Ladies, his idea of "never over 150 no matter what" is the main reason I left. Like I said, he was a jerk. Funny thing now is he is married and miserable and won't leave because she'd get half of his massive fortune. Basically, he wanted a "trophy wife". I don't think legally that he could have even put that in a pre-nup if he wanted, but I didn't stick around to find out. His current wife must not have signed a pre-nup eluding to weight cause she is now twice as big as I am. I really think he was just wanting to try to threaten me ahead of time that he'd divorce me if I gained weight and he wouldn't give me squat of his fortune. Hope is money keeps him warm at night cause him and his wife have separate bedrooms. LOL.
Whoo, I'm glad to hear you didn't get stuck with that jackass. That comment about wanting a trophy wife struck me, cause I was talking to my SO on the phone last night and mentioned the prenup thing, and that was exactly his comment - "The guy just wanted a trophy wife". My SO also suggested you coulda put your own stuff in the prenup, like...must never fail to *ahem* perform on request.
Good riddance to him and I hope he's thoroughly miserable and alone.
When I was 6 or 7 my dad would walk me and my older brother to school, we would hold his hand and he would squeeze my scrawny brother's hand and say "Boney hand" and then squeeze my hand and say "Meaty hand".
Dude, my grandmother still calls my feet "meaty" or "Piggy feet" even thought their not fat! Theyre just not BONEY like hers!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mami
To me sometimes it seems to depend on the culture that the men are from as to how accepting they are of certain body types. Men of spanish-caribbean ethnicity (puerto rican/dominican) tend to prefer curvy types with some meat on the curves (hips, butt, thighs).
Yeah, I agree with you on that. I think ethnicity really has some sort of body-shape culture influences.
My husband and I been together 5 years and married 6 months. When we met 5 years ago (online by the way), I weighed about 105 lbs and was a size 3. During one of our conversations a couple of years ago, he mentioned how on our first date he loved watching me walking away from him because I had a nice butt. He also brought up how "hot" I was one night when we had gone out and I was dressed in tight jeans. Now I know he still loves me even though I have gained 45 pounds since we met but, he tells me now that I was too skinny then and look better now. But that sure isn't the feeling I got by his previous statements. And because of his past statements, I sometimes get myself down because I think there is no way he is as attracted to me since I have put on the weight because what he really wants is the size 3 me.
I never let men have an influence on my weight.... Because I never gave them the chance to. I just assumed that I was not ever going to be attractive to any man because of my weight (and other self esteem issues) So I never let myself get close to a man. I never put myself in social situations where I could potentially meet someone... someone who would criticize me... or love me. I hid from men. And because of that I was 29 before I had my first real boyfriend. And though things did not work, I know it was not because of my weight... he adored my body, its size and shape, just as it was. That was a revelation to me. For so long I let myself believe that I could only be attractive to men if I was skinny. But that is not completely true. Yes, there are men out there who want only skinny women, but there are men out there that adore a woman with curves. The man I am dating now is the same way, he loves my body, appreciates my softness and my curves. I feel beautiful and sexy with him... Something because of my weight I never thought I could feel with a man. I am now confident that my weight does not have to be an issue with men.
I remember this like it was yesterday-
One time when my family was visiting my grandmothers home
I was sitting crossed-legged in front of the TV, my father walked
into the room and sat on the couch directly behind me- then he
said something to me that has stuck with me to this day.
He said "wow Stacey your really starting to spread". I was about
thirteen and as you know at that age your starting to get your curves
and what not- really really hurt my feelings.
I however, feel even worse for my sister (whom has always been
a little heavier than myself) as my father used to say to her all
the time- "is it true fat girls sweat alot". Now that was not called
for. I know he sounds like a monster but he is/was a great father to
us both. I just think sometimes he did not think before he speaks.
The other new description that men sometimes use is "athletic" for the body type they are attracted to, as in profiles in online dating sites. Those are the online dating sites I avoid anyway. It's not enough to be thin or even curvy, we're now expected to be "athletic," which takes a lot more work.
