Got into size 12s..but...
 

I must have been losing iches...cos i got into size 12 stretch jeans from Asda...I didn't want to come on here and post cos..one of my friends made me feel really down..

The conversation went:
Friend:I really wanna gain weight.
Me:Really wat size do u want to be?
Friend:A size 14 would be nice.
Me:Really?I'm a size 14..
Friend; Really?Oh...
(silence)
Friend:But wen u wear size 14 the're really tight aint they?
Me: No...i bought a pair of cordroy trousers size 14 from H&M and they have quite small sizes.
Friend:Oh...Then i don't want to be a size 14..
Me:Laugh...ok then
Friend:I thought u was a size 16 on the bottom and a 14 on the top..
Me:really..Nope

now wen i look in the mirror this is all i can c and all my hard work seems for nothing...cos ive tried so hard and she knows this...there aint nothing wrong with being a size 16...it's just i feel ive come further than that...maybe i haven't and those 12s were mislabelled(i actually tried on several pairs to be sure)...I don't know maybe its just uncle TOM..:(

I wouldn't worry - some people are idiots and your 'friend' sounds like one of them. You know how hard you've worked, you know what the reading is on the scales and you know how well your jeans fit.

IMHO this is a classic case of 'With friends like that who needs enemies'!

Here's a Clothes Size Measurement Chart - just get out a tapemeasure and check for yourself if you want reassurance.

sounds liek she was a bit consumed with her own size in that conversation, not realising how well you have done, proberly just forgetting you have lost weight. If she does not like her own figure she may be a little bit jealous...... but dont hate her, just support her and ignore her comments. Well done for lossing the weight and fitting into small jeans. You should be so happy, id be dancing around asda in nothing but jeans If i was that size lol.

Ignore her you got in a size 12 bolloxs to her.

Please don't let her catty remarks take away your happiness.
Well done you.

Girls can go awful funny in the head sometimes!!!

Michele

I've been thinking about this while I'm walking the dogs - (some amateur psychology coming up...!)

There are some people who just can't cope with their friends being successful at losing weight. Its usually one partner not feeling comfortable with the other partner making what is, in effect, a major life change - because it often alters the dynamics of the relationship. ie the wife begins to feel attractive and feels that she can do better than her husband now.

In your friend's case it might not necessarily have been a conscious thing but maybe in the back of her mind maybe she has always seen herself as the slim one in your friendship and now she's feeling a bit threatened by your new figure - so this putdown was her way of dealing with it.

Probably wrong - but JMHO

I've been thinking about this all morning (well in the 20 minutes I've been up) :)

I recently went out with an old friend, we have been friends for a lot of years. Since I've begun losing weight she is literally mean to me. I don't know another way to put this without sounding like I'm 8 years old.

Basically she is being rude, insulting people that I care about, and just treating me like crap.

She is very overweight and doesn't do much about it so I'm wondering if she is "mad" at me because I did?????

You probably make her feel like a complete failure and she is taking her feelings of low self esteem out on you because you're the one who's making her feel like that.

I've lost two or three larger friends who got upset when I turned traitor and lost the lard.

Sarah's right. When I went down 5 dress sizes I noticed that the people who made the positive coments were all of them already slim, or attractive, or confident (or male!) In fact, the woman who said the nicest thing to me - out of all those people you see everyday but don;t know as friends... she is the prettiest of the lot. In other words, she didn't feel threatened! Those who pretended not to notice I'd shrunk were people who needed to lose a little weight themselves, or less than confident in themselves. In other words, you've shrunk before her eyes and added to [I]her[I] insecurities. Don't let her add to your's.

The fact she's rattled proves you've done well!

I would look for new friends, though...

I was in a size 12 when I was 174 so it is likely your jeans are correctly labelled. I agree with everyone else. She's feeling insecure. Just keep on keeping on and be proud of your new jeans! Congratulations. I recently went down a size myself and am loving it.

SWC - how likely is it that you're friend really wants to put weight on? To be honest I think that that was a strange conversation that was said with the intention (either deliberate or subconscious) of having a dig at you and your dieting because as has been said in other posts she is jealous of how you look now. You don't have to be as thin as someone to be nicer or prettier and she probably sees you as competition now whereas she didn't before. I'm sure you look lovely and you should see her comments as an indirect compliment rather than as criticism as I don't believe it would have come up if she hadn't felt threatened by you. And don't worry your size 12's will be 12's - they don' label them wrongly :) Well done on your weight loss, you've done brilliantly - now enjoy it and love what you see in the mirror ;)

I think her saying that she wants to gain weight and be a size 14 was her way of asking you to say, "OH, you look perfect and I want to get down to your size". When she found out that you are in a 12 - 14 already, it made her jealous. She's afraid you'll be smaller than her, she knows you are are doing great.
My own sister that is at least 30-40 lbs. heavier than me now, has had me take off my jeans to let her try them on. Plus, asks to look at the tags, so she can see what size I wear and if they have any stretch in them. She says, "I don't know why my jeans are bigger sized, I guess I just have more muscle because we look about the same size". Whatever. If it makes her feel better, I don't care.

WTG on the size 12, that sizing is most likely accurate. I could wear a 12 at that weight too. Great job on your weight loss.

Ditto. TO everything that has been said.

Don't worry about your friend, hold your head up and smile and know what a fantastic job you've done and continue to do :hug:

Helllloooo ladies,

I haven't had a chance to get back on the site for this whole weekend...but i'm back and it's monday. Not feeling too good had a little bit of a naughty weekend(snack a jacks and ice cream), I really dont understand why i do it, cos i feel so terrible after, my tummy just hurts:p !!!But It's monday and i'm here:carrot: .So here we go again. Thank you guys for your encouragement. I've actually decided i'd like to start calorie counting just need a little info on this..and also i've started excercising monday to friday Tae Bo classes 40 minutes and Saturday swimming for 1hr and sunday rest day can't wait to loose inches!!!Not too bothered about my friend now i know it's all good there...everyone just needs time to adjust..Thank you girlies for the great advice:hug: !!!

SWC - never mind her. She obviously knows nothing about size - or friendship for that matter - YOu GOT INTO SIZE 12 - (I meant to capitalise this- it is me shouting this back at you.) Repeat after me - SWC got into size 12. Nothing else matters!!!!! YOu got into size 12. Got it?????

Thanks peacock2:hug: !!!I'm here tucking into some home made rice and vegetables...very yummy...i couldnt calorie count i love slimming world too much!!!lol i'm gonna make this week a good week...so i can get into the 160s

Veg and rice is good!

im 154lbs and a size 14.
I think this is partly due to the fact my remaining weight seems to be on my bottom half.
When I stand naturally, you can see my ribs and bones in my top half.
Its the love handles and legs that really irritate me.

Hey! Well done on your size 12 - I really hope I'll be there soon.

That is Awesome
 

Way to go. You should be so proud of yourself. I can't wait to get into size 12. I have already bought them but I can't fit into them yet.
You did well......Be proud of you! Sometimes when I am feeling bad I go to the grocery store. It started when I had first lost weight. I carried around the jug of milk and realized those three pounds I had lost did matter. Then after I had lost 10 pounds I carried around a ten pound bag of potatoes and saw that it was an accomplishment losing those ten pounds. Once I lost 25 pounds, I saw a 25 pound bag of dog food and thought, I don't need to carry it around to realize it. My long winded point is you have done awesome and be proud. I know sometimes friends are jealous and some mean well. It is all about how we are feeling about ourselves. It is funny because I was feeling discouraged and when I read you post I realized that I need to stay focused and try to listen to the good things people say not the negative. I too will one day fit into a size 12 and I can't wait......:)

Your so right i didnt look at it like that but thats the way;) you'll def make make it we all will:carrot:

This strikes such a chord with me! People who you thought wanted the best for you, don't even seem to want to acknowledge that you've lost a lot of weight.
One particular friend told me not to bother when I started shedding pounds because "I had other things going for me" she got totally weird, and stopped wanting to out.
Oh well, it says more about them, than it does about you.
Well done on the size 12 jeans i bought my first pair of size 12 jeans a few weeks ago in about 10 years!!! I thought it was a mistake, I had to check a dozen times.

Size 12! A magic number! Only 3 sizes for me to go! **** of a lot of stones though :( Onwards and upwards.......

It is, but numbers are dangerous, we get so hung up about them, and they're different in every shop!
Keep going peacock, if I got there, ANYONE can.

I can't imagine ever being a size 12 again - but I weigh almost the same as SlimmingWorldChick now, so it might happen one day.

Bigbonedlass - the biggest problems I've had have been with larger 'friends'. Its like they think I've betrayed them by having lost weight. I had one 'friend' who told me that she doesn't feel she and I have got anything in common any more which was strange because I don't recall being fat ever being a topic of conversation - and another acquaintance asked me how I'd lost the weight and then, after I'd answered her, she told me that I had turned in to a diet bore! Huh? Why ask the question if you don't want the answer??

Last summer I got so upset by the way people behaved towards me that I stopped talking about it completely. Nowadays when people ask me about it I just change the subject.

Sarah,
Aren't people strange!
You really have to be strong for yourself. If all you've got in common with someone is that you're both fat, it's really not worth it. I suspect she just felt upset, I hesitate to say jealous, and has more issues with herself, that with you.
I never assume somebody overweight, wants to lose weight, but it sounds like if she was really happy there'd be no problem. As for being a diet bore, some people might be, but real friends let you be yourself and should be encouraging you every step of the way.
My bloody broadband keeps cutting out so I apologise if 10 people have replied and said the same thing before i could post this!

i've just seen how much weight you've lost, Sarah, It's a lot!
well done!