I need to share something with you all. Several days before this tragic incident I started to become depressed. As the time drew near to the incident, my depression became more severe. The night before the incident, I told my husband that something was soon going to happen involving planes and that I didn't think we were going to be able to make our trip to New York (we had already booked our flight for the 22nd of this month).

On the 11th of September (a day of infamy), when my husband heard the news, he called me to check on me. He told me that he couldn't believe that I was right. He also told me that I had been having nightmares for several days about being in the plane and trying to help the other passengers and fighting the hijackers. Because of my depression, he didn't want to tell me that he had had to hold me down several times while I was fighting in my sleep.

You will hear much about PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). People who suffer from this have severe onsets of depression, sudden anxiety attacks, tremors, memory loss, and more symptoms. I am one of those people who suffer from PTSD. It is not as severe as it once was, and I have managed fairly well. My husband teases me (very gently and very kindly) about my short term memory loss if I forget to do something for him that he has asked me to do. When I am stressed and/or upset, my body seems to go into protective mode and I don't remember things. That is why I didn't know about the nightmares I had.

As for my depression, it has eased considerably; although, I am very sad about this terrible tragedy. None of us can help but to have our lives changed by this tragedy, and I am no exception.

On a lighter note, I have continued to stay on the program. I have decided that while I am on this program that I am not going to eat dinner out any more. The last time we went out for dinner, I developed another abdominal infection which caused me to gain 10 pounds (again). I have lost 5 of the 10, but my abdomen is still rather swollen. I wish I knew what it was that is causing this reaction.

I was going to write more, but suddenly have the need to get out of the house. Please, everyone, take care of yourselves. We all need this goal of losing weight to continue so that we can feel some normalcy in our lives. This is not an excuse to go off program (any more than I had an excuse not to eat).

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Lee

Pam posted this on the other thread so i thought that i should bring it over so we all can say hi and welcome her to the bus!!! (she means buisness!!!)

gbo
Junior Member

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: Alabama
Posts: 26
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09-13-2001 04:26 PM profile | pm | | search | buddy list edit | quote

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Greetings all. My name is Pam ,I am 47 and have been a shut in for about 8 years. I have been heavy since childhood and extremely overweight since puberty. I spend alot of time doing genealogy, writing and crochet. I began this on the 8th of September,2001. I began at 338 lbs. I discovered I had lost five lbs in the four days I spent finding a support group and doing a good bit of low carb research. Boy was I surprised.
Sue has made Adkins my best friend once again and I will weigh on Saturday. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I know I am losing as the metallic taste is in my mouth. Extra water has helped(bless you Sue) . Years ago I lost 108 lbs on Low carb and kept it off for several years until I was injured at work. A severe spinal injury that caused me to be bedfast for over a year. Several years later the weight kept building and exercise was impossible , Illness followed and so here I am. I will be successful.
I want the me I know to return and I have prayed for those years lost to be rolled away as well. Which means I ask for the hands of time to reverse about 17 years. Well... one can dream you know! I am determined to lose . My goal is 125 as I have small bones ( boy was I mad at the doctor who first told me that) . I have along way to go and support is new and wonderful to me.
I check in most everyday. I am so happy I found all of you. So far so good!!!!!




Pam (it is nice to have a name with a screen name:D) we are so glad to have you here. we love to help and please ask anything. I have been doing this for over a year and i know that it can be done. welcome!!! If you have a hint of falling off the bus Dana has a huge roll of indestrial strength duct tape and it is VERY hard to remove!!! so watch out you will stay OP just to not be taped on!!! :lol: :lol:

Lee that is a very wonderful but scary thing that has happened. may i ask what you had been tramatized form or if it is too personal you do not have to tell. I do have friends that have psychic powers and they can hit the nail right on the thread!! so I asm a believer. what a horrible thing to predict!! My heart goes out to you for suffering through the events before they happened.

Me I am OP!!! hear that Dana?? I have managed to keep my face out of the frosting, cokies, and KFC!!! I am ripping!!!

