I am going to SLAP my housemate. I'm thisclose right now. She is really pissing me off. She wanted Chinese last night, and I said thanks but I'm busy during dinnertime. She pouted, but left me alone. Turned out that my dinnertime engagement got canceled, so she got on me about it again. I said I wasn't in the mood and again, she pouted and let me be. A couple hours later, after I'd eaten my (healthy) dinner and was hanging out watching one of our favorite TV shows, she came downstairs all triumphant cause she'd finished her paper. Yay for her. She then said she needed sugar and was going to drive over to 7-11 and did I want anything? I said no thanks (hooray for developing willpower). She came back with a bar of Hershey's Cookies N Cream chocolate and a pack of Sour Patch candies, sat down, and cracked open the chocolate. Halfway through, she broke off a section and handed it to me, saying very scornfully "One piece won't kill you." I was within my cals for the day, and I do love that particular kind of candy bar, so I thanked her and had the piece, but turned down a second piece.
Then this evening, she IMed me asking what I was doing for dinner. I swear, my first thought was "Oh, no, here we go again." My intuition, it is good. Next thing was "I'm really craving chinese, and I wanna share it with you." Okay, that's great, except for a few things. One, I don't even want Chinese right now. I mean, I'd probably eat it if it was around, but it's not what I actually *want*. Two, I'm broke and can't afford to buy food out like that all the time like she can. Three, the kind of Chinese food we get is really high-fat and high calorie, and I AM trying to watch those things. So I said "Thanks but no thanks" basically, and tried to change the subject. She said something about "healthy style" - I still haven't deciphered that comment, I really DON'T know what she meant by it - then went on to continue to bug me, all "Plleeeeeaaaaase? You can see I'm not going to give up." And me being the people-pleaser that I tend to be, I was trying to come up with an excuse that wasn't an outright "No", so I brought up my money issues. She just kind of shrugged that off and said "Well then, prepaid Chinese I will find and force-feed you!"
I lost it at that point, at least a little. The last comment was what killed it. I stopped trying to be friendly and conciliatory and just said "No, you won't. Because I'm serious. I'm not doing Chinese tonight. Like I said, I do appreciate it, but I'm trying to do what's healthier for me."
And all she said was "Fine. Whatev." and hasn't spoken since.
I'm so FRUSTRATED! Why the **** doesn't she get it??? I would think she would. I mean, ****, she's the one who was all gung-ho for us to "diet together" when we first moved in together, and again in January after we got back from our respective holiday breaks. And in those cases, she was the one who got all on my case about whether or not I was following The Diet. She, who only has 10 vanity pounds to lose. I've got four times that to get rid of. I've explained this. I don't understand why, as someone who is trying to lose weight herself, she gets on me and tries to get me to have "bad" stuff when I've already said no! Particularly the snotty attitude about it. It just really peeves me.
And you know the part that makes me the angriest right now? That I'm feeling guilty. I feel GUILTY for standing up for what I actually want (or don't want, as the case may be). I'm all sick and shaking because I had to go very head-to-head and be direct and unsubtle about getting what I want. I hate doing that. I hate confrontations. I tried not to let it become a confrontation. She's my FRIEND. And now I feel crappy because of all this.
I'm really hungry right now, too, but I don't want to go downstairs because I know she'll be down there and I don't know what I'll say or what she'll say. I'm hiding. In my own house.
Gods, I hate this.
Do you guys think it was deliberate on her part? Or...I mean, why do all this? I just don't get it. I also don't know what to say to her now. Do I just let it get swept under the rug and pretend it never happened? Do I say something? If so, what?
Le sigh. I'm sorry for the novella, but I needed to rant about this, and where else can I do it?