Alternative Group (OCT 30, 2001)
 

We are a group of non-traditional lifestyle individuals. We are partnered, single, widowed, Pagan, Atheist, Agnostic, Christian, Muslim, gay, bi-sexual, bi-colored and straight. We bask in our diversity and unite in the same goal of losing weight. If you are relatively open-minded and accepting of ALL walks of life, please join us.

Come out, come out where ever you are! I know some of you are lurking. I came out when you asked nicely, won't you do the same for me? :)

BF and I made up. His "friends" haven't called in 3 days. Smells fishy to me, but I am not gonna wait for the bad news, I am gonna just live happily that they aren't pestering us.

I took my measurements today. 8 pounds gone since the last time, but the only thing that was different is I lost 3 inches in my boobies! Now why couldn't the pounds come off my thighs or butt or tummy? Next measurements will be the day after Xmas.

My holiday goals...
...walk 3 times a week
...bike 3 times a week
...weights 3 times a week
...crunches 3 times a week
...cardio video 3 times a week

And some fun excersice 3 times a month (aqua class, volleyball or bowling or hiking or rollerblading) I will continue eatting following the mayo clinic's food pyramid. It is something I can live with.

I have 8 weeks till Xmas. Since I am celebrating Yule at home and Xmas w/ relatives...I think I should do good. I will be off work by mid month. My goal is to be 169. 14 pounds gone in 8 weeks. That is doable! I lost 7 pounds in 4 weeks. Why 169? That is no longer obese for my height and frame! I will only be severely over weight then. I am due for a pap smear about that time.

Hope you all stop in and say hi! ~flower

Hi Flower :) That's about all I have time for, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone here. I was up until 3:30 finishing my daughter's costume, so I'm REALLY tired and have to get to work. It's my anniversary today, so not sure if I'll have time tonight to catch up. Just wanted to say hi and sorry about how Chris was acting. I hope he's realized his mistake and is sincere. Give him a good slap upside his head for good measure, just in case. ;)

Happy Samhain!

Hey guys. I overslept this morning and I'm feeling pretty groggy. I have a truckload of typing to do when I get home from work, though, so I'd better wake my behind up.

I have an appointment with my doctor Friday morning; I took the day off work, too, so I can get caught up with studying. We'll see what she thinks my options are for jump-starting my weight loss a bit.

I always avoided aerobic or other home exercise videos b/c I have neighbors below me, but since these new people are so noisy (fell asleep to the sound of their TV blasting at midnight), maybe I'll just do it.

DD and I are back on the right track. I just pray she stays on the right track...everyone's worried about anthrax, but I'm more concerned about things she does that potentially endanger her...and I don't even know if she's going to school today, b/c last week someone had written a threatening message that they were going to harm people in the school on Halloween (scarier in a Columbine kind of way than a terrorist kind of way). I gave her the option.

Hey Flower, I knew you guys would work it out. Think of it this way: you're lucky it's just once in a while Chris goes off the deep end. Try living with my DH! He, of course, is being just wonderful now. I knew we'd be good friends if we didn't live together! Sometimes it makes me feel bad that I'm divorcing him, but fortunately I kept a journal, so I can go back and remind myself how bad things were.

OK, guys, I should run. Hope to hear from all of you soon!

I made my goal! I am officially 181 today. 9 pounds gone for October!!!!! (at midnight I was 179) I can't believe I actually made a goal! WF-happy anniversary! To my fellow Pagans-Happy Samhain. To everyone else, Happy Halloween!!!!!!

Happy Samhain! Everybody remember to watch for the full moon tonight---I woke up to its brightness this morning.
Flower, I'm glad you're feeling better about things. Ride that wave! Hey, I'd really love to read your journal but for some reason I can't get there--I get as far as Diaryland and I can't find you. Can you tell me what I'm overlooking? I'm sure it's something embarrassingly obvious! And congrats on meeting your goal and your new workout program sounds great!
I went to the market first thing this morning to stock up on all kinds of healthy eats so I'm all set. This is Day 13 for me!

:) Eydie

I just typed in http://audrirene.diaryland.com and found it okay. Try it again. Thanks for reading!

Thanks, Flower! I'm all caught up with your adventures now--That was fun! And, honor of honors, I've bookmarked you!
I really liked your ideas for getting more vegetables in--very creative. You're doing so good with the Mayo Clinic plan!:)

Eydie

CONGRATULATIONS FLOWER!!! Scared of you, girl! Great work! I'm glad the Mayo Clinic plan is working for you.

