Whew, I'm doing better :^: I sat here at work and just let things fester inside me until at one point, I IMed Jeff and just said I needed to talk to him when we got home. That was all I intended to say, since I certainly didn't want to get into it while we were both at work. Then he asked me what I wanted to talk about, and then it escalated a bit from there. It came down to me admitting that I still had a problem with the reference to a movie that just came out in 2005 and him stating yet agian that he hasn't seen in her over 2 years and that if I still don't believe him, then I don't trust him and we should break up. That's when my boss walked into my cube, and she looked at me, and I just lost it! I try so hard not to bother people at work with my personal issues, but I just couldn't help it. I told Jeff I had to do work and that I'd be back in a while. My boss took me down to the lobby of our office building, and we sat on some couches as I spilled everything that had happened. She was great--for everything I said, she came up with such a quick response that made sense. She was like, sure, maybe Jeff said he wanted to see that movie, but that doesn't mean they went. Which is true--I didn't actually see any conversations about meeting anywhere or him picking her up or what time the movie started--nothing like that. Then my boss said that the part where this girl told Jeff she got home okay could have just been because she told him she was going somewhere and he told her to be careful. It all sounded logical, and she just kept saying that we seem to have such a great relationship that she thinks we'll be fine. She seemed so certain that he was telling the truth and that he just got so angry because in a boy's mind, "I haven't seen her in over 2 years" is all the explanation needed; details don't need to be discussed. In my head, though, of course, it was every itty bitty detail had to be analyzed and discussed. When I came back from my half-hour cry fest with my boss, I felt much better and much more confident that he was, in fact, telling me the truth, so I told him that on IM. I knew one of two things would happen when he got home from work--he would either be angry with me for having brought it up a second time, or he would just act like the whole thing never happened. He acted like it never happened. We didn't discuss it any further. I said I trusted him, and that was the end of that. He was a little extra cuddly last night, though, so maybe a little bit of good did come of the whole thing ;)

So, to make a long story longer, we got past it. I really do trust him. In over a year and a half of being with him and having met the 5 cousins he lived with; his mother and grandmother; his father from Florida; his aunt and uncle out by Annapolis (plus their extended families at their anniversary party); his aunt, uncle, and cousin in Georgia; and his 2 best friends from high school, I've never found any reason before to think that he wasn't being totally honest with me. I realize that I probably hurt him, too, both by having invaded what little privacy he has left now that we live together and by not fully believing him the first time he said he hasn't seen this chick (who my boss referred to as a skank--that made me happy :p ). Thanks for listening, guys. I couldn't get a hold of my best friend (she is