[Smiling Sal]

Can you believe it's the first of September already and here I am just the same as I was in on January the first.

I have some serious thinking about my life to do - thats sounds very ominous. But I need to decide what to do job wise, health wise and most importantly what I want to do for me. I realised last night for the first time in a lot of years I don't have a plan, I don't have an clear picture of where I want to go, so how am I going to know when I get there or even how to get there.

The only thing I know I want is to lose weight and be healthly, but again I haven't sat down and planned the route. Previously I lost about 3 stone by planning, but as I was younger and less wise I put it all back on and some more over the years.

So today when the boys are off playing I'm going to think about where I want to go with my whole life. Years ago on a training course, we did some planning with circles. In the centre circle you wrote were you were now, in the circle outside that we wrote we we would like to be in 2 years time and in the circle outside that where we would like to be in 5 years. It was for a lot of stuff, not just work, but think I need to do the circle thing again and then spend some time over the next few days planning how I am going to get there, slimming clubs, further education for work stuff, sleeping with the boss (only kidding about that one, just wanted to see if anyone was still awake after reading all this - my current boss is a woman and very nice but not my type )

On the slimming front I would like to join a slimming club of some sort, just for the getting weighed bit, I get all the support I need to keep me on the straight and narrow from you, I just don't stick with it. I do though need to know I am getting weighed every week and it is important. I need to convince myself that my Thursday morning weigh ins in my bathroom are as important and vital as if I was paying £4+ to go to weight watchers. Prehaps I should charge myself to stand on the scales - now there is an idea I can follow up. Pay £2 to stand on the scales and when I reach a target I can go and spend it on myself - does need some serious consideration.

Eating though I need a big kick up the bum. Am a bit down at the moment, think Rays shifts, the atmosphere at work and the fact I am exhausted and trying to do everything on my own at home is getting me down. But I keep smiling and nobody really knows how I feel. I am always the cheeful one in the group who can see the positive side of a situation. I know I need to make more time for myself, at the moment long hot baths are the easiest for me todo, so tonight when the boys are in bed and Ray is on his way home from work, you know where I'll be with my book and a glass of juice.

I'm also drinking far too much fizzy juice and wine. Although I am drinking less alchol than I used to, the fizzy juice is taken over so I have to get back to the blackcurrent juice and water.

This is all very profound for a Sunday morning, but I think the changing of the calendar to another month this morning has made me sit up and take note.

I feel this could be the turning point I have been waiting for all year, planned correctly I could hang onto this enthusiam and zest for ages and become successful.

I feel I am at that stage of my life where my weight is holding me back from the stuff I want to do, I feel it blots what people think of me, how can I be capable of doing anything serious when I can't control my weight ????????

I am the only one stopping me

Sorry for rambling on but just had to get it out of my system. First time I step of the tracks, remind me of this post will you and kick my butt untilI get back on plan and get this weight off

Thank you for reading this

Carol

[Delaney]

Hello - just testing to see if I am REALLY back...

[Smiling Sal]

yes Melissa your back and stuck with us now

[Delaney]

Oh it feels great to be back - I've been trying to get on for a fortnight now - heaven only knows what my computer was up to Thanks very much to Veggie/Suzanne and TQ for their help in getting me back here - it took Dave about 2 hours on Friday night with all your e-mail help... Thanks guys

Carol - what you've just written is how I was feeling about 4 weeks ago - I too had to totally re-evaluate my life, was I going to get a job now that the kids are in school? Am I going to join a gym/diet club or just gain/lose weight constantly. I decided to write everything down in a lovely little notebook I bought just for my thoughts (not that there's many of them!!) I've lost 6lbs since then, joined a gym and WW and decided (with the help of Dave) that I'm going to have a year out; decorating, enjoying some peace and then this time next year I'll look into college or work or something. Just reading your mail has inspired me to continue what I'm doing. I am determined to wear a lovely dress from a regular shop (not Evans) for New Years Eve! Good luck Carol you can do it - we all can.

I'm going to go and catch up with everyone's mail now that I'm back - speak to you later...

[Smiling Sal]

Have a big challenge to face on my first day of being the new me.

Have been promising to take the boys to the pictures all weekend to see spy kids, but they keep playing out and I leave them with their pals as it is good they are in the fresh air.

Well we are going to day - no excuses, so the first challenge is no popcorn and then nothing from McDonalds on the way home - like to make things easy for myself.

The plan - take some grapes into the film and buy a diet cola to sweeten me up. Prepare a dinner for me before I go and warm it up when I come back after being through the drive through with the boys.

Just what I like a nice easy day to start back on the big plan

Sorry for monoplosing this thread - just gotta get myself organised.

Kitchen here I come

Also looking at buying a new bed from the catalogue as mine is years old and not helping my back, might as well paint the room while I'm at it - never one to do things by half.

