Good Morning Everyone.... I have the case of the Mondays. I had a good weekend... always too short.. I saw A. on Friday night and we made dinner and watched a movie.... afterwards I came home.. Saturday we didn't make it to the movie, but the girls and I did go to El Chico for lunch and went to the ski store to finish getting their ski clothes, and I got some ski boots for myself... then we headed to the mall to explore a little. Sunday, we went to church and for the rest of the day, I cleaned. About 5 hours worth. Maybe next week I'll take them to the movies.
Red.... (((((HUGS))))) sorry you are feeling so down. I have lived in a state of depression all my life.. and my body image makes up a good portion of that depression. As I get older... the more accepting I guess I get of my fat.. that I just seem to keep gaining a little more... or not really working to get the pounds off that I think will make me happy. Its OK.... and as for living and working in Japan... that must be really difficult. I hear stories about how office life is over there (our HQ are in Tokyo) so I know things are quite a bit different there than what they are here. We have visitors here all the time at our office, and I don't know how to even interact with them. Culturally, they are so different. Just know we are thinking about you... and wishing we could help...
Noelle.... I am glad the movie is a good one... I"ll make a point of going with the girls in the next couple of weeks. Good Luck on working out the problems with Rick. It is extremely hard to work together, you can't every seem to get away from ANY problems. They are always there.
Angie.. WTG on the weight loss... that is wonderful! You are doing a great job! But I am sorry to hear about Daisy.... I hope she feels better soon.
Julie.. that cake sounds wonderful! YUM... glad you had a good weekend.
Kempy... Winter has missed us here too.... But there is still February to get through... who knows what that will bring.
Dips and Cal... Hiya!!!
Well... time for me to get to work. Wednesday, I fly out to St. Louis for training on Thursday.... I will get home Thursday night really late... so I may not be around much in the middle of the week....
Red... I am hardly ever on my computer on the weekends, that is why you never see me post... it does get a little slow at those times... but we always come back in the week.
OK.. off to do some work. Talk to you chicks later!





) . My home computer is acting funky and I need to run a scan disk again...I am just doing a quickie post since I stopped by the office to drop some supplies off......
Chin up, we're here for ya....I know we go missing on the weekends sometimes, but we're always thinking about one another.
It WILL be worth it
I had to take the stray cat to the pound today...it was too sickly to stick around and wasn't eating much at all. It was such a good natured cat too. All he wanted was to be loved. At least we were able to give him some comfort in his last days...we spent at least a half hour brushing his coat out before I took him in. I feel sick about it.

Thanks for all your kind words, hugs and wishes to pack me back to the States.
And the one you saw here was appearance and, well, me, all of me. I am unlike the typical Japanese girl, and unlike what is preached here, drilled in, and taken to be the only acceptable manner of behaving oneself.
I mean, get this, even today, a woman was saying that I am forgiven the fact that I ask questions of the teacher during my riding lesson BECAUSE I'm a foreigner.
It's like, oh, ****, give me a break! Normally, I just sniff and carry on, but sometimes it bothers me, mostly, almost only actually when I am being rejected by fellow foreigners.
This is the problem. I should write them off as losers. I don't have much problem with the Japanese because I write it to their culture. Sigh. Anyhow, enough garbage. I am BACK on my feet.
Here's something I decided today...
For three days now I have been cutting back on my food, not counting calories but definitely cutting back and, because I'm writing it down, I can see I am. Now, there have been no beer nights so I don't know how I'll handle them...probably just bolt for the office door whenever I feel the urge to round up the coworkers...but for now, I'm OK...three days, big deal, eh? I have been keeping a food journal too, not just writing the food down, I've done that lots of times before, but analyzing and assessing the emotions during or preceding the eating. I am being really honest with myself about what I'm feeling around the "feeding times" and I realize it's all about things like loneliness, feeling hurt, feeling rejected, feeling anxious,
It's so natural now that I hadn't really been recognizing it for what it was. I was thinking more along the lines of boredom and reward or deprivation but it's not about food at all, it's really not. It's all this other junk and I'm just really trying to disassociate the two.
I figure that means I have to have 500 calorie cut a day or add 500 calories of exercise a day, which again, shouldn't be that hard if I remain very attentive and aware and cut way back on the drink-till-you-drop or drink-till-you-stumble-home nights out. Ok, so, in my datebook, I marked the weights down for each week until I would get to my initial goal of 60 kg (I'm now about 73 kg).
That constitutes about a 30-lb loss. Then I wrote in things along the way on the relevant dates and noted what weight I would be and imagined myself going to such and such event at that weight. It was fun and it's so fun to just take out my datebook and remind myself of this all the time.
It's like a reward without having gotten there yet. Like a child looking at Dec. 25 on the calendar.

Pms is so bad. It throws me off every month with the sugar and salt cravings.
I am passing the time in my office waiting to head out to my weigh-in today. I am dreaming about what I will get for lunch immediately afterwards
. I'm keeping him in parochial school for as long as I can afford it!