I'd love to know why people feels it's their right to comment on others food, it's a HUGE source of frustration for me. January is ALWAYS the worst, thats when a lot of people at work started the "oh, look at you, eating all healthy".
I guess people will always comment, you just have to choose how you want to respond. Knowing this, we have the time to come up with really great comebacks... so let me know if you come up with something
January is ALWAYS the worst, thats when a lot of people at work started the "oh, look at you, eating all healthy".
Ugh, my mom had that problem. She's around 240 lbs, and has wanted to lose it for a long time. But it was only about a month or so ago that she finally was ready to get to work on it. Since that coincided with January, she got asked about her "New Year's Resolution" sooo many times. After about the third one, I started pitying those who asked. My mom's a little bulldog - my friends call me a badass/b****/etc, but I'm still scared of my mom! I get the feeling she tore strips out of a few people at her work. *grin*
You would think that commenting on someone elses eating habits would be taboo. Just one big no-no. Apparently not.
And the more I think about it, the fact that my friend called me up and the first thing out of her mouth was did I get over the dessert fiasco, was indeed MEAN and very, very uncalled for. To go on and bring it up after the fact makes it that much more so. Very out of character for her. I won't let it ruin our friendship though, she's too important to me. I'm beginning to think she just might be a little jealous. She's been battling 25-35 lbs for as long as I know her (16 years) and it probably irks her (without realizing it) that here I was, this big huge person and I was able to get off 90+ lbs and she can't manage to get off her 25 -35 lbs. She's mentioned to me many, many times she wishes she could eat how I am now eating. Again, I won't hold it against her, weight just really is a tough subject for all of us.
Robin - I know I can be sensitive about dieting and food, and for the most part I haven't had people I could tell about it without them trying to get me off plan. I seriously once had a girl I worked with pin me down and try and force a cookie in my mouth. Crazy people.
What we are doing is good and right, and sometimes people can't accept that they aren't able to do it because it's HARD work! My mom always says this to me - you do NOT owe anyone an explanation. (except for her of course heh ).
Nikaia - January is one month that really bothers me, and for the most part I STOP dieting in that month just because it bothers me so much. Good on your mother, we shouldn't have to tolerate others being so mean!
I seriously once had a girl I worked with pin me down and try and force a cookie in my mouth.
Are you SERIOUS? Who the **** taught these people manners? Apparently nobody did, if they think that that kind of behavior is acceptable. I'd have literally hit the b****. Wow. What happened with her after the fact?
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My mom always says this to me - you do NOT owe anyone an explanation. (except for her of course heh ).
ughhhh...I'm with all of you. People who make poor eating choices, and then project their guilt onto you, by asking sarcastically "that's it?!" with a glance at your plate. Ughhhh.
Nikaia - I quit that job and never looked back! I can't believe people sometimes, those women were especially mean about dieting. One girl told me that it was unhealthy to quit having processed foods and sugar - what the heck?!?! That was my only experience of working in a plus size clothing store - never again!
Robin -- Just don't tell your friend about this site the support you get here you will never get in real life... This site has helped me so much in losing my first 15#
Robin, my gosh, with what you've lost, and as far as you've come in such a short time...no one has the right to question you for having bites of 7 desserts. Or 10. Or skipping all of the other courses and digging into a piece of cheesecake, for an event you planned into your calories and your day.
I work with a woman who sounds a lot like your friend- doesn't think about how the comments will be taken. It's usually done out of her own insecurity than anything else.
I work 1 desk over from this freakshow- who has seen me bring breakfast, and lunch, every day for how long now, turn down bagels, turn down McDonalds, ordering in, trips out to lunch, offers of cookies, candy, chocolate, chips, and more, while she sits at the next desk and indulges. Today, she shafted me with work while she took off for 2 hours. To make it up to me, she walks in, and places a hot, fresh chocolate chip cookie on my desk, and walks off. Hello!!! That doesn't make up for you being a total idiot, and secondly, I DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID COOKIE. It smelled good, but I let it sit out for 2 hours on my desk, and I threw it away.
Some people don't think before they open their mouth. Other people...well, just don't think.
And Robin- again, you're kicking butt, and doing amazingly, and don't let one person's own insecurity and comments slow you down, even for a minute. Rock on!