Thanks everyone. What are you all doing today? How come you haven't told us about the scary amounts of candy you've consumed? What? You didn't eat the candy? Not even a little piece? I haven't been that good. I have had under 100 calories, but that could easily jump to 1000 if I don't stop going into the kitchen! So I am putting it in the cabinet, not on the counter. Some doesn't tempt me, but butterfingers, and flavored tootsie rolls, now and laters... ENOUGH!!! No more candy!!!!!

I am so sleepy, probably has to do with SUGAR!!!! I gotta do some excersice today. Anything as long as it takes 20 minutes minimum. So, off the puter I go! See ya tomorrow!

Hey girls. Just taking a break from (endless) typing.

A friend of mine invited me to go hiking on Saturday ... all day, in a state park in NY state. I REALLY want to go, but I can only go if I get my paper done that's due Saturday. I could do the paper tomorrow, but only if I get all my typing done timely. We'll see what happens.

I see the doctor tomorrow morning. I'll let you know what she says.

Congrats, Flower!

Honestly, I will catch up here on the weekend.

My daughter is just getting worse....took her back to the doc last night and it's been (finally!) diagnosed as mono. She's completely miserable. Have to take her for the blood test today....and call and fight with the school when I tell them she'll be off for a couple more weeks.

Gotta run.

Wildfire-MONO-yuck! I haven't had the pleasure but known lots who have. I am sure it is as hard on you as it is on her. Take it easy and we'll chat when you have time!

Girls, I just don't know what to do for my daughter. She's in tears her throat hurts so much. She can't eat, it hurts to drink, and she just struggled to swallow a tiny little Advil pill, which is all I can give her. Antibiotics won't work on mono. I don't know if I told you all the whole thing here, I've been visiting so sporadically.

This started 13 days ago with a sore throat. After a couple of days it was obvious it wasn't just a cold, so we saw her doctor and she prescribed Penicillan. Five days of Penicillan later, Amanda was getting worse. Back to the doctor, who switched her to Keflex 4x a day, 500mg. That's a lot. Strep test was negative. 72 hours of Keflex later, she was even worse. Back to the doctor last night, who confirmed it was mono and told us to stop the antibiotics. There is nothing they can give her to help.

I'm fully stocked with soups, popsicles, jello, pudding, tea, orange pop....but it all hurts her. She's so miserable, and hates me for having to tell her she is just going to have to hang in there, rest, and hope she gets better quickly. I don't know what else I can do. I know if it were me, I'd be going insane.

Ruthie, how did you visit to the doctor go? Did you get your work done so you can go on that hike?

Goddess, are you still on that amazing streak of yours being OP?

Flower, you're doing so great! I'm proud of you!

Amyjo, where are you? And Lamorgan?

Oh, I wanted to share a quick and tasty recipe with you. It's been in our family for years, and I made it for dinner tonight. I thought, wow....I should share this with the girls..

Soya Chicken

1/4 cup soya sauce
1 cup pineapple juice drained from can of pineapple. (If you're a little short, top up with water.)
1 tsp. ginger
1/2 tsp. minced onion
1/4 tsp. garlic powder

( I sometimes use chopped onions and fresh garlic, depends on how energetic I am. )

Pour over chicken breasts (will do four), bake uncovered for 1 hour in a 350 degree oven, turning chicken occasionally. During last five minutes, add pineapple from can. Serve with rice. Makes great leftovers, too.

Wildfire ~ I have been lurking, it has been a long week. Sorry to hear about your daughter... Not to scare you or anything but to be on the cautious side, keep an eye on her tonsils- if she is having that hard of time swallowing, her tonsils are probably getting really large(if she still has them- if not ignore the following) that can compromise her airway- they can get to the point of closing her throat off and it doesn't need to get to that point :(... Just a suggestion, not telling you how to doctor but airway compromise is a huge issue and if they get too bad the Dr. will have to intervene. Mono is really hard to kick- I hope she gets over it really quickly, R an R is the best thing for it- Viral infections really stick because there isn't anything that you can take to help your body fight it off.

Flower ~ Girl you are doing so dang good! Found something that works, I am so glad for you. :) Keep it up!

Goddess ~ I really wish I could get back completely OP... I am almost there but it is taking some doing!

