It's the saddest and most difficult thing I've ever had to do in my whole life. He was 14 years old and it was for the best, but still heartbreaking.
Words just can't express...
OK, now that I've probably depressed the **** out of you all, I'm going off to town to find some picture frames so that I can plaster his handsome face all round the house - we have TONS of photos of him from when he was 12 weeks old...
And on Monday we get his ashes back, and he's taking up his final resting place in our fireplace .
What a beautiful dog he was and how brave you were to have done the best by him.
I've been saving this poem to give me courage for when its time for my furry boys, I think says it all really:
The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad, I understand,
but don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me
Although my tail its last has waved
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let you heart hold any tears.
What a wonderful poem, I'm in tears now, I am so sorry for your loss Janey.
I got the email from Runner's World, it's a good article!
We have had d.r.a.m.a.s here over the last couple of days. On Tuesday we rang our real estate agent to report a leak from the bathroom. So they say it's an emergency, and are going to send someone out immediately, we suggest Wednesday but they're adamant it's an emergency call job. So guess what, no one turns up on Tuesday, or Wednesday. On Thursday a man comes and isolates the cold water supply, says the whole bathroom needs replacing, but this will work for now.
So I go to gym on Friday (showering at gym) Col rings me distressed, our living room now looks like the wrong end of Niagara falls.
So I ring the agent, after Col has rung the plumber, they virtually accuse us of doing something wrong. Like we want a flood over a weekend........ I said we needed soemone to see to the carpet and stick a fan under it, she told me just to use towels. I explained to her this was no trickle we were talking about but buckets worth of water. She refuses.
Anyway later in the day Col rings, the plumber has been to see the agents and confessed he made an error, and explained that the living room is a disaster.
So last ngiht Col had a planned party, comes home at 2.30 am as pi****ed as a newt, I had to undress him, wash him and put him to bed (he was going to sleep on the floor on the landing with the cat.......bless......NOT
I dragged him out of bed at 8.30 because the landlord himself was meant to come at 10. I leave to go to yoga. A man turns up to clean the carpet at 9.30, poor Col is virtually naked opening the door to him, and the man plugs in a huge fan, making a massive racket, and poor Col is nursing the hangover from ****. Hahahahahaha
So, we now have dry clean carpet, no leaks, but can only use hot water in the bathroom. Sigh.
Oh Janey, I'm so sorry about your loss...just remember that he knows you loved him so and he'll look down on you as he's frollicking around up there They have every plant you can think of for them to wee on you know
Sarah Ann, that poem is beautiful...I'm crying now after reading it...I can't bear to think of our lives without my Pen and Lew....they're my babies.
Ky, glad to hear you've got Niagara falls sorted....poor Col having to deal with it all being sorted with a horrible hangover....LOL!
Janey, you did the brave and right thing, for him. It's the price we pay for all the years of happiness and unconditional love, they bring us.
I heard someone read this poem on the radio the other year:
The Power of the Dog
by
Rudyard Kipling
There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie--
Perfect passsion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart to a dog to tear.
When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find--it's your own affair--
But ... you've given your heart to a dog to tear.
When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!)
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone--wherever it goes--for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.
We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-term loan is as bad as a long--
So why in--Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
To Sarah and PhatPhoenix - thank you so much for the poems - both summed up our feelings and had us in buckets of (therapeutic) tears. Keeper was one third of our family - our beloved baby - and the loss is immeasurable. We spent yesterday sorting through all our photos of him (we literally have hundreds from when he was 12 weeks old until the day before he died) and that really helped - it still feels as if he's here, and will come up wagging his tail for a cuddle and a Bonio at any second. Our house is imbued with him - we got him as a puppy one week after we moved here - and his spirit is still here, and soon his ashes will be too!
His tumour was huge, and he was simply worn out at the end. We know we did the right thing, and we have no regrets about our actions- but we miss him so much!
Thanks for all your kindness, everyone. It really helps knowing that other people have some idea of how this feels.
I'm fine but just worn out. My father is in hospital with anaemia and had to be transfused through the night Friday and then some more blood yesterday.
