. I once heard an American weight-loss guru argue that terms like "*lose* weight" and "diet" should be scrapped - because by their accepted meanings they imply that we are giving up something and depriving ourselves.
When people ask me if I'm trying to lose weight I generally say what I'm trying to do is get fit, which to me is about more than losing the weight. Also, although "losing" generally has a negative connotation, and people think about deprivation, I think of it as the opposite of deprivation - I think being out of shape and overweight deprives me of a lot of life's pleasures, so I turn it around to be not about giving something up, but giving myself a gift.
Once last thought, for the record - I'm not under the impression that everyone who says "I was bad today" hates themselves (although my post was spurred by reading a thread in which a young women was saying terrible things about herself). I do understand it's largely just an expression. But I also think that it doesn't feed a positive state of mind. I'm not telling anyone they mustn't say it, just suggesting that it's worth thinking about.
cheers,
Sue
Personally, I find that I need negative reinforcement. If I "love myself" the way I am, it's far too easy to begin that slide into complacency and either stop losing or regain--it's one of the reasons I was so big for so long.
I hate being fat and I don't want to stay that way; therefore when I slip and engage in behaviors that will keep me there, I berate myself in order to be reminded of the many consequences of poor eating. The world is not kind to fat women; why should I be kind to myself for being one?
Coming at this from a little different angle, I feel a bit uncomfortable when co-workers, etc say, "Oh, you're being so good." Well, then, what was I before? Bad, it seems. It feels like a moral judgment about my food choices. To me it feels a little weird to be involuntarily earning the approval or disapproval of others for something that just isn't any of their business.
I guess I'd feel like a modern generation child if someone said to me, "My, what good food choices you're making!", LOL Actually, "You're doing so good!", really means something different to me than 'You're being so good." picky, picky
Personally, I find that I need negative reinforcement. If I "love myself" the way I am, it's far too easy to begin that slide into complacency and either stop losing or regain--it's one of the reasons I was so big for so long.
Same here. And in that I have had to shift the way my thoughts are worded. I don't frantically try to convince myself that I love me exactly like I am. Cause I don't and it's not all about the fat. Sometimes I'm so anal-retentive that I drive myself crazy! I have to correct Christmas letter's grammatical mistakes. In pen. Sometimes I can be mean and cranky without a clue as to why I'm in a bad mood. (I'm such a Virgo! )
So I've shifted it to this: I love myself enough to do this for me. I love myself enough to pay attention to me and to prevent obesity-related illnesses. I love myself enough to not behave in a self-destructive manner and to try and make myself a better person; to transform myself into a happier and healthier version of myself.
Oy. Sorry about the length. Did I mention I can also be chatty and wordy to the extreme?
Coming at this from a little different angle, I feel a bit uncomfortable when co-workers, etc say, "Oh, you're being so good." Well, then, what was I before? Bad, it seems. It feels like a moral judgment about my food choices. To me it feels a little weird to be involuntarily earning the approval or disapproval of others for something that just isn't any of their business.
mrainy, when people feel the need to comment on what you're eating, it's really more of a reflection of their guilt. If you are making healthy choices, you will often find that some people actually feel guilty that they themselves can't seem to make healthy choices, so they will say things to you.
I generally agree with most of the previous posters - these phrases dont bother me. The exception to this is the few members who do not realize that this is set up to be a positive support network, not a self-bashing forum (which is sounds like the original poster incountered a post of). I think most of us use these terms as more of an evaluation of our day, not a judgement on ourselves.
IAWTC? QFT? I'm sorry but I no speak that language? I'm in need of a translator. I finally figured out what LMAO meant, with a little help from my kids that is.
Actually, "You're doing so good!", really means something different to me than 'You're being so good." picky, picky
)
