3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community - How You Perceive Weight of Other People?

Sarah and Helen, I have a relative like that who is younger than me but heavier than I was at my heaviest. And she seems to have a hard time talking to me about food, etc - which is still something I enjoy talking about. But I'm self conscious about sounding preachy and she just seems to be immediately on the defensive. I've also noticed she tries to hide the full extent of her eating in front of me (say if we're together all day) and yet go to extreme lengths to get a bar of chocolate, too when her will goes! And I never say a thing but I feel like she feels judged and watched by me. But most of all it's the defensiveness I can't handle - that she seems to have thought beforehand of 'excuses' or reasons why she eats rubbish, and feels she has to explain herself to me. That makes me really uncomfortable. At the same time I used to be a teacher, and I'd love to use everything I know to help her get fit, feel good about herself, be able to buy nice clothes, etc - but she's not ready to ask me to help. And yet I'd love to help her, and do it in a way that made her feel positive, etc. So I feel I'm on eggshells and I think she does too.

I've noticed other heavier people I've known for ages being quite hostile, although I never even talk about my exercise or diet regime to them. And conversely, slimmer people seem more friendly and curious - most of the people who have asked me how I did it have been thinner, not fatter. What's that all about? But interesting that... it does change not only your perception of other's but their interaction with you, and no-one warns you about that before you start on this whole weight loss thing!