Ruthie ~ Did you get your stuff done so you can play Tomorrow? Dr. have good news?

I have been pretty good this week considering the fact there is about 8 pound of candy sitting on my table. I have had 4 Tootsie Rolls today.. that is my weakness, but 4 is not a huge deal and my sweet tooth is happy! I am down 2 pounds this week first time the scale has moved in that directions in over a months so I must be getting closer to being OP. I have a care plan to do so I have to run. This month is going to be killllller- we have a little over a month left in the semester and we have several major check-off's, tests out the yazoo and then finals. :( I have A's in all of my classes but one and in that class I have an 86- I really can't complain though with an 86 because out of 69 people there is only two persons with an A and they aren't high A's so.. I have to make at least a 94 on the the next two tests in that class to make an A.. Got to get there!!!! :) Will post sometime this weekend.

Hugs to you all,
Amy
176/144/130

Wildfire, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. Must be so painful for you too to see her in pain. The doctor has no idea how long it'll last? And, bless you, thru it all you send us this very tasty-sounding recipe! I'm gonna try it with tofu!

AmyJo--Good to "see" you again! Are you serious--8 pounds of candy!? Yikes, I would be all over it so I got mine out of the house!

I'm working on Day 16 today. You know, this takes planning! We're going out this morning to run errands and my husband says 'let's go to that coffee shop you like' and it was a sweet thought and I love going there but unfortunately it's not on my plan right now so I'm making our healthy lo-fat breakfast and coffee at home. Luckily, Garry's into it too. That's not to say we'll never go there again just not today!

My heart goes out to you, Wildfire. There's nothing worse than seeing your child suffer. Thank God, though, it's "just" mono and not a worse illness -- I would have been getting frantic after all that time of her not getting better! Is there no topical anesthetic, like a spray or liquid, she can use to dull the throat pain? Poor thing. I hope it resolves itself quickly. My sis had mono in high school, and although I was already moved out of the house when that happened, I know she was very sick for quite a while. Hang in there.

Hey Goddess, good for you sticking to your plan. You're lucky you have a supportive DH! You and Flower are my inspirations these days!

Amy, I'm in that final run for my semester, too. My school runs on a quarter system, so each quarter is only 10 weeks long -- talk about pressure! I have to do that paper today (no hiking for me, but it's raining anyways so I think they didn't go), then the next two weeks I have to get caught up and get ready for two final exams. Then I have a couple weeks break and then the winter quarter starts -- my next to last undergraduate quarter!! Yippee!! Good luck on all your final work.

OK, my doctor gave me the name of a place that does this program called Opti-Fast, which sounds vaguely familiar. It's a protein-sparing fast, which is what I was looking for. Patients also work with a team to ensure sustained weight loss. So I'll look into that. My doctor also told me that overweight is actually a secondary risk factor for heart disease, and that quitting smoking was the best thing I could do for myself. She ordered blood work to make sure my cholesterol and blood sugar are ok, and she stressed that exercise is the most important thing I can do for myself. And of course, lifestyle is more important than a weight-loss diet. I know that, of course, but if I could do this fast for a few weeks and lose even 20 lbs. I would feel better.

So....I need to be sure I make time every day to exercise. I have to prioritize that, even if I don't eat perfectly OP every day. So any support you guys can give me in that regard is much appreciated, as always.

Hello everyone. How was everyone's weekend? I am fine. Just tired. I complain and complain when Chris spends all his time with friends, but when he spends it all with me, I don't feel like I have had a weekend! I'm not complaining. We are getting alone wonderfully. His friends haven't called since that night. I find this very bizarre. But I am very thankful...

I applied for a new job over the internet today. It is for a new store that is opening in Vegas. The Great Indoors. I applied for a floral designer position and / or a visual merchandisor position. I am hoping I make it to the next level. I really need to have medical benifits. I need some dental work done and I am never gonna be able to afford it without insurance. I am barely making ends meet now. I recieved an email saying in a few days I would be asked to take a personality test over the internet.

I am a bit bored at work. I think it was a great job when I was a student, but I feel like a resentful secretary who can't climb the ladder. I could be responsible for so much more. It isn't challenging. I love my flexiblity and my boss is a great friend...but I need more. Plus, come Spring semester, I must commute across town. No more down the street job. I have also been thinking, if I don't make more money, I will never be able to retire. I have paid no taxes into SS for over 6 years. I need to start contributing to the economy and my retirement. I think dropping Cameron off at a rich friends home, is making me think I am just settleing. Aires personalities don't settle very well, we need adventure and change. Gotta spice it up!!!!