Nikaia - I quit that job and never looked back! I can't believe people sometimes, those women were especially mean about dieting. One girl told me that it was unhealthy to quit having processed foods and sugar - what the heck?!?! That was my only experience of working in a plus size clothing store - never again!
-Aimee
Wow. It makes a sick sort of sense. Because after all, if people lose weight, they won't have to buy plus sizes anymore. If people don't need to buy plus sizes anymore, guess who's out of a job? But that's still just beyond the bounds of decency, the trick with the cookie. And how is it UNhealthy to quit eating junk food? Where'd she study nutrition, McDonalds?
Wow Robin, I am really sorry that your friend has made you feel this way. Sounds like she is someone who you value greatly, so we'll assume that she's done a lot of other wonderful things to make your friendship worth it, but I think you should clear the air with her about her latest comments. She may not even realize that she's being so negative.
I started a new job recently, and I have to say that it's really nice to have a group of people who don't know me as the person I was 70 pounds ago - no one comments on what I'm eating, and they just know me as the current version of me. (of course, given that I'm only about half way to goal, hopefully they will get to see me transform myself further - but at least for now, it's a nice respite from the attention on my efforts).
There's a slim chance that your friend was trying to be helpful in her own way..ya know, maybe thinking food is like an addiction to you and if you have a few bites of your old treats you'll fall off the wagon like a smoker who takes one puff and we ALL think we have the right to comment on our loved one's smoking. And if they took just one puff, we would be commenting and up in arms so maybe its coming from the same place. I would just clear the air to get over your anger and to prevent her from pissing you off in the future. "Hey sweetheart, I know you're just looking out for me but it really bothers me when people make me feel like I need to justify what I'm doing when it comes to food. As you can see by my numbers..I got this!" Me personally, even if I've always been trying to get off my 35 pounds like your friend, I would still be SO happy for my friend if she made the decision to stop being obese and she was following through with getting healthier as you have. I would simply never be jealous of this so I wouldn't instinctively think your friend is.
First of all- way to stick to your guns at that event! I'm proud of you! ^-^ I thought about this situation for a while, perhaps she views her comments as helpful... you know, keeping you on track. Then again, she may be using you to feel better about herself by making pointed comments to draw attention to your habits and away from the ones she has and is ashamed of. My father does the former, I can't eat a piece of a carrot or sip a glass of nonfat milk without a comment from him. I know it is just his personality, it always has been, and regardless of his sarcastic insensitive tone- he means to help me by "reinforcement" and by keeping my "mind on my money, and money on my mind (fat...)."
I don't know your friend so it is difficult to be sure, but I think that it's a childish tactic reminiscent of high school years. You know what I mean, pick on the "rich/thin/athletic/religious/happy/healthy/poor/creative/etc" person because your jealous of what they have that you don't. You don't want anyone to know, because it angers and frustrates you, so you deflect attention.
Mami, I don't think she's jealous of me. I think if she's jealous of anything, it's the fact that I am able to lose weight and she's not. But not to the point where she wouldn't want me to lose. I really and truly know she is 100% thrilled and happy for me. At least I think so. No, I know so. We are so close, closer then sisters in fact. We speak to each other about 5 x a week and see each other at least once a week. I don't know, I think maybe she might have been almost glad to see me eat those desserts, like I'm human after all and felt the need to comment on . She did see my dessert plate fully loaded, she just didn't realize I had eaten only 7 bites. I really think she's oblivious to the comments and just how insensitive and OUT OF LINE they were. But rest assured if it comes up again I will point it out to her, gently.
Windycitychick, I can't imagine what it would be like to be with a whole group of people who haven't known me from when I was so heavy. It just must be so weird. On one hand I really love how supportive and complimentary every one has been to me, but on the other hand it would be nice for it (my weightloss and eating habits) to be a non-issue. In fact it would be REAL nice the more I think about it. Oh well.
Are you SERIOUS? Who the **** taught these people manners? Apparently nobody did, if they think that that kind of behavior is acceptable. I'd have literally hit the b****. Wow. What happened with her after the fact?
. She did see my dessert plate fully loaded, she just didn't realize I had eaten only 7 bites. I really think she's oblivious to the comments and just how insensitive and OUT OF LINE they were. But rest assured if it comes up again I will point it out to her, gently.