Exercise YES!!! i did OZZIE :love: today My cabana boy!!! :lol:

Pat how did all this affect the guys you work with?? I am curious. and UUUHHHMMMMM how is the exercise going???? :lol:

Dana I will never get off your back!! :lol:I want to see you hit goal as much as you do and i will see you all the way there. I am going to do the BFL chalenge again so it will help inspire me to keep on going as hard as i am!!! and you know what do not feel funny about going to the weight room a bit heavy i have huge legs and gut and nobody looks at me funny infact they all encourage me!!! so do not let that stop you (see i am still on the back) :lol:

Joanne how are you doing. did I mention exercise to you??? :lol:

Terri?? how are you doing OP???

Joanne I am heart broken at your grief and for all who are grieving. I know only too well what it is to grieve for someone we love. My Father died with cancer at 49, my Grandmother, friends in car wrecks, agent orange poisoning for one and my own daughter at birth. I am stunned at the horror that has taken place and we all join you in the sorrow. The whole country is praying for the families. I have spent a long time doing that as it is all I have the ability to do. Americans are not used to feeling helpless in this case for most of us we are. Take heart at the love and selflessness that is given for all the dead, missing and their families. Know please how deeply we care. God bless.
Pam

I just bawled today. at anything the computer, work, the radio, the tv, any thing. I do not think that it is over and many more things will happen please all take care.

I have managed to stay OP today, by the skin of me teeth, all else is well. i have been drinking but too much diet pepsi so i am wired. have exercised did the oliptical for 30 and hit over 400 what an effort. bellydancing tonight. just lve to see the fat jiggle!!! atleast i just have to start it and then it just follows!!! :dizzy: :lol: :lol:

Paam one thing that i do know is that if anything the nations has been brought together by this tragity. and we will be strong and we will survive. the unfortuante thig is that the people that did this do not knwwhat they are in for!!!

God bless every one

Love Sue

As we were at 2 pages I started another thread #2

Lee How are you doing? I know you are in pain and stressing. I hope you are finding some comfort


See ya at #2

Keep the duct tape handy.....I will let you know!!!!!Ha Ha.

Lee, I know how you feel....September 10th.... I sat watching tv and crocheting ( keeps hands and body busy) A new mini series much touted by HBO comes on it is called Band of Brothers. My Husband comes in and props pillows up and joins me." You know" he says, " I am surprised, you don't like war movies and yet you have watched the last three that has come out....Why?"
I turned and looked him in the eyes... " Something is happening, something is seriously wrong." Dan we are going to war and I can't stop it, I can't do anything about it in any way." Tears welled up in my eyes and I continued... "I don't believe in war,
vengence is mine sayth the Lord, Thou shalt not kill is the first commandment. I know that it doesn't say thou shalt not kill unless given good reason, but something awful is about to happen and we are going to war. More dead... so many more dead..." and I sobbed with all my heart for the lives lost. My poor Hubby was so confused. He replied ,"war is good for the economy..." he was just stumbling, searching for some comfort to a situtation he did not understand. And , I stated between sobs the funeral business. He put his arms around me and held me until I was quiet again. What is going on you have been so quiet for day's it is so unlike you....(and it is too) I know something really bad is about to happen, he ccut me off and said don't be silly everything is fine. The next day............well we all know.

Here we are in uncertain times and it is at these times that the greatness of the human spirit becomes so clear. When heros are a daily routine for so many and all our people come together as one. In our adversitity the greatness of America shines like the sun. Come what may we are joined again. Me , I , my, is lost in us , we, and service to others. All the factors that has made this country great reemerges in all it's glory and God is seen everywhere in thousands of faces. Together we grieve, cry, laugh,
and stand to face a new and uncertain day but we do it as one people and together we have and can do anything. Take Heart Lee, as a Nation we have come together and so much of the world stands with us. Out of the horror has come blessing and that is the way life works. No matter how painful or horrifing the situtation is, good emerges and this is what we must hold on to.
The miracles of love, compassion and strength.
God Bless us all and our world.