Flower ~ I knew I liked you for some reason and your right Aries doen't settle... All of my close female friends and my DH are all Aries (kind of weird but honestly they are) DH is April 7, and my three closest female friends are April 14, 15, and 16... Aries don't settle, when they love they love for life and lord knows don't make the mad :) ... But all of them that I know have no problem working their tale ends off to get what they want either, you will find your niche or it will find you!

Wildfire ~ How is your daughter?Hope she is feeling better! Let us know what's up...

Goddess ~ I still have 8 pound of candy give or take a piece or two. Since Wednesday I have had like 8 tootsie rolls and a pack of sugar babies- I consider that wonderful since this time last year I had eaten all of the tootsie rolls out of the candy before Halloween and then all of the tootsie rolls that the kids got when they trick or treated :lol: It isn't funny but this was about the time last year that I realized I was fat and my eating was out of control so I have come a long way!

Ruthie ~ Did you get your paper written? I have a care plan due tomorrow AM, I worked on it this afternoon it is ready I just have to recopy it so that it is legible (or maybe I shouldn't- if they can't read it then they can't grade it right ?) ;) Just kidding! I am so ready for this semester to end!!!!! I wish we were still on quarters here.. there aren't any schools here left on quarters.. they go by faster but they sure have to cram alot in the time that you are going.. our breaks are longer now too.. They are all 2 to 4 weeks where during quarters you got 2 weeks max.

Well guys, I am excited.. I dropped 4 pounds this week... I don't know how but the scales say it :) yippee Well I have got to study for a Pharm test so I will check in soon.

Hugs to you all,
Amy
176/142/130

Hello Everyone! Sorry I haven't been here. I've been so caught up in my course and the Samhain Festival I was co-ordinating. The festival went fine, it's over with and I can get on with my life again.

While the stress was mounting, the 2 weeks before the festival I found myself battling the need to eat comfort food. Compound that with having Halloween candy accessable, and no time to cook well.

The need to get on track completely is with me. If I wasn't walking 1.5 hours/day, I'd be gaining like crazy. Still feel trim, but want to get my eating back under control again...

Oh man - you'd think they'd have cured mono by now... It takes so long to recover from it. My nephew had a mild case in high school and didn't lose his school year, but I remember kids being off school for months when I was in high school.

Hope she feels better...

I have to write an assignment now. I'll be back soon, to post in the food journal area...

Lam

I am back to 182 this week. Actually the scale has been as high as 185 a few days ago. Last Wednesday it was 181. I know I didn't eat 3000+ extra calories this week. It will be off soon. I was so looking forward to the 170's tho! (nope the candy was noone close to that many calories!)

I finally did my belly dancing tape last night. I like it because I can do it barefoot. I may have wanted to start with a scultpting tape instead of a fat burning. I was so out of shape, and a huffing and puffing. I have no flexibility in my ankles. But this will change! They are so graceful. Which I am not. I was no dancer in any of my previous lives!!!!

Well, have a wonderful Monday and I am getting ready for work now! ~flower

Flower--sounds like things are a'churning with you. It'll be interesting to see where it all leads!
AmyJo--good to see you have that tootsie roll jones in control! We have a bowl of halloween candy at work and I tried a toffee-ish thing this morning and threw it away--wasn't that good. It's great to be at the point where you can be discriminating. I'm not giving out valuable stomach space to just anything!
Lamorgan--great to see you back! And looking forward to seeing you on the food journal thread--it's so helpful for staying on track.
Wildfire, How's your daughter? How are you?

I have the stomach flu. No one should feel this way unless they have consumed a lot of alcohol!

Hi Girls.

Amanda is about the same, which is positive in that she's not getting any worse. She is still coughing and vomiting and achey and her tonsils are swollen very badly, but at least she continues to try to eat inbetween running to the bathroom. I've warned her that getting dehydrated on top of it all will land her in the hospital with an IV, and she seems to understand. She's eating a lot of ice cubes, which help numb her throat as well.

I am rather tired tonight. Because of the swelling in her throat she is unable to close her jaw properly, and thus sleeps with her mouth open.....which leads to the loud freight-train type snoring....which is impossible to escape in this small apartment. So I spent most of the night trying to get back to sleep. :D

Thanks for asking.