[Posy]

Carol
I think you have already recognised that you need a plan...the one thing I would say is don't plan too far ahead...yes by all means set yourself a goal. but when it comes down to planning your routine...do it on a daily or weekly basis...I have found in the past that if I tried to plan out my entire journey I never reached it...this time I have done it on a daily basis, usually the night before...and prepare to be flexible...unexpected things happen...make sure you can change what you planned if you need to. That is one of the benefits of counting calories...if you unexpectedly eat something higher for your lunch than you intend to, its easier to cut down for your dinner..or the next day.

As for paying £2 to weigh yourself...another good idea...The only thing about that is that sometimes you may find yourself a little short of the reddies and be tempted to say I'll pay double next week...and you never do...the way I do it is for every pound I lose my hubby puts £1 into my money box...if I gain anything...for every pound I gain I have to give the same amount back to my hubby....I hate giving my hard earned money back to him, so that gives me more of an incentive to keep losing than just putting money into the box for actually getting weighed...does that make any sense?
Your plan for the trip to the cinema is a great one...while your in the drive through and smelling all the burgers...you keep reminding yourself of your last post and that you have a much healthier and probably more filling meal all ready for you at home
Good luck

Delaney...welcome back...congratulations on you 6lbs loss...a great start...sounds like you have a good plan too.....the feeling of going into a regular shop and buying something is fantastic....the most fantastic feeling is knowing when you buy it...IT FITS !!!!

Well only 28lbs to go now...but strangely enough these last 28lbs I Hope will make all the difference....I know I look so much better than when I started...not to mention feeling better too.
But there is still a lot of me that I am not happy with, and I am hoping the last 28lbs will change that....Its no surprise at all that after carrying around 25 stone 4lbs for so many years I do have loose skin on my tummy and my arms and I am aware that some of that may still be there when I reach my goal...I will just need to wait and see...But with all the exercise I have been doing I have noticed just over the past month how much it has gone...so thats really what I mean about the last 28lbs making all the difference.
And yes it is possible you just keep believing it.
I have always said that if by putting my story online and helping just one person reach their goal it will all have been worth it...I think you will probably remember me talking about my friend Dave...he is my life saver when it comes to my computer...I know nothing about them...he knows everything.
Well back in March he weighed 15 stone 3lbs and wanted to be around 12 stone .
I worked out a plan for him to follow and he reached his target ( well actually under his target 11 stone 13lbs ) on friday...he is over the moon. Especially as he now has to start increasing his calories until he finds the right amount to eat to keep his weight stable. He said he does still find it difficult to eat as much as I tell him he should eat now. He wont find it as difficult as he thinks he will because I will just show him that he can increase the amount of the higher calorie part of his meal and cut down on the amount of calorie free food like the veg that is just used to fill up.
He made the point that a lot of people who say they get hungry when they are on a diet is because they really don't believe they can eat as much veg as we eat...I have a serving platter that I eat my meals from and every night it is piled high...if I had a digital camera I would take a photograph of one of my meals to show you all how much I eat....hmmm...might ask for one for my birthday
It was a great boost for me too...I helped someone

well I better go I need to set the vcr for the world superbikes or hubby will have me in the divorce courts

Have a great weekend everyone And Carol..enjoy the movie

Ali

[Delaney]

Posy - DH has just read your post about your friend Dave losing so much weight and he said 'thats going to be me my Christmas' -thank you.

I agree with what you said about setting goals - but not too far into the future - I think that's where I've slipped up in the past - now I work Wednesday to Wednesday (WW weigh ins). This week I think I've lost 2lbs and I had McDonalds with the kids, I had McChicken Sandwhich, regular fries and diet coke. I had to take in my ww book to work out the points but I still managed to work it into my plan, I knew I wouldn't be able to take the kids and not eat - so if you can do that Carol - RESPECT!!

I'm thinking of painting my bedroom too Carol - what colour are you planning on? I'm currently going for gold/beige with duvet/curtains in burgundy - not sure yet...

See you later.

[Smiling Sal]

Am planning to do the bedroom lilac / lavender colour - not completely decided yet, with a pale green stencil - looks nicer than it sounds - honestly

[Delaney]

I've just done Sprog #2's bedroom lilac walls, oatmeal coloured curtains with lilac and green flowers on them and topped it off with a lilac and green rug - it looks lovely. The only problem now is that Sprog #1 wants the same!!

[tupperware queen]

Thanks for writing your thoughts down for us to share Carol, it sounds like we all think about the same things!!!!! Great to hear from you too Delaney, it seems like you are really focussed too.
Ali-It must be a great feeling to only have 28lb to lose, you will see a big difference when the last 2 stone have gone.

