Sassy, I was thinking...if you wanted to buy your DH a recliner, but he needs to pick it out himself, you could always set aside the $, then wrap up a box with the money and a picture of a recliner cut out of a store ad -- and a note that you'll go with him to pick it out the day after Christmas That actually works with any bulky gift, to wrap up a picture of it -- I've hidden things in closets and wrapped up tiny boxes with only a picture inside. I did that when I bought my kids a PlayStation 2, because they all knew exactly the size and shape and weight of the box because they'd been drooling over it at the store for months.

I didn't post on this thread before, so I hope this isn't repeating what's already been said, but I was wondering what some of your favorite holiday traditions are with your families -- whether they cost a bit, or are low-cost or free. For example, we love to:

- drive around the ritzy neighborhoods to look at Christmas lights, playing Christmas CD's on the car stereo
- go to SF to the Dickens Christmas Fair the day after Thanksgiving (that kicks off the season for us)
- take in a matinee with Noah (this year it will be "Happy Feet")
- go to a Christmas concert or church Christmas program (one year, I really want to go to a Messiah sing-along)
- drink real hot chocolate (not Quik, but we'll still use 1% milk ) while we decorate the tree. This year I think we'll put in a little Peppermint Schnapps...that's called a Sleigh Ride, and it's soooooooo good...
- we always watch these DVD's: Charlie Brown Christmas, A Christmas Story, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and my favorite is A Christmas Carol -- the one with George C. Scott as Scrooge, he was amazing. And I always try to watch those cheesy cartoons on TV if I can catch them, like Frosty and Rudolph.

I'm sure I can think of more, but it's really late. What does your family do?

GREAT idea Mary Kate! I'll have to remember the picture thing some time.

Traditions...

With DH#1 we always bought a live tree on Dec 1st and out decorating started then. When he passed I bought an artificial tree and we started our decorating the weekend after Thanksgiving. It has gotten even earlier and now for the last 9 years we do our outdoor decorating on Thanksgiving Day and the inside usually the following day. This year was a little earlier so Josh would come home to Christmas.

We always had our Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve and then go to Mass later on that evening. Midnight Mass at 10, lol. But with Josh in the Army this year that tradition went out the window. We will still attend Mass but dinner??? Not sure. Mass just started a few years ago but we started the Christmas Eve dinner when the kids were little so that we could go to over to my family's for Christmas Day. Once they left the state it was just a day for us to relax and eat leftovers and still is today!

We too love to drive around looking at the lights with Christmas music playing. I've done that since I was a little girl and continued with my children. Of course now they are older and not into it but me and Vince do it still.

I always play Christmas music while doing the decorating and cooking.

And as of last year a new tradition is going to the show on Christmas day. We did it last year and plan on doing it again this year. I was amazed at how many people actually go.

And movies? Well...Christmas isn't Christmas for us without seeing A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, Charlie Browns Christmas, Sleepless in Seattle, While You Were Sleeping (saw that 3 times last week,lol) and Home Alone 1 & 2.

And...music, can't leave out the music...Mariah Carey's CD, Michael Bolton, Mannheim Steamroller, Elvis, Home Alone 1, Neil Diamond, John Berry and Martina McBride.

Hi Sassy...well your inlaws have everything and want nothing? My first thought would be to get them exactly what they want -- nothing. But that can be awkward, and could cause hurt feelings, even if they never like what you give them and give stuff away, etc. So...

gift cards. I know, you said "besides gift cards", but at least they could pick out their own stuff. Or a gift card to their favorite fancy restaurant -- give them a night on the town

gift certificate for an auto detailing, or some other service.

tickets to a play or concert they really want to see.

food that you know they love, or a really good bottle of wine, an expensive liquor they like, gourmet coffees, something consumable. Just make sure it's something you KNOW they love, the exact brand/flavor/variety they would splurge on for themselves.

a gorgeous holiday flower arrangement that will die and they can throw away the first week of January.

If they truly do not appreciate any gift you give them, then...a donation to their favorite charity in their name. Buy toys for the children's receiving home; or food for the soup kitchen in their town; diapers, toiletries, and warm clothes for the women's and children's shelter. Give them a card that says, on their behalf, you fed 10 homeless men Christmas dinner. A warning, though -- if you start this type of gift giving, then they are likely to reciprocate in kind. But...that's not such a bad present to receive, is it? And very much in the spirit of Christmas.

