact. You just have to make the DECISION to do it. You have to decide once and for all that the food doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is being healthy and fit and happy. That you want to live a happier and healthier and more productive existience. Everything you've done in the past is simply not relevant. What you do from here on is. Get some good habits in place. Coping mechanisims, alternatives to eating, healthy food in the house, junk food out of the house, make better choices at each and every single meal. And snack. Think about everything that you are about to put in your mouth. Will it get you closer to your goals. Make a plan. Set yourself up for success. Write down all your goals and dreams, keep on adding to it. What would you do if you lost the weight? How would your life be different? How would it improve? How badly do you want this?
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Old 03-14-2007, 10:09 PM   #13  
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Ahh, we posted at the same time Lisa. You sound better all ready. This is a great place, isn't it? We're here for you 24/7. Good luck to you. And don't ever forget that you absolutely, positively CAN do this.
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Old 03-14-2007, 10:13 PM   #14  
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I think we all also tend to "punish" ourselves with our diet and exercise plans.
We focus on what we can't eat anymore, and how tired and sore and boring our chosen exercise is, and how we "can't" eat the things we enjoy. I mean, we talk ourselves out of it, before we barely begin.

Trying to change my mindset, and consider my program one of pampering myself rather than deprivation makes all the difference for me. It's like I've decided that it is my new "job" to create a spa atmosphere for myself whenever I can. Finding and making healthy "treats" and eating healthy food that feels like indulgent "spa cuisine" rather than like fasting on plain celery sticks, makes passing up the "old treats" a lot more palatable.

Tonight I had an intense craving for something sweet, cold, and creamy. My first thought of course, was ice cream. And if I had wanted to go out for a small cone, it wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world, however, I'm not feeling all that great (recoverying from pneumonia - at least they think it might be pneumonia, or it might be bronchitis and scar tissue from years of chronic bronchitis).

Anyway, we did have frozen strawberries in the freezer, so I put them in the food processor with a little lemon juice. Sometimes I add a little Mountain Dew instead of or with the lemon juice. After processing it in the food processor or blender, I put it in a bowl, and stir in some Splenda and maybe some milk (if I want "ice cream" - tonight I didn't add milk so I had "sorbet" If I want a virgin cocktail I'll put the frozen puree in a fancy glass and add more Mountain Dew for a virgin daquiri)

It was so good, and definitely satisfied my craving for sweet, cold, and creamy. You really have to taste it before you add sweetener though, because even though the berries are unsweetened (important not to pick the frozen berries in sugar) it still often doesn't need any additional sweetener, especially if you use diet soda as your mixer.

I have TONS of decadent "diet" recipes, that make me feel like I am being pampered instead of deprived. Some of them do require a little work or preparation, but I also have quite a few that can be whipped up in less than five minutes, so I just have to keep the ingredients on hand.
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Old 03-14-2007, 10:36 PM   #15  
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Kaploids that is great. I've said so many times that in order for me to be successful I had to look at it as what I would be GAINING, not giving up. But I like how you put it as well - that you are pampering yourself. I like that a lot. I also agree that you must find foods that you love and will be just as tasty amd "treat" like as the old stuff. Your frozen strawberry concotion sounds marvelous. You have definitely set yourself up for success. So important. Anytime you want to hand down some more of those decadent recipes, we're here.
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