I'm getting in better shape because as I age (I'm 37), I want to lift weights for my health, my bone density, my muscles that are probably shrinking due to age alone. I want to be stronger.
My husband and I been together 5 years and married 6 months. When we met 5 years ago (online by the way), I weighed about 105 lbs and was a size 3. During one of our conversations a couple of years ago, he mentioned how on our first date he loved watching me walking away from him because I had a nice butt. He also brought up how "hot" I was one night when we had gone out and I was dressed in tight jeans. Now I know he still loves me even though I have gained 45 pounds since we met but, he tells me now that I was too skinny then and look better now. But that sure isn't the feeling I got by his previous statements. And because of his past statements, I sometimes get myself down because I think there is no way he is as attracted to me since I have put on the weight because what he really wants is the size 3 me.
Don't look at it that way. Obviously he loves you no matter what size you are. I think by him saying those things, he's hoping to boost your confidence.. maybe so that you don't feel like you have to lose the weight to make him happy, or to let you know that he loves your body now, just as much as he loved your body then. He wants you to be happy with yourself, because he's happy with you just the way you are.
I didn't have a weight issue until I was 20 and came home from college. When I left high school, I wore a size 13 and weighed 125 lbs and thought I was a moose (actually, I was built like Marilyn Monroe). But I went to college and became insecure and ate my way up to 185. Over the next few years I ate my weight up over 200 (way over).
Dating at 22 sucks when you wear a size 22. Especially 20 years ago when fat was even more unacceptable. I remember at one point I'd gotten down to 150 and the guy I was dating was almost ashamed to be seen with me because I was so "fat."
There were a lot of headaches along the way from men who couldn't handle my weight and from the disastrous types who could but had serious psychological issues that prevented them from being fit companions to anyone!
I'm fortunate at the moment to have a boyfriend who loves the way I look but is supportive of my exercise (we do yoga together sometimes). I had the impetus to get smaller before we started dating and I hope I can maintain it enough to continue to my goal this time (how many times have YOU started over and swore it was the last?)
But there are times when guys just make you wanna cry and work your way through a dozen Krispy Kremes or even just the full portion of pasta al pesto and hot buttered popcorn.
My first weight-related memory is from when I was maybe 10 or so eating at McDonald's with my Dad. He told me I couldn't eat so much if I was going to keep my "girlish figure". What was he doing taking me to McDonald's anyway? Hah. Well... I've always been affected by other people's opinions of me, and the fact that I remember that says how horrified I was. I think I finished what I had ordered just to spite him.
Around the same time there were boys in school who would tease me, and I vividly remember one of them telling me I needed to go on a diet. Now, I was probably 12 or 13 at the time. I was overly self-conscious from being a tall girl and I have always had issues with my skin and my gigantic feet. I didn't need some idiotic boy telling me I was fat. (By the way, I wasn't really fat... had I stuck to that same general size, I would have grown taller and slimmed down). I suffered from self esteem issues from being different from the other kids and eating was a comfort to me. I used to eat enormous quantities of food around 4 p.m. when I got home from school.
In college when I finally got out of the small pond and into a big one, I met a guy who claimed to LOVE my body. I lost a little weight from hiking around campus all the time, but I still thought I was huge and fat. He said I looked just like the renaissance paintings of women. He loved my curvy hips and my butt (and I was horrified about my butt). I'm not with him anymore, but his attention really boosted my self esteem. It was really bad before, and now maybe it's low, but definitely better.
Now I'm with a guy who has issues with himself, and *I'm* in the supporting role telling him how attractive I think he is. Both of us have gained weight since we've known each other and we're both unhappy with our bodies. I know he's not extremely attracted to me physically, but he seems to be attracted to me on a personal and emotional level which is more important.
I'm at the point where I realize that I need to like myself and not let the men (or the women) in my life influence me negatively.
