Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandis
I do not have children. However, I see some things in my family that annoy me. They put a plate of food in front of a kid, which may or may not include a healthy variety of foods, depending on the parent. Then, when the kid doesn't eat as much as the parent thinks they should, they try to force more food into the kid. So the child is full, and now you're making that child stretch the stomach out, confusing natural food signals, and making the child less aware of their own feelings, simply because they didn't eat enough to satisfy the parent. I see how children eat. It's natural, it's normal, and somehow, some parents I have seen think that we need to change it. I wish I had the intuitive eating patterns I once had as a child. I am still confused about whether I am actually hungry or not sometimes, or whether I should be done eating. Sorry I got off topic from the article, but this was another food practice I have witnessed firsthand that I think contributes to children having weight issues.
Indeed it is very upsetting. Think about the role of food in a baby's life. When I was breastfeeding my son I would do so on demand. Every time he cried he would be fed and he would stop crying. There was no schedule (I know a lot of people formula feed and try to get their babies on schedule but you cannot do that with breastfeeding), so it was at all times of the day and night that he would be fed at his discretion. This went on for about a year and a half and we introduced food around 6months but it wasn't a big deal.
But as soon as most kids start eating they get rules imposed on them. You can't eat this. No you can't have a snack, you have to wait until dinner time. You have to finish all your food. One more bite, one more bite. You can't have dessert unless you eat your broccoli. If you do what I tell you to do you can have a cookie.
My toddler now is getting very difficult around food and has been refusing to eat any dinner at all! Last night he wanted me to bathe him and I found myself saying "there's no bath unless you eat some dinner." Which is horrible, I wouldn't want anyone telling me to eat or not eat or whatever but at the same time a mommy doesn't want to see their kid skipping entire meals regularly so it's a tough call!
There are some decisions I've made that I will not cross
- I never tell my kid to finish his meal
- I try never to force him to eat
- I don't nitpick his eating. I'm pretty happy if he tries the food and then leaves it.
- if he doesn't like what we eat that's all that is offered, he can't have something else
- I never argue with him if he says he doesn't like something
- I try to keep wholesome snacks around and allow him access to them
The only time I feel utter stress is when he refuses food outright and it's been several hours since his last meal. I do hate to send him to bed without food.