I know the difference between a size 26 and size 16 is a good start but i really still feel uncomfortable and am still obese, i really can't wait to reach a healthy weight and feel great. Another 4 stone should do it. I have reached target before and that was 10 stone 7lb, I managed to stay at that weight for years but it wasn't easy. i will settle for 11-13 this time but am just taking it one week at a time, I know with your help i can do it, i know I am not alone, I also know that I am the only one who can get me to that weight, we are all capable just sometimes we forget that we can do it, we have to keep reminding each other.

I am going to try and get into a size 14 for christmas!!

[Smiling Sal]

A size 14 is a good dream - you gotta have a dream, else how you gonna have a dream come true ....

I'm aiming on being 2 stone lighter come Christmas, in my heart I am hoping I can be below the 200lbs (14 stone 4lbs) mark and in what our American friends call Onederland. 2 stone 1lb will take me there - in 4 months. It can be done, it will be done.

I dream of being a size 16 as well, my friend weighs the same as me, but is about 5 inches taller than me at 5 foot 10 and is a snug size 16, an 18 for comfort, while me at 5 foot 5 (on a good day) have to squash into a 20 or a 22 for comfort.

Life just isn't far, with a little more height I could several sizes smaller as the weight has more places to distribute itself - shouldn't gripe about things I can't change

Off to tidy a bit more of this tip I call home

[tupperware queen]

Oh to be in onederland would in deed be wonderful!! I haven't been there since early 1995 !!

I am in a much more positive frame of mind this morning, I was vile last night (but with good reason ) and I can't even blame PMT

I told myself I wouldn't turn the computer on till the evening but hey i just couldn't resist. It's gonna be a long day and I plan to walk to work this afternoon, will try to remember to use my pedometer and see how many miles I clock up!!

Have a great week ladies!! Onward and downward!!

[Delaney]

Just taking a break from sewing name tags onto the kids clothes -I don't really have time to stop but I'm just sick of 'getting ready for school' I'll be glad when its upon us and I can get some peace (don't I sound like a moany old bag?) (you don't have to answer that!!)

I'm in a bad mood 'cause I weigh myself every morning (I know I shouldn't but can't stop) anyhoo, this morning 'they' say I've gained 2lbs which is a physical impossibility... I have worked out at gym 3 times this week, been swimming and really watching what I eat!! I know its official weigh in tomorrow at WW but just had to share that with someone - really miffed. Thanks for listening...

TQ - well done on getting back into your positve frame of mind. and Carol - you've spurred me on... I want to lose 1lb per week until Christmas which will take me to the 15.12 mark or thereabouts which will make me a very happy bunny as last Christmas I was 18.4 - I know that seems REALLY slow but the way I see it is the slower it comes off the longer it stays off.

I don't know if I've already mentioned this but sorry if I have... but were going out for New Years Eve (not done that for about 7 years due to sprogs) I am determined to buy a 'normal' dress from Wallis and not go in some tent from Evans.

Oh well the sewing beckons...

[Arwen]

I'm not sure where to post this but really need to talk to someone, if only to get it off my chest. My 3 year old daughter has had me in tears all afternoon because she called me fat, I can feel my eyes filling up as I type. I asked her to repeat what she said because I couldn't believe I had heard her correctly. She then said I had a fat bum and legs. After I'd got upset she did say that she wouldn't say it again to me (or anyone else) then had a nap and when she woke up the first thing she said was "I won't call you fat again Mummy", which just re-inforced my feelings.

I know she is correct, I AM fat, (although the vast majority is on my stomach) but I've been like this since she's known me and I didn't think she would even notice. I also know she is only 3 and hasn't learnt to lie yet but I just feel so upset

[Smiling Sal]

Helen I wish I had some comforting words, kids can be cruel but please take heart that she loves you.

My boys (4 & 7) and their pals use the 'fat' word as an insult to each other and I hate it when they describe someone as 'fat' which in their slang means stupid. I look down at myself and try and think what it says about me. I have had many a tearful evening once they have gone to bed, Ray has eventually managed to persuade me that they are not doing it as an insult to me personally or any other larger person. But it still cuts right through me when I hear them or their wee pals saying it.

We are the same weight Helen, if we both work at it out kids will be calling us flattering names within a few months

On that note I am being an If I had a halo this week I would give it a polish.

I have stuck to 1500 calories for the last 2 days with today going to be the third. I nearly fell off the wagon today, I was sent out to a different site and the chocolate machine was calling my name, but I just let it call and carried on with my work.

Lots of mundane *****y moany down and used feelings at work at the moment. I am trying to rise above it all, but it isn't easy. Was quite glad to get out of the main office today. I'm sure they are several ways to reorganise a company but the way Scottish Enterprise is doing it isn't the one to be reccommended.