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Old 12-16-2009, 06:52 AM   #91  
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My husband has never said anything to me about my weight and has never acted like I embarassed him in any way. I am surprised to because his father is the type that says rude things and has said them to me in the past. I never said anything to him when he made rude comments, I would just go home and cry to my husband. My husband never heard his father say these comments but over the years he did talk to his father about the things he said, trying to get him to stop.

My new SIL is my build/weight and he said things to her at first but boy, she stands her ground and I have thanked her many times for it. She lets him know he is rude and what she thinks of his comments.

Since he stopped making these comments I have lost weight and now he compliments me on how good I look...I take his compliments with a grain of salt though.

I am very lucky that I have a husband who loves me for being me and I wish everyone had the same.

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Old 12-16-2009, 08:30 AM   #92  
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I've never really had a boyfriend who had a problem with my size. But an ex of mine, used to get frustrated when I'd say I want to lose weight and would be like just do it stop talking about it. Even though the essence of what he was saying was correct he'd say it in the most patronising and rude way ever. Oh and yet he'd constantly buy me chocolate and then say 'well have u started yet? ' and it would really bug me! However a week after we broke up I started my weight loss so I await the day I see him again and just give a MASSIVE smile because I've most definitely started!
Xxx
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Old 12-21-2009, 02:53 AM   #93  
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Originally Posted by SoulSurvivor View Post
But an ex of mine, used to get frustrated when I'd say I want to lose weight and would be like just do it stop talking about it.
Xxx
Mine did this, but I did not mind. He was simply annoyed at my moaning about my situation which only I could change - and nthen not changing it.

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Old 12-21-2009, 03:36 AM   #94  
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My husband is fit as a fiddle. In fact, he's a fitness freak and is very good looking, too. When we go out together, people ask me if he's my YOUNGER BROTHER! It bothers me no end but till date he has never actually told me that I am fat or that he's being short-changed by having a lazy lump for a wife.

However, a month ago, he began telling me that I have a nice face and that if I lost weight, I would look sooooooooo good. I did find it insulting in the beginning - the notion I could only be truly attractive if I had a slim body - but I let it go. But he kept on and on and on about it and it eventually got to the point where his repeated comments about my 'nice face' got me into this 'determined to lose weight' mode. Maybe this is your hubby's way of motivating you? Maybe he is just suffering from a bout of 'stick-foot-in-mouth-vitis'?

Some of these guys really don't have a clue about how to motivate their wives - could he just be one of them? If you don't think so and if he really was being insensitive, then you have more than just weight loss issues on your hand. I'm so sorry...hang in there and maybe he'll realize what a jerk he's been to you.
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Old 12-30-2009, 09:32 AM   #95  
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My BF is *9 months pregnant* as we say, so he's got nothing on me! LOL
We met when we were already overweight and we love each other as we are. It's bliss. I feel beautiful and loved.
He does have his fav parts of my body, so do I on his. That's ok, nothing wrong with that.
We do talk about our weight and are very down to earth about it. We made ourselves overweight, if we don't like it, only we can do something about it. So when one of us is complaining about not being able to do something psychical we always reply: Well, you know what you can do to change that, don't you?

My ex was different. He was, and still is as far as I know, a very handsome and slim man. When I met him is was slightly overweight but nothing alarming. I did gain weight, a lot of weight in my five years with him. He complained about it and made stupid remarks. Like: you have a really nice butt, but it's big.

At that time I wasn't the person I am now and I had no reply. If my BF would make such remarks now, I would tell him where to put them!

People, not only men, can make such painful remarks about someones weight! Most of the time they are not even aware what they are actually saying! I'm happy to 'educate' these people when they make remarks that pain me.
Never, ever, let people, especially your partner/family/friends get away with making painful remarks without telling them it pains you!
I actually told off my grandfather over Christmas for making a remark on me putting some sugar in my tea. I told him I could make my own choices, thank you very much! He was baffled and dropped the subject. Hihi!