Ruthie, did you find out more about the Opti-Fast program? It does sound vaguely familiar.

Flower, good luck with the job application. Have you eaten anything salty lately? You could be retaining water.

AMYJO!!!! Four pounds!!!! Congrats!

Lamorgan, good to see you! Yep, get back on track while the spirit's willing....that's half the battle!

Goddess, you are an inspiration! You're on quite a streak.

Oh, I will be inheriting another furface baby in the next few months. A large male butterscotch kitty named Buddy who currently is one of my sister's cats. She is moving and has four cats, total, and needs to find homes for them. The other three are females, and I think might be harder to acclimate to my own two cats. Buddy is a loveable, timid guy who purrs so loudly he whistles. *L* I am hoping that my own two will learn to get along with him, or at least accept the fact that he will be around for a while, possibly permanently. Yeah, wishful thinking isn't it? My daughter is also particularly fond of Buddy, and he is familiar with her from summer visits. I have a feeling he'll take to her when he arrives.

I have a goal. I am going to get through tomorrow OP. That's it, just one day. No biggie.

Have a wonderful tomorrow!

Hey guys. I had severe tooth pain starting Saturday morning, and finally got to my dentist yesterday afternoon. Turns out I had a cracked molar, and he sent me to an oral surgeon because he didn't think he could get me numb enough to extract it. After many shots of novocaine, the surgeon pulled it out without a problem. B/c of the pain, I didn't eat for most of yesterday -- just some broth and then a cup of mashed potatoes (low fat) later on at night. It still hurts, but nothing like it did before they pulled it!

WF, I hope DD is feeling better soon. Poor thing. Flower, I hope you're feeling better soon too! Lamorgan, good to hear from you again, and I'm glad you're doing well with your program. Amy, congrats on the 4 lbs.!! Goddess, LOL, I like the idea of "valuable stomach space" being a prized commodity! Great way to look at it.

I called one of the three places near me that offers the Opti Fast program, and my insurance company. Wow, you can't believe how expensive it is, and it's not covered by my insurance. So I have to make the decision if it's worth it. I also have to balance out the financial gain by my not buying groceries vs. the financial loss for what I'd be paying to this plan. I'm making a lot of money now on the p/t job (made $362 in the past week), so that would help offset the cost, but it's just a question of deciding if it's worth it, and if it isn't something I want to do b/c I'm too lazy to just follow a program. I know I'm guilty of a form of extreme thinking in that I'm dividing my life between "before I quit my job and become a full-time grad student" and after that. I want to lose weight before I do all that. At any rate, I'm definitely leaning toward doing it, but I think what I need to do is set a maximum amount I'm willing to spend on it, and promise myself to stop when I reach that amount, no matter how much weight I've lost. The other question, of course, is how long I can endure an 800-calorie/day liquid fast. But it just feels like what I need right now: a rapid weight loss program where I'd have short-term deprivation instead of months and months and months of reduced food intake, the latter of which obviously isn't working for me anyway. I also feel that, although this program provides education in nutrition and exercise and healthy living, I already know about all those topics, and I'm very unlikely -- extremely unlikely -- to gain the weight back. In fact, I will NEVER gain back this much weight again. The only other time I was ever significantly heavy was when I was pregnant. I'm not normally a fat person.

Well, thanks for listening to me ramble. I have been thinking a lot about this plan and I'm not sure yet what I'll decide. Clearly it's not a program for everyone; I just have to decide if I'm one of the people for whom it would spell success.

Good morning everyone! I worked all day yesterday and got my assignment in. Relief. Today I had a good start with my eating. I have hearty soup in the fridge, so I'll be able to make lunch and stay away from the children's leftovers. It's hard not to slide back into old habits as it starts to get colder out and food makes me feel so warm....

I couldn't help but giggle when Goddess mentioned how things were churning for Flower, and in the next post poor Flower was suffering the stomach flu! :( Hope your tummy has calmed down, Flower.
Take care all,
Lam

Discovered Skinny Sticks today! Ah bliss. The corn chips are 60 cal per cup.