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

Peace,
Mary Kate

Thanks Mary Kate for all the lovely suggestions. We think we found something for my mil that she might actually like, not so sure on my fil yet.

Yes for their bdays and anniversaries, we do not buy them anything but a card and sometimes we take them out to dinner, but that is all. But they did buy us a new bed for both of our bdays/anniversary/Christmas, so we feel like we should get them at least something.

I had a thought, but I doubt that DH would like it and not sure how the in-laws would react to it. We got a $100 gift card to a fancy steak place, but personally I really don't want to go, as its not my "cup of tea". And fil has already asked mil if we are taking them when we go. (MIL didn't appreciate him asking that). But the thing is they already KNOW we got it from the car dealership. Unless we say we just went and got them one since we know they both like it?

I dunno we'll come up with something I'm sure.

I think it's fine to give them the gift certificate, esp. if you give them a little something else along with it. I'm sure they'll be thrilled!

a question: I'm hosting a new years party. It was supposed to be an intimate gathering with only close friends, so we've made it a BYOB (only in spirit though...it's more of a champagne/wine gathering.) party. Everybody was fine with that, since there were only going to be 8 or so of us and there'd be plenty of drinks to go around if everybody brought some. Well my guy friend invited this girl he really likes (too young for him!) and another male friend of his that I've never met before. They're both underage. This makes me uncomfortable for three reasons.

A. They're underage. 'Nuff said.
B. It was supposed to be a small group of really close friends. He's the only one that knows these two.
C. They'll be mooching drinks off of us.

Okay, I don't know the proper etiquette here. Do I tell them to give my friend money to buy something for them? Do I tell them they can't drink? It's not like this is a big get-drunk-party. There will be alchohol, but that's not the point or purpose of the night.

What do I do here? I can't uninvite them, even though it's my party, I wasn't the one to invite them in the first place.

Hi MartiniTheRampage,

Thanks for your opinion, I greatly appreciate it!

About your party, I say it goes by House Rules and if your haveing it at your House, then I say you get the say so of what goes and what does not go.

I had sort of an exp. close to this one myself, years and years ago. I had a party and invited some friends, only a few friends like you did. One of my friends showed up with a "posse" of his friends, which was fine with me, the more, the merrier. Until they asked if it was alright if they smoked Marijuana in my house. (Well at least they asked first!) I kindly said, "I don't care if you smoke it, just not in my house and not around me." So they all went outside and soon after left. (Good Ridence I say!) lol.

So that is my opinions. Not sure on the Proper Etiquette and all, but that is how I handle it. If anything, tell your friend however you want it and let him pass it on to his friends.

MartiniTheRampage,

I found this site that may be helpful as well:

Safe Holiday Party Planning a Safe Holiday Party

It's not at my house. I was the only one who went away to school, and I'm going down there for the holidays. But it's at a different friends house, not the friend who invited the kids ( ) and there aren't really any house rules about this particular thing.

But I'm the unofficial coordinator/official guest of honor. so I haven't seen these guys since the semester started...that's why it kind of bummed me out when he said that he was going to be bringing two complete strangers. Normally I wouldn't mind, but...it's OUR night! lol. And I don't want to be responsible for them drinking. Something tells me they're going to be three sheets to the wind before the night's up...

Thanks for the link! It's really helpful.

I think these guys only want to be there because they think it's "that kind of party." lmao, maybe I can trick them into drinking non-alchoholic beer? I'll definitely buy sparkling grape juice/sparkling cider!

Tell the friend who invited the underage, young people that they are welcome to come to your home but they may not drink alcoholic beverages at your home. Period. If you can't stand up for your rights in your home...If they leave there and something awful happens, accident, date rape, etc. you are legally responsible. I raised alot of kids and grandkids, it is hard enough for teens to make good decisions sober. They might act offended but they will respect you for your stand.

Hey MartiniTheRampage,

Even if its not at your house, you said that, I think that gives you the right to let your friend know that his friends are welcome to come, but since they are underage, they won't be able to drink, like Idahosenior said.

and remember its YOUR night, so enjoy it, don't let them ruin it for ya!