He is in good form though but it has just been so worrying. As I have said many times before my father is one stubborn old paddy, added to that I have my mother to sort out too. She is Schziophrenic and frets without him, and isn't unable to do that much herself without lots of prompting.
Anyway my father is still on the ward but will come home shortly feeling much better I hope.
I've not exercised for days whilst this has all been going on.
Michele - I hope your Dad gets better soon. It must be so hard for you worrying about him and helping out with your Mum at the same time.
Janey - Our boys are a part of our family as well. Probably more so than some of the human members! As Brit says, he'll be waiting for you and he'll know you did your absolute best for him. Oh God - I'm going to cry again - my dogs think I've gone nuts, I can't stop cuddling them.
What a miserable day! I've just come back from a 2 hour walk in the drizzling rain. Such a shame, there was a sponsored walk for charity and part of the route was 7.5 miles across the Moors. The organisation was appalling and the directions they had been given were incorrect, meaning that all these poor, wet people were trundling along not knowing that they had gone completely wrong! The instructions said go left at first junction of paths and it should have been at second junction - going left at the first junction would take you really deep in to the Moors! When I backtracked along their route I finally found someone 'in charge' - and all she did was giggle when I told her!
Sage & Lemon Roast Chicken for dinner today - yum - with roast garlic sweet potatoes, kale, braised carrots and my low GI version of sage & onion stuffing.
for you Janey - he is indeed a beautiful beast He looks ever so dignified in that picture
for you Michelle, look after yourself too.
I went to the gym on Friday and did my whole body, I decided I wouldn't go to yoga since I was feeling... well a bit windy and I decided to go home and cook dinner for Mr Frus!
On Saturday we took the posh coach to Birmingham, I bought wedding shoes from faith (reduced from £40 to £30!!!!) and then a load of summery clothes and bikinis from Primark! We had a lovely meal in a nice pub by the canal, it was a bit greasy for Superwoman on her diet, and we had pudding too! but it'll work out ok! I had a lovely turkey sandwich from Eat for lunch, so it wasn't like I was stuffing my face all day!
This morning, sorry afternoon, we woke up and had our porridge, then off to the European food market, it was nearing the end of the day for them so there wasn't much left, but we got some Ewe's and Cow's milk cheese, and a whopping slice of banana cake. We bought some granary rolls in Sainsbury's and ate our bread and cheese in the park. We came home for banana cake and David Attenborough's Planet Earth on video. Then I slept till about 10 minutes ago! Going to make us some lovely dinner now - Sleeping and eating's what I do best!
I've had a really exciting day. I missed swimming because I slept in. Then I cleaned the oven, oh joy. Which in my book counts as aerobic exercise Then watched Two Fat Ladies on video. I haven't had a "do nothing" day for ages!!!! No gym, no nothing!!! Hehehehehe
Holeeee freakin COW! I stood on the scales this morning.... Anyone wanna guess??
I'm UP 7lbs! 7 whole flabby pounds! Aaaargh! And yes it probably is all fat - that's the reason my trousers don't fit any more! How can I do that to myself in less than a week??? I was even good on Friday and yesterday - so this is after 2 good days!!! Lawdy knows what it was on Friday morning!
*sigh*
Anyway, I'm off kickboxing tonight and I'd run down to the gym at lunch if it wasn't thrashing it down! We'll see what it's doing at lunch!
Well I suppose I need to make my "to do" list and get on with it!
.
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He looks ever so dignified in that picture 
and I decided to go home and cook dinner for Mr Frus!
We had a lovely meal in a nice pub by the canal, it was a bit greasy for Superwoman on her diet, and we had pudding too! 
Going to make us some lovely dinner now - Sleeping and eating's what I do best! 
COW! I stood on the scales this morning.... Anyone wanna guess??
7 whole flabby pounds! Aaaargh! And yes it probably is all fat - that's the reason my trousers don't fit any more! 
How can I do that to myself in less than a week??? I was even good on Friday and yesterday - so this is after 2 good days!!! Lawdy knows what it was on Friday morning! 