:)

L

Day 20! My streak almost came to an end today when I was cutting up the 4 huge pans of fudge I made at work--The impulse to just eat up the little slivers that fall off the knife was pretty strong--watch out for that automatic eating! Got a good tip to share if you're in a food situation though: chew gum! Then it gives you time to reconsider as you're looking for a place to spit it out. I was chewing like a crazy woman! But I made it thru fudge-free!:)

Where is everyone?

Ruthie, how's the jaw after the tooth extraction? Was it cracked so badly that it couldn't be repaired? That's how all my problems started with my lower jaw. I cracked the front molar, and the efforts to repair and save the tooth have been ongoing for four years now. I have to get in for a root canal next, but have to come up with the $300 that my dental plan said they won't cover.

Oh, for some reason I'm relating Opti Fast to the program Oprah did all those years ago when she lost all that weight the first time. I'm probably wrong, though. I've actually had a rogue wandering thought in my head about maybe doing SlimeFest....er...Slim Fast ;) for a few weeks to jump start again. I've been distracted with Amanda being so sick.

Speaking of her, she's turned the corner remarkably quickly. She had more bloodwork done yesterday to make sure her WBC is falling, and to check something that looked odd with her liver on the last test. She is returning to school on Monday. She is down to 97 pounds :eek: and was told by her doctor to gain the weight back. She's 5'8", so even 104 (which she was before she got sick) is low.

Ok, Lamorgan, spill. What are skinny sticks and where did you buy them? We're in the same neck of the woods, so I'm interested. :)

Goddess...you are amazing. I could never cut 4 pans of fudge without eating a single crumb!

Flower, how's it going?

Come on, I was never any good at solitaire. :D

I am alive. I finally feel ok again. I pulled something in my back so no excersice but at least I can move around without feeling sick. I brought work home so I could keep my 3 day weekend, which now becomes a 4 day weekend thanks to Veterns Day.

I have been spending the last night trying to figure out my scanner. Driving me nuts!!!!!!

There really isn't much to report here. The job hasn't called, but it is still soon. They aren't opening for months. I have to figure out 2 birthday gifts for both my sisters by noon tommorrow. Fun!

I am up 2 pounds. Go figure. I fasted for 48 hours! Not my choice. And I am way down on calories. Guess it is all the carbs instead of fruits and veggies. The dry heeves has done a number on my tummy. Got heartburn big time. Trying to stay away from the fruit. Hopefully I will be back on track by the end of the weekend.

Take it easy friends and come and post. ~flower

Wildfire--I'm glad your daughter's doing better. From the way everyone was talking I thought she'd be down for a while!
And about my fudge 'victory', nobody's more surprised than I am, believe me!

Flower, I've missed seeing you on the food journal board. You're coming back, right?
Have I mentioned lately that I still read your web diary? It's fun eavesdropping on your life!

A couple of days ago at work someone said that they were going to start dieting so they could lose a few before the holidays started so they could really gorge themselves during Xmas!:eek: Does this strike anybody else as funny and really convuluted thinking? :dizzy:

Goddess-you are a friend! Yes, I'm coming back to the food journal. I don't eat my veggies if I don't post them. Haven't been on line a lot. I am feeling back to myself. Actually did my crunches last night. Will get a walk in to today. Slowly but surely, that scale will move again!!!!!

Well, I am off to Walmart to see if I can find the two perfect gifts for my sisters. Yes, Walmart isn't exactly birthday present palace, but that's about all open this early! :) One of my sis's requested something from there. So, both get a gift from walleyworld! Maybe a gift basket for the other. I am sure I can find enough to make a gift basket. Hum....

Oh, a personal question??? Do you all want to go eat when you have made a mistake. Not something like a test question but something like bouncing a check or cutting 50 yards of the wrong ribbon, or forgetting a bosses important file for a lecture? They aren't exactly terrible mistakes, just ones that you feel real stupid cause you know better. How do you just say, okay I made a goof and go on with it. I guess I am a perfectionist and I take it way personal. Gotta get past these kind of things!!!!

Flower- When I make a mistake or am embarrased, etc. I absolutely want to dive into food---just go off by myself and eat, and never anything healthy. It's like addicts who have to have a drink, drugs when things go wrong, I guess.
I'm getting better at noticing that first impulse [knock wood!]. The thing that's helped me more than I can say is knowing that I'm going to feel lousy if I binge. And I know this is going to sound huge and dramatic but when I can resist the impulse to eat impulsively I feel like I'm finally leaning to love myself---finally after 38 years!!!! :) And it feels pretty good! :lol: