Hi everyone,

I found this site last night and I'm hoping I can get back on the right track, with a little help and support! I realised things had to change when a very dear friend, who lives elsewhere and I don't see very often, invited me to an important celebration and I knew I didn't want to go as I have put on so much weight! How pathetic is that? So there are 4 weeks to the party and I want to lose a stone by then. Ultimately, I would like to get down to 10 stone or lighter! I am now 12st 7lbs and I am 5ft 5ins.

I would very much like any suggestions on how to deal with boredom/stress without snacking. I gave up a stimulating professional career after having three children (including twins) in my late 30s and early 40s. My eldest is 9 and the twins are 4 and I am climbing the walls. I do some part time work, mainly from home but, as my husband is often working abroad, doing more is not really an option. Everyone tells me things will be easier when they are at full time school after Christmas but I don't want to be hiding myself from Christmas celebrations this year!

Any tips on how to avoid retreating into the fridge or food cupboard and how to wean myself off the glass or two of chardonnay in the evening would be much appreciated!

Please don't think I'm the shy retiring type - far from it. Outwardly, I'm very confident and outgoing and many people are surprised when they find out how old I am. Its just that, inwardly, the weight thing has destroyed my self esteem. Is there anyone out there who can relate to this?
Jools

Jools I'm about the same age as you, and also have a few kids - my youngest is also 4. He's gone to school but only half days which is a pain in the backside. I also gave up a career, to bring up my kids!

First the good news - you can lose that weight without giving up the glass of wine! I did various things to lose the weight (still got couple of lbs to go). I started off at nearly 14 st (5' 6") and now I haven't weighed myself for a while, but last time I did I was about 11st 3lb. I've gone from a size 20 (and rising) to a 12 (cept for jeans which would never in a million years fit me at size 12, although most other things do - go figure!)

I have PCOS which makes it 3 times harder to lose weight, so it took me a year to lose it - and I probably still need to lose a couple of lbs, but I'm not sure! Without an udnerlying condition like that, you can lose weight much faster. I dunno about 1 st in a month, but you could certainly get some way and a dress size or two by then!

I did a combination of things - mainly Rosemary Conley. Rosemary has always worked a glass of wine into your daily allowance, and it's never a starvation diet. So she might be good for you. Her latest GI Jeans Diet starts you off at lower cals (1200 ish a day) then you find your own level, depending on your BMR. There are online tools to figure out your Basal metabolic Rate - or tables in Rosemary's books. Her DVDs are also good for people our age - it's fairly sedate exercise!

That said, the one good thing about being stuck at home all day is you can make an hour, or a couple of 20 min sessions, up in the day. I combined walking the dog with interval training (took up running but very gently), a bit of cycling or swimming thrown in. And I like dance and yoga DVDs. The exercise will speed things up, but don't over-do it!

I try and walk the dog for an hour most days and most days when I was losing weight, I ran or did a DVD as well. At the moment, I'm just walking the dog as I'm giving my body a rest!

I knwo what you mean re. confidence, too. Lucky you because you've pinpointed it. I didn't realise until I'd been dieting 6 mths how badly I had been affected by gaining the weight. Like you, I didn't want to go out or face old friends, or people who hadn't seen me a while. I'd been a size 8 all my life, despite PCOS - til I had kids! And I had a period back there where I just thought *Aw you're middle aged, now, you'll have to learn to live with it!* But I've lost 5 dress sizes, since July 2005, and proved to myself I could do it. And also re-found my old self, on the way.

Now I'm confident again. Despite having 5 kids, I've got an OK (ish) figure again. I'll never be the size 8 I was til I was 30, but I'm cool with that. I hope I'll never be size 20 again, either.

It's possible, anyway. I dunno about 1 st in a month, maybe it's dangerous to set goals like that but just say to yourself a couple of lbs a week and you'll be happy. With PCOS I had many weeks where I worked like a trojan, never cheated once on the diet - and lost 0! But I kept going. It helped though not to set big goals, just set rewards for when I hit certain weights. Also, you'd be surprised but losing even a few lbs can change your shape radically, esp if you are toning as you go, with exercise!

I know you can fit a glass of wine or two into WW but then I get 27 points a day!

HI there.

I reckon now that most 'diets' allow wine but it must be counted as a syn or ponts or whatever. In other words if you drink a glass each day - that has to come out of your daily 'budget' points/carories or syns allowed - depending on what system used.

If I was you I would cut it down to 1 glass a night as a special treat.

Perhaps you could jon a gym? Some have a creche if you can only go when your kids are around . Are they at preschool or whatever they call it now?
How about gong for a walk or run when they are not around (taking your mobile with you in case of emergencies of course!).

Check you local community centre for keep fit groups.

It might be worth going to a slimming club (they are usually ok that you have to bring kids with you, if you have to go to an evening one). Rosemary Copnley ones have exercise added in so that is a bonus!

Check out some websites for what classes are near to you.

Swimming would be good too.


(I am assuming you are in UK somewhere - although we do have some from other parts regularly contributing to this board!).

Just occured to me you're also much more likely to stick to a diet that allows you a treat every day! Slower by the week, maybe but you'll end up getting there and staying there. Much less likely to binge if you can have a certain amount of your favourite thing, each day!

I have a glass (or two) of wine every day while I'm preparing and eating dinner - and other occasional treats - the deal I have with myself is that I can only have the wine/treat if I have already done the exercise equivalent to the calories in the wine. No exercise = no wine.

The downside of my little deal is that if I'm planning an evening out with lots of wine I have to exercise like the Duracell bunny BEFORE and then I'm so I usually don't much feel like going out.

That's a good way to work it Sarah. I think that if you do without your treats completely there's a good chance you'll just give up, whereas if you have them in moderation linked in with exercise you're on a winning street.

Hi everyone,
Thank you for responding to my post. Sorry I didn't respond earlier but my computer crashed the day after I posted and had to go away to be mended. (Perhaps caused by the handful of brightly coloured paperclips that Mr Nobody had posted through the CD door of the hard drive!). Anyway, being without the computer shoved up my stress levels so things didn't go too well on the diet front. Lost 1 whole pound! Still, I have taken on board what you have said. I'm going to have a small glass or two of wine on no more than 4 nights of the week. I'm also going to look at the long rather than the short view and aim to be slim for next summer.

PhatPhoenix - I am in awe of what you have achieved!

Jools

Hello Jools
I have a problem with emotional eating, when im stressed or bored i binge. My gp reckons its binge eating disorder and Im going to see a specialist on Friday.
Right now, Ive got the motivation to stick to my plan (apart from a minor lapse this weekend) cos Im getting married in 4 weeks time, so im hoping i dont lose the motivation after the wedding