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Old 12-30-2009, 09:55 AM   #96  
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Name calling, critisizing, degrading, belittling or anything negative in nature toward anyone in a relationship is unacceptable. Their insecurities are not your problem. Ditch em.
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Old 12-30-2009, 01:14 PM   #97  
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My boyfriend never came out and said "youre fat!". His exgf was sick or something and weighed like 90 lbs and complained about being fat. When we first got together I had lost about 30-40 lbs and was feeling good about myself but I guess I got comfortable and started putting some back on and he noticed and said that he wanted to get in shape and would I do it with him. I know he was just saying hey ure getting fat, without actually saying it. Nothing came of that and I gained a ton more and he noticed and didnt say I should lose weight cause its unattractive but he was worried about my health and didnt want to see me get sick or anything. But still he never has called me fat and I appreciate that he is helping me when I ask.
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Old 06-25-2018, 01:00 PM   #98  
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divorce his dumbass
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Old 10-18-2018, 05:38 PM   #99  
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[QUOTE=hayhurst;2583629]My husband is 15 years my senior and told me my weight was a problem in our marriage. He is not attracted to fat women! I want to lose weight for me and have lost 20lbs. in the past month from healthy food choices and exercise an hour a day. I just can't believe he said this to me. I now feel so uncomfortable around him. I am feeling angry, and confused.[/QUOTE yes lost 17 pound he’s still says am like a whale. Went from 16 stone 1pound now 14.12 feel awfull and fat most days
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Old 10-19-2018, 08:26 PM   #100  
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My husband has also said, many many times, that he was very unhappy with my overweight. It made me feel very angry, resentful, embarrassed, and it did nothing to "make me" lose weight. I am so sorry that his comments are hurting you. Some men are just brutally honest, hoping their wives will change. I am sorry you are going through this and my hope is that you do lose weight.... for yourself.
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Old 10-20-2018, 10:20 AM   #101  
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[QUOTE=Jojo2121;5372079]
Quote:
Originally Posted by hayhurst View Post
My husband is 15 years my senior and told me my weight was a problem in our marriage. He is not attracted to fat women! I want to lose weight for me and have lost 20lbs. in the past month from healthy food choices and exercise an hour a day. I just can't believe he said this to me. I now feel so uncomfortable around him. I am feeling angry, and confused.[/QUOTE yes lost 17 pound he’s still says am like a whale. Went from 16 stone 1pound now 14.12 feel awfull and fat most days
I agree divorce.
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Old 10-20-2018, 05:45 PM   #102  
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Yes I can't go into detail to upset but yes my husband has I hate myself enough xxx
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Old 02-23-2019, 03:34 AM   #103  
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Men want to be proud that their your women. Its only natural. When they bring their women around to finally meet friends and family their is a little bit of ego involved. They want someone on their arms who at least looks after themselves, health and body.

I remember an obese chick saying guys should love her for who she is and she was unwilling to lose weight…unfortunately thats just not how the world works. Would you be attracted to a guy who was fat and didn’t care health or their body?

Its great your husband is being honest but should of been in a more supporting way. Some men can be really direct with it.
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Old 04-22-2019, 02:39 AM   #104  
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My boyfriend hasn't directly said to me that I'm fat but whenever I eat cake or other sweet stuff he always says that I should cut down. I know it's not healthy but I'm so used to snacking that I get grumpy if I don't eat something sweet every few hours.

I have gone from 14 to 16 stone in the last year and I'm starting to get worried that my boyfriend will not find me attractive anymore. Also, I think I should do something about my love for sugar. Any advice?

J.
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Old 04-22-2019, 08:56 AM   #105  
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It's hard to break a sugar addiction, but I think if you worked toward eating more healthy foods eventually you might not be interested in the sweets. They are learning more and more about the damage sugar causes to our bodies. But you should do this for you, not for your boyfriend. Even if he is no longer your boyfriend at some time in the future, you still have to live with your body, and you want to be the best you can be. I feel he makes the comments to help you, and you should take heed.
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