My sister and I were thin up until college. Even in college, I really wasn't that overweight. I wasn't until I was into my 30's that I started to have an overweight BMI. Despite that, I remember looking at myself in junior high and thinking I was fat. I wore a lot of baggy clothes in high school to try to disguise how "fat" I was. My freshman year of college was one long year of dieting and binging. My roommate was even more obsessed with her weight tha I was with mine and it didn't have a positive effect on me. After that year, I gave up on trying to lose weight
As kids, my mom was a fanatic about my sister and I eating whatever she prepared for dinner. Nobody got special meals. As a result, we were very unfussy eaters and we both ate A LOT. People were always telling my parents what "good eaters" we were. When I ate over at friends houses, I never felt like I got enough to eat and their parents were always shocked at the amount of food I consumed. But it was considered a good; my friends parents would compliment my parents on having raised such "good eaters." Talk about encouraging a portion control problem later in life....
In high school, my friends and I were always trying to lose wieght. I never ate breakfast because I couldn't waste the time on it (the morning hair and makeup routine took a couple of hours). Freshman year, for lunch, we always had one envelope of french fries, a diet soda, and a Twix bar. I remember the lunchroom ladies would really stuff those envelopes full of fries, I think because they knew it was all we were eating.
After that, it got worse. I know there were many days when I did not eat breakfast or lunch. Then, when my sister and I would get home from school, we would inhale massive amounts of junk food. I think ice cream and peanut butter was a favorite treat. Once I think we ate most of a 9x13 sheet cake. We would laugh about being able to eat such huge quantities of food but looking back I realize it is because we were starving. My mom did insist on dinner every night, so I think that was at least semi-healthy (although nothing compared to what I eat now).
Then there were all the crazy diets my freshman year of college. At the end of that year, my mom died and I lost interest in food. For that entire summer, about all I ate every day was a bowl of cereal in morning (at least I was eating breakfast). I was also working really long days lifeguarding and teaching swim lessons--nothing like catching kids jumping from a diving board to get your legs in shape, so I did lose a lot of weight. But looking back I can see that I was completely overwhelmed with grief and how unhealthy my eating habits (or lack thereof) were.
I do give my mom a lot of credit for never suggesting that I needed to lose weight. I don't know why I had such body image issues, but it wasn't from her. She was never anything but supportive. Some of my friends parents hassled them about their weight and it has really damaged their relationships.
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