Hey Britt

Don't be jealous of my TOM - I went for months and didn't have it at all, and now this is the SIXTH full cycle since November 20th. But I won't complain.

Thank you all for your wisdom, and thoughtful posts. I'm listening to everything, and taking it to my journal and writing about it. I'm not bitter, and I don't feel like a victim either – most of the time I am pretty grounded. I thought I had dealt with most of this stuff, and to some degree I did, but I guess that when things trigger you it all jumps back up in your face.

I'm feeling better. I still feel quite introspective, but that's because I really want to learn from it this time, and get through it. I want to lose weight - not sabotage myself. And in some ways it's a really key point for me:

How will I respond with my weight loss when I am feeling emotionally vulnerable?

I'll tell you how! No matter what - I want to lose this weight. I want to be more healthy, and that includes my emotional health. I walked this morning, and I've drunk enough water to keep leeny happy :-). I am about to have dinner - which will take me up to 1300 calories for today.

And I'm not undereating for emotional reasons. I'm eating light today because of TOM - bloated! So I feel really positive about my weight loss journey, and really determined.

And I have to say that stumbling across Aussie Chicks was the best thing. I love the friendships, support, fun, frustration, information and the spirit of my friends in here. I really do!

Now, what's going on with Lindor? Where are you?

:-)
Ani

I'm here

Just feeling really negative at the moment. And that is not helped by a forth day of not doing anything to help in this weight loss thing.

Or is it I am feeling negative because I am not doing anything?

In this frame of mind, I wonder what the point is to doing anything that I do.

I've done a lot of overtime this week, there is sh*t going down at work too, I am tired, and I don't think that helps my way of thinking.

Just tomorrow to go then it's the weekend. Time to stop, rest and find my head and put things back into place again.

Do worry about me, I'll get over this! Like I said...it is probably just fatigue!


Ani, I am pleased you are feeling a little brighter today. You sound more positive too. I was a little worried about you for a while there

Britt, Leeny and Barb...keep at it, you are doing well!

I'm off to bed!!

That was a little bit Freudian

Now are you just having a bad, busy, distracted week? I don't like you saying "what's the point…".

Come on now, you've cared enough about yourself to shed almost 35kg. Do you have a current goal in your mind? Something you really want to achieve?

I have learned that you can't wait for motivation to kick in. You have to get up and "do", and the motivation will eventually catch up with you. You don't have to answer this question (and if I had money to bet with I'd lay a million dollars that you won't), but are you sure it's your food choices and step-ups that you're bored with, or is there something else going on?

Lindor you've been wonderful support to me this week, and I wish I could make you feel better

You know where I am if you need to talk.

:-)
Ani

Hey ladies

I had Wednesday off the gym but was back with a vengence last night. Did a 25 minute boxing session with my trainer and DAMN it was hard!! After that he made me do 3 sets of 15 dead lift/shoulder press combo with a medicine ball so as you can imagine, my arms feel like lead today!

However, I really enjoyed it and it's a fantastic upper body workout so my plan is to now do 1 session per week with my trainer doing weights and one session per week doing boxing. If I can keep that up for a few weeks I'll be in shape in no time!

Ani, if I knew what 'it' was, I'd tell you just to get that million dollars you don't have

Truth is I don't know. I don't even know if it is one thing or a load of little things...or if it is anything at all!

I get up in the morning, I tell myself it is going to be a good day (even then, in the back of my mind, I know it'll be a struggle). I manage my 50 squats, I eat my usual breakfast, I go to work.

From there it all goes down.

So can I put it down to a mucked up week at work? I've refused to do overtime this weekend, I am having the two days off for myself!

But, it is not just the overtime and the staffing issues that has mucked things up at work. There are other things, things that have slightly shaken my confidence. But I am able to look at those things individually and say they are no big deal...I can work around them.

I've had bigger issues at work, and I have faced those with no problem...so is it my job that has me feeling this way?

If not the job, then what? I can't put my finger on it right now.

Maybe it is simply a bad dieting week for me?

For now, I am happy to settle with that!

Lindor do you have any goals you are working towards this year? And with your weight-loss goals, do you give yourself rewards for reaching them?

Sometimes the only solution to being in the headspace you are in is to just ignore it for a while and think/plan/dream of something else. The harder you try to figure out something, the more elusive it can become - so it might be the right time to switch on the other side of your brain, and do something different.

Don't forget you've been through a lot of changes recently. Selling your house, moving to a unit, leaving your old job and starting a new one, going on holidays, coming home – and losing over 30kg. Nothing is familiar anymore. Are you comfortable with a smaller living space? Is that making you think smaller?

If work is affecting you emotionally, or causing you stress, it often means it is reflecting something of your private life. Are there relationships at work that are reminiscent of family ones (and I KNOW you won't answer that one)? But if there are - change something. Or you'll torture yourself and not even know why.

Is there some part of you who doesn't believe she can get into the 70-something kilo range? Or doesn't believe she's worth it?

In some ways I have the same struggle with getting down below 90kg. Different reasons - different journey, but this part of the journey for me is proving to be a real challenge. But it's one I fully intend to win.

I don't have any answers for you - but I really want you to reach your dreams. It would be awesome to see you bounce in here one day, a few months from now, and throw a dozen dancing carrots through your post because you reached 70-something kilos. Come on - you've got a whole cheer squad in here!

:-)
Ani

My dear Lindor, lots of hugs for you. You seem to be as down in the dumps as I have been. Keep fighting it, and you will come out the other side.

I've been doing some reading these past 2 days, an excellent, informative, eyeopening book. Its called You on a diet. It cost me $22 and one of the authors was on Oprah on Wednesday night. There is also a website, realage.com, where you can calculate your real age. Unfortunately I am nearly 42 years old, not the 33 years I've lived. But the book and site says I can lose a good 5 of those years in 90 days, if I follow its guidelines.

It has lots of information what is happening on the inside when we are having cravings, what causes them and what we can do to stop them. And of course, he says to do the 10,000 steps a day including a 30 minute session of walking a day, plus some strenthening exercise 3 days a week. Very doable. Take a look you will find it very informative.

Catch you soon.

kathy

I have just left work for the day.

It's not been a good day

Hugs for you Lindor. Tomorrow take a day for you, sleep in, then take a nice walk if its not too hot. Make yourself something yummy for lunch, and watch a nice video. And remember, we are here for you.

Kathy

Hey all

Ani....you are so strong you amaze and inspire me. Keep writing in your journal and i know you will figure out your strenghts and weaknesses and build from there. WE all have crap in our lives and it really is how Britt said...it is how we deal with it that makes the difference. I could write a novel about the stuff in my life and could end up in a straight jacket i'm sure but i choose to learn from them and move forward the best way i can at the time....does that make sense???>?Life constantly throws me 'curve balls" and sometimes i catch them and other times they hit me fair in the face. I have sufferred depression in the past from major dramas but is seem to stay "glued" to some level.

Lindor...why are you home at 1.30pm today. Did you have a "Dummy spit"? Don't let other peoples dramas become yours. If you can remember i quit my job at the beginning of the year because it was the worst place to be. It was emotionally draining on me every day and i finially had to admit that i didn't need that and needed to be kind to myself and care about myself for once in my life. I have never looked back. There will always be people we work with that will make life unbearable....try to ignore them and know that they have problems in their life that arent yours....just forget about them...i know easier said than done when you have to see them daily. RElax a bit on the weekend, care for yourslef....you deserve it. You have had so many changes in your life this year...do you think your brain is finially catching up with you body????It can be scary. I know when i lost 60kg i didn't know myself anymore...how to dress, how to behave, how to repsond to people and their comments(good or bad), didn't even recognise myslef in the mirror. I had an analagy about me once...it was like if i cut my arm off i had to deal with the new me and just had to readjust...it was hard. Maybe that is happening to you ...i also think you need some sleep and stop thinking about work stuff and have some fun. Is your town closing in on you (being a small one)? Have you got some friends around that will help you in your new journeys....yes we will...but virtual ones as well.....Don't respond if you don't want to...i only want the best for you and want you to achieve your goals.

Saying that...me...good today. No exercise though...rained all day plus DH home. Had to go to a funeral...a friend was bashed to death 2 weeks ago in Brisbane walking home from the pub. WE are all in a bit of shock...a quiet guy and only 40. Too young to go and a very sad day for his family. So food was not high on my agenda today...a bit of a yuk day and makes me think of how lucky i am to have my family and i will cherish them forever(even though they are all sick buggers)....so keep smiling all and know i am here to listen if you need to chat xxxxx

Hey Kylie

Welcome to Aussie Chicks - it's great to have you here. I've been here for six months and I cannot speak highly enough of the women you'll meet in our group. They are awesome!

Do you have a plan for how you are going to lose weight? We are all doing different things. Me - I try and eat no more than 1700 calories a day, and walk for an hour. I allow myself to have chocolate if I feel like it, or other yummy treats, as long as it is within my calorie limit.

Looking forward to getting to know you better, and hearing about your progress :-)

leeny, that's terrible news about your friend, and I am very sorry to hear it. How are you holding up? I know you have experienced a lot of adversity (just from the litttle I know about you), and I admire your strength too.

I've had a fairly good day. Ate within my calories, walked for an hour… oh bugger! Forgot to drink water! Ah well - can't do EVERYTHING!

:-)
Ani

Hey Ani!

Honestly, I never really thought about a plan of attack (odd... I do for everything else). Well, I know that I plan to go to the gym 4-5 days a week once uni goes back. The food side is the real struggle for me. I don't keep regular hours, and 9 times out of 10 I am working over the afternoon/dinner time, when I would love to be cooking proper meals. Lunch is almost always crap from the uni canteen, although I do steer away from chips and hotdogs! Do you girls have any ideas about 'take to work' meals? I have the portion problem too (read: I will eat until there is none left, no matter what it is, or how much there is. I HATE wasting food).

Leeny, I am sorry to hear about your friend. It's never easy, I know. My thoughts are with you. *big hug*

Kylie

Kylie, my favourite lunch is a wrap - and I make one at least three or four days a week. I get mountain bread or something similar, spread fresh avocado on it, then pile on lettuce, tomato, capsicum, chives, cucumber, spring onion, mushroom and low fat dressing. Depending what's handy I might add chicken or low-fat cheese. Or sun-dried tomato.

I always pile on the greens, because they fill me up.

For me planning is essential, otherwise I mess my eating up really quickly - and if you have a busy and distracted lifestyle, it's even more important to plan IMO.

Alright - this is a first for me for weeks, but it's only 11pm and I'm tired enough to go to bed. Woo Hoo!

:-)
Ani

We're having another warm spell in Perth - going to be 41ºC today!

I decided this morning that February is going to be MY month. I'm sick of this plateau and these ridiculous hormones, and I WANT to lose some more weight. By the end of Feb I would really like to weigh no more than 92.5kg, and here's the plan:

DAILY

• Walk for an hour;
• Drink 2 litres of water;
• Eat no more than 1700 calories
• Find an hour every day to do something physical (non-exercise) - eg shopping, domestics, gardening!

THREE-FOUR TIMES A WEEK

• 50 x ab cruches
• 100 step ups
• Dumbell workout for strength/resistance

ONE-TWO TIMES A WEEK

• Swimming
• Throw in an extra walk!

I feel like I've become comfortable, after six months, in a routine - and all I am doing is maintaining the weight I have already lost. I have also lost some of my self-belief that I CAN lose more weight.

So I figured the only way to snap myself out of it is to make a disciplined plan, and get to work on it STARTING NOW!

I feel like I've become a little complacent. In some ways I feel really pleased that I lost 10kg - but I need to remind myself that bragging rights are gone - that was LAST year's weight loss win *slap*!

:-)
Ani