Annoyed with Comments
 

First of all, I live in an area where hunting is very popular. People are proud of their redneck status and are always boasting about their latest kill. I've never fit in here. But, hey, I like being different, so it's ok. :D

Anyway...to do the vegetarian/vegan thing is a completely alien concept to most people around here. I don't have any support here, but I do get a lot of support from my vegan friends on Facebook. They have excellent recipe suggestions! Anyway, lately, my non-vegan friends seem to feel the need to make off the wall comments. They update their status with "So glad I'm not a vegan. GIVE ME MY MEAT!!" comments. Or "Those dishes sound gross. What are they thinking?", or my personal favorite "Meat.... freshly killed..... slowly roasted...... carefully savored...... yummy". Why?? Why do they feel the need to do that? Fine, you're not a vegan, you don't get my lifestyle, sure, ok. That's fine with me. But why go so far to rub it in my face? :dunno: I guess there is always the option to hide their posts or unfriend them, but that seems a bit extreme. Besides, I've had people say that to my face, too.

Just curious if you guys get that reaction too and how you handle it? So far, I just ignore them, but it's that TOM and it's bothering me today. :club:

Oh, yeah. I'm a vegan and get that crap alll the time. I work with twelve meat-eating men, so I'm sure you can imagine. At staff-evenings where we hang out and eat together, they always make a big deal of offering me meat and wafting it in my face. It never gets old for them. I just smile and nod, because they're just trying to provoke a reaction. Or I'll say "Nah, you go ahead. You look like you could use a few hundred grams of un-digestible rotting flesh in your colon for a couple weeks." ;x

I'm not a vegetarian or vegan, but I used to be lacto-ovo veg in high school and I still enjoy meatless meals. I think it boils down to personality for a lot of it, and human nature. It is a common theme to make fun of the "outsider", that being said a lot of vegans/vegetarians I know tend to be very vocal about it, and post a lot about it on facebook and such. Is it possible their comments are related to that.

People are just RUDE. I have friends who are vegan and vegetarian and I never flash my food in front of them.

I'd probably ask them if their mothers intentionally raised them to be rude lol.

I've been vegetarian for 16 years and vegan for the last 3. I guess I'm lucky that I don't get much of the "in your face" types of comments, but it does tend to get uncomfortable when people I don't know well ask about why I'm vegan over a meal at a restaurant or something like that. I sort of have a rule about not talking about it while people are eating, so I usually just say it doesn't make good dinner conversation and move on to a different subject. If people are genuinely curious and interested I am more than happy to answer questions honestly and help them out with info and resources, but if they're just being immature or trying to get a rise out of me they're not worth my time.

Oh I think it has something to do with where you are from! We live in the south and everyone we know HAS to say crap like that. my husband and I have been vegetarian since birth and I have lived in India so I find it so offending when they make crude remarks like that. In India there are both vegetarians and non vegetarians and there is a respect about it.

Yeah, I get some of those comments but fortunately I'm used to ignoring them now (been a veggie 10+ years).

Honestly, I just don't tell people anymore. I have been a vegetarian for the last 18 years and I do the vegan thing on and off (meaning I still enjoy certain fish so that makes me a vegetarian instead of vegan. Not interested in the cheese or milk though.) People are ignorant and have lost respect. I feel sorry for those whom do not understand the whole concept.
For the people who know me and we go out for dinner I never bring it up cause then they make a statement that we had to come here cause you don't eat anything. Or where can we go, where do they serve "your food"
Seriously anywhere you go you can get a salad and a baked potato on the side with no sour cream or butter. There area always options.
It is a personal choice and I salute those for making that choice, for all the others out there - go on enjoy the meals you choose.

I get this too...I've been a vegetarian for 15 years and vegan on and off (currently on).

Honestly, I think the problem people have is that so many veg*ns are preachy and they feel the need to retaliate or defend their choice to eat meat.

Even I can't stand preachy vegetarians, I've had many preach to me assuming I am omni. Um, thanks for even asking me my dietary preferences before you go off on me with an AR rant! :(

Lead by example, give information where welcomed. :)

People can be jerks, that's all I can say. If someone put that on my FB I would probably post something snarky like, "Gee, your compassion for others who don't share your opinion is stellar." or maybe just a "dislike" or I'd ask them directly what their problem was.

Generally, I try to ignore them so they don't know it gets a rise out of me.

Can I ask an honest question from an omnivore?

I can see being bothered by comments on your own status - for example, if you put "Had wonderful vegan chickpea curry tonight - delicious!" and they responded with "Vegan food is gross". But I read your post as them putting this as their own status - that they enjoyed a meal involving meat or that they are glad that they include meat in their diet. I guess I'm asking why that would be construed as an attack on you (the "Vegan food sounds gross, what are they thinking" is definitely more borderline on this...mostly I am wondering about the other examples).

I have many vegetarian friends who have put up statuses, for example, like "enjoying a delicious vegan meal with friends - so glad I no longer eat meat!". I don't consider those judgment on my choice to consume meat...just expression of their happiness at their personal dietary choices.

I'm also wondering if I've inadvertently made people feel like I was judging them/rubbing their face in them on either side of the spectrum when posting things like "enjoying an amazing local organic grass fed steak from <Local Farm>...delicious"...because I have friends who are both vegetarian (and therefore might view it as "rubbing it in") or who eat conventionally farmed meat (who might see it as me acting sanctimonious). My intention is neither...it's to say something about my delicious meal. But this post made me wonder.

I am not a vegetarian, but in the last few months, my family has started having "Meatless Mondays" in order to just try some different foods, and get more veggies into our diets. We live in Los Angeles, where supposedly "anything goes" and I still get weird looks and comments like "why would you do that?"

I think people just like to tease and make fun of anything that is not "normal"
Overall, I would say blow off the comments, but I agree they are rude. I am usually a smart alec and would probably respond as such.

Mandalinn - I would not have a problem in the slightest with either of those posts! What you are doing (eating) is different than making a comment about a choice in general.

Originally Posted by usam:
I have been a vegetarian for the last 18 years and I do the vegan thing on and off (meaning I still enjoy certain fish so that makes me a vegetarian instead of vegan. Not interested in the cheese or milk though.)

Just for the sake of accuracy, I feel the need to point out that fish is not vegetarian. I'm not saying your should or shouldn't eat fish, but when self-identified "vegetarians" eat fish it can be really confusing to people who aren't vegetarian, and they may assume all vegetarians eat fish. When I was vegetarian I got offered fish quite a lot. I found out a place I used to order Thai food from used fish sauce in otherwise vegetarian dishes, when I found out I told them they needed to inform people of that if they were asking for vegetarian options. They insisted that fish was vegetarian and actually tried to argue with me about it. It's sort of one of my pet peeves, sorry if that got a little ranty there.

mandalinn, I don't think there's anything wrong with the types of fb posts you're describing. I will admit I have hit the "hide" button for some people that post pictures of themselves posing with animals they've killed, or frequently post things I find exasperating or disturbing. That goes for people that post political/religious/etc stuff that I just don't care to see, not just stuff I don't want to read/see as a vegan. It's their fb and they can post whatever they want. I can also choose not to look at it, so I don't really see it as a problem.

Nah, it doesn't bother me that people eat meat. I know we are all different and as such are very diverse. The woman hadn't posted directly to my status (which was about my happiness that my new vegan bread recipe came out nicely), but did mention it in hers. It started off with a "I keep seeing my friends posting vegan recipes and to them I say 'Bring on the meat'!" or something like that. I felt like I was being baited and since it was that TOM, I was ready for battle. I didn't want rise to that though, so I came on here and vented instead. It helped and I'm all good now. :D

That's just childish and mean, sorry you have friends that think saying stuff like that is ok. But glad to hear venting helped! Ignoring bad behavior is really the best thing you can do in situations like that.

Originally Posted by shananigans:
I found out a place I used to order Thai food from used fish sauce in otherwise vegetarian dishes, when I found out I told them they needed to inform people of that if they were asking for vegetarian options. They insisted that fish was vegetarian and actually tried to argue with me about it.

I know how you feel on that one! I haven't been vegetarian for very long yet (it'll be 2 months tomorrow!) but I'm worried about what I'm going to do next month, when I'm staying with my friend in Japan, since fish is in EVERYTHING, even where you wouldn't expect it, like in all their soup stock. And I'll be staying at her house with her family... in Japan at least, being vegetarian is almost unheard of.

I've met people with all sorts of eating styles who believe it's approprieate to comment on other people's food choices, including a vegetarian dorm-mate who baad, or mooed or clucked whenever she saw anyone eating meat (Yes, I know meat comes from animals, you don't have to make animal noises or tell me I'm a murderer, as I eat).

Most of the really rude stuff (in my experience) tends to come from adolescents and very old people, but no group is exempt. I'm an omnivore, but I eat a lot of exotic and unusual foods. I get teasing and get commentary from meat-eating AND vegetarian friends and even strangers for "eating weird ****." When I worked in corporate cubicle land, I can't tell you how many times I heared, "Ewwwe Gross!" of "What is that?" And I'm not talking about mystery casserole concoctions, but even only mildly exotic fruits like Ugli fruit (I admit the peel is a bit odd looking, but inside it looks like a grapefruit or an orange, how exotic is that?).

I'm not even exempt. I do participate in the teasing of a friend who we call a "baconarian," (we coined the name, because she eats no meat or fish except bacon and surimi. The only meats she will eat are crisp bacon and on very rare occasions imitation crab meat - and her love of bacon borders on the unnatural). Even if it weren't for the animal products, it seems a shame to call anyone as veg-phobic as she is a vegetarian (she's essentially a carb and preservative junkie).

But when you're a baconarian junk-foodie like my friend or a weird-****arian like myself - you learn to laugh at yourself and to tune out any of the unwelcome commentary.

You can speak up if you find it rude, and people who care will change their behavior - but people who don't, won't.

Yea I'm a preferred vegetarian. I can tolerate tuna and chicken without gagging... anyways, long story as to why i even bother with that. I was completely vegetarian for i forget how many years off and on and my own mother kept going on and on about how goood this steak is and how much she wished i ate meat because this hamburger is the best and really i've gotten this all my life (and still do). I've hated meat since i was 3 and she's shoved it down my throat until i realized i had a choice in what i ate. I never really handled it well. Sometimes i would just eat whatever she was eating just to shut her up even though my tastebuds screamed at me, "what the fudge are you doing?!" and I've gotten the same thing from almost everyone I know. I've always been the odd one out because I just didn't like the taste of meat and never had. I've even been called a mutant, an affront to nature... alien. I can't be human if I don't loooooooooove meat. I don't understand the world and I've lived in it a good 25 years.

I've been a lacto-ovo Vegetarian for a little over a month now. I have ZERO cravings for meat. I have nothing against people eating meat. I do have a problem with my Dad laughing at me and making constant comments and jokes about my new lifestyle choice. He thinks I'm completely wrong, and even a bit crazy. I usually just ignore it... but there ARE times when I'll snap at him because... well... it is upsetting to not have the support of one of your parents. He thinks it's a phase. Maybe it is... but doesn't mean it's bad or something to make fun of. I'm doing it for health reasons... not for the animal reasons... but... he just doesn't seem to get that either. URGH... just kind of annoying.

And now my mom is trying to convince me to eat meat again since I'm going to start running. The problem that she's bringing up is JUST protein. They're called legumes mom. I'll get plenty of protein.

*sigh*

I dunno. Just kind of annoying.

People are extrememly insensitive. Not only to vegetarians but also other ethnic foods. I am greek and a vegetarian so the comments I have heard are insane. I also have many Indian friends who get the same thing for their dishes and eating habits.
My whole family eats pretty much the same way so I never had problems from them but my co-workers were a whole different story. I remember I once made a dish with lentils and rice and this woman at work almost died when she looked at it. She thought I had mixed lard into the dish to make it stick together????? All I did was boil the rice and lentils, drain and then added sauteed onions in olive oil. Four ingredients lady and I can spell them all out too!
I think people who are educated on the subject are more understanding.

Serbrider - Have your mom read "Born to Run" or show her info about Scott Jurek, one of the world's top ultrarunners. He is vegan.

I don't understand it either. I thought what you ate was a personal matter, but a lot of people don't have such boundaries. When I went vegan, every member of my family acted like they needed my approval--probing for my reasonings and arguing about it--when I never even brought it up to them. I just quietly did it on my own. My mom tries, but can still miss the mark and act like I'm just on some really restrictive diet. She also told all my relatives about it without my consent (the joys of gossip.) They just made the whole transition stage very stressful for me, and I suffered heavy anxiety issues partly because of it (went to the doctor numerous times thinking I had a host of other ailments.) My father's the worst, and just outright disrespectful. Even though we're not on speaking terms, he tells me all the time to eat meat. Normally I ignore it, but last time we got in an argument I completely snapped and told him never to talk to me again (extreme yes, but we have issues.) He's very set in his ways and difficult to deal with. Basically, I feel the complete opposite to my family in so many ways. They're all, "What's all this soy--are you a liberal?" haha They'd much prefer nobody had any compassion.

Anyway... just venting I guess.

I'm new to veganism but am a bit worried about this. So far I've told no one about it. just quietly doing my own thing. It's hard because I am excited about it and want to talk to otehrs (not to try to persuade them to do it just to tell them why I am doing it). I don't have issues with other people eating meat but know I am going to be challenged for my decision. I guess that's what bothers me the most. Knowing that I will have to defend a personal decision. I could see if I launched into a tirade on why they are wrong for eating meat (which again I don't think they are) but even saying nothing of the sort as soon as people know I will have to be on the defensive.

Hlthgrl - I understand wanting to talk about it but I think that is where people's defenses go up. Just like when someone changes to let us say whole foods. It IS exciting but when you discuss it with people who are still eating what you no longer do it comes across as preaching despite your best efforts. When I was vegetarian years ago, I totally downplayed it, and actually redirected conversation when people asked why. Most people just said "that's cool" and expressed interest in what was on my plate as I usually cooked separately for myself and I am a good cook :) You may find it much more enjoyable to discuss your new lifestyle with other vegans.

This was a big problem for me while I was a vegetarian last year. It's why I gave it up -- judgment and lack of support from nearly all of my friends, being asked to justify myself constantly, and so on. My mother pressing meat at me, and when I acquiesced to fish, serving fish at every meal and forcing me to eat that (and then seafood).

"I don't know how you can afford to not eat meat," she once said. "What do you mean?" I asked, completely confused. It turned out that she considered "vegetarianism" (really pescatarianism at this point) a privilege of spoiled, rich brats like me... who could eat seafood every day. Of course I set her straight immediately.

Right now, I'm eating up to one serving of meat a day -- grilled chicken, without exception -- in order to get the most protein and the least fat and sodium as possible in my school dining hall, where all the vegetarian and vegan protein sources tend to be either boiled & tasteless, or drowning in curries. I try to get the rest of my protein from lentils, chickpeas, tofu, etc. Dairy is gone for good, eggs are rare, and I'm back to being 75%-80% plant-sourced in my diet.

When I cook for myself (rare though that is), I only prepare vegan dishes. When I graduate and get off this meal plan, I'm fairly sure I'll be an at-least 95% plant-source omnivore -- for weight control purposes as much as anything else.

But I hesitate to ever define myself as anything again. It's so much easier to not tell people what you won't eat -- choose what you want, for the reasons you want, and they're likely not to notice at all.

Comments will lessen with time. After 20-odd years of me being veg*n, anyone who matters to me has long since accepted my eating habits and general beliefs about how what we eat impacts the environment. They've heard my diatribes on animal welfare issues and global protein politics, and I've heard all their opinions on how meat is essential for survival (except I'm still kicking). So we've agreed to disagree and it's all good.

Serbrider: check out the No Meat Athletes online. It's a bunch of veg*n runners and they sell cool t-shirts!

I understand that Tommy. Actually thank you for reminding me. About two years ago a friend decided to become vegan and I was that person feeling defensive about what I was eating :) When you are on the other side you feel differently I guess. I haven't discussed my dietary changes with anyone yet and unless I have to I suppose I won't. If asked about it I can talk about it but until then it's best to keep quiet. With the exception of my one vegan friend no one else Ikow is vegan. Challenging sometimes to have no one to chat with or talk about dietary ideas or struggles with.

Ooooh, I am so glad I found this post! I UNDERSTAND ALL OF WHAT YOU GUYS ARE SAYING!!! Hi guys, I'm new to the boards and I'm a veggie, currently on the road to being a Vegan :)

It is so frustrating to hear people's side comments about things, but I guess it's something we have to put up with until the masses figure it out.

Shanigans- I had the SAME experience at my favorite Thai place with my pad thai noodles. One day, a different cook was there and all I tasted in my first bite was FISH! It was so gross I couldn't eat it. I told them the same thing (to advise people there is fish oil in it), and they said "fish is vegetarian." Soooo, yeah... Also, i have the same theory as you. I don't talk about my vegetarianism/vegan lifestyle in front of people while eating. Even if the people asking are close family members or friends or new people i have met that want to genuinely know, I believe that while somebody is chowing down on meat, they are defensive, even if only subconsciously.

YES- PREACHY VEGANS/VEGETARIANS. I totally get annoyed with this too, so therefore most people don't even know I'm a Veg until they are around me eating. I do believe in education about the whole matter, but not in a preachy way. Heck, i don't like preachy people in any form, about any subject. Besides, we (as humans, not anyone in particular) need to not be so judgmental, and it's something I strive for.

Alright, well I am off to my first Bikram class of the day!

I am looking forward to reading more of the threads/comments!

Have a great day!

p.s. My latest annoyed comment after stating I was a vegetarian...
"Okay, but I got chicken too, not just steak why don't you come on over." LOL At least I can laugh. IGNORANCE

Check out "Living Among the Meat Eaters" for some insights. That helped me some.

I'm more flexitarian now than vegan at home/vegetarian out, but I remember the hazing.

It's dumb, but whatever.

I carried on, and I even went back to flexitarian in 2010 to address some weak iron things the doc wanted me to, but everyone, even the most annoying, got over themselves.

I was veg from 1998-2009. I'll probably go back for another run at it too. I was at my best shape then.

A.

Thanks for the book advice Astophe! I actually had that one on my list of "to read" but totally forgot about it! :)

Originally Posted by JayZeeJay:
Comments will lessen with time. After 20-odd years of me being veg*n, anyone who matters to me has long since accepted my eating habits and general beliefs about how what we eat impacts the environment. They've heard my diatribes on animal welfare issues and global protein politics, and I've heard all their opinions on how meat is essential for survival (except I'm still kicking). So we've agreed to disagree and it's all good.

Serbrider: check out the No Meat Athletes online. It's a bunch of veg*n runners and they sell cool t-shirts!

I like and agree with what you say! My good friends totally accept me! I also LOVE your profile pic/avatar (whatever it is called!)

I don't get any comments about not eating meat, but then again, I don't really talk about it. I also am not into the whole label thing, and avoid words like ovo/lacto/vegetarian/vegan. I eat what I eat, and I don't eat what I don't eat.

I am curious to know how old these bullies are. Anyone who comments on Vegetarianism, or someones diet at all, is immature and rude.

I'm a vegetarian (and no, 'vegetarians' do NOT eat fish.. fish is meat, believe it or not), but on the rare occasion that someone teases me I just tease back at em. I don't care if they eat meat and I never start pulling out the slaughterhouse videos when they have meat for lunch. Their food is not my business! :)

Oddly enough, my coworkers seem more worried about offending *me* even when I tell them it's really not bothering me.

Only reason I even MENTIONED being a vegetarian was I declined the free holiday turkey and had it donated instead.

Way back about 5-6 years ago, before I was veggie, I used to get ALL SORTS of comments on my food - I was on the body for life plan and had to pull out my mini meals every few hours - they weren't all that appetizing looking most of the time, but seems more people had to comment on em. I got them back - I'd start bringing stinky or REALLY icky looking stuff to work to eat with them. Hee hee. :)

This is an interesting thread! I've never labelled my self as an anything-arian. I do eat fish and some chicken, eggs and dairy - loathe pork and beef as a rule ( I find it just tastes bad overall) I am more concerned about how it was obtained, whether you call it ethical farming or susatainable harvesting. In other words no "concentration camp" eggs. Free range or naturally raised and fed, or wild caught in the case of fish, might be more expensive - but I can live with myself, until I make the total switch over :)

My ex's mother used to hide bacon in her food and thought it was hilarious to watch me take a bite. She was constantly "forgetting" that chicken was meat and trying to get me to try a dish claiming it was vegetarian. She was from Columbia and she had some weird notions about vegetarians. She thought that if I ate meat, she would win something. It was like a game to her. She also called me Vanessa, which is not my name. I really hated her.

I don't tell anyone I'm a vegetarian anymore - and nobody notices.

Originally Posted by StephInLA:
My ex's mother used to hide bacon in her food and thought it was hilarious to watch me take a bite. She was constantly "forgetting" that chicken was meat and trying to get me to try a dish claiming it was vegetarian. She was from Columbia and she had some weird notions about vegetarians. She thought that if I ate meat, she would win something. It was like a game to her. She also called me Vanessa, which is not my name. I really hated her.

I don't tell anyone I'm a vegetarian anymore - and nobody notices.

Maybe 15 years ago when I became a vegetarian, my brothers would give me vegetarian foods and tease that they contained meat once I took a bite (ie brownies, etc). We were kids. My older brother has been a vegetarian for at least ten years and my younger brother loves his bacon, but was a vegetarian for a year or so.

The above? That's just wrong.

All we can do is just not take the bait. Then the mockers and teasers will get tired of unrewarded efforts and eventually quit.

I tend not to mention it to anyone but I did feel really guilty the other day when I went to lunch with my mum and there were no vegetarian options on the menu...everything had meat in it! everything! I was quite shocked and we had to go somewhere else.

One thing that annoys me are places that list something as vegetarian but it has meat based rennet in the cheese, it even cheaper to use vegetarian rennet. I've given up eating out nowadays.

Ugh, I so know how you feel. Living in Michigan, bear hunting is big. I HATE IT. Every summer I visit a place called Oswald's bear ranch in the upper peninsula. Such beautiful and amazing creatures, those bears are. I can't stand the thought of people hunting them...much less eating them.

Maybe I'm not vegetarian....pescetarianism is not vegetarianism....so I guess I can't say anything without sounding hypocritical, but this still is disgusting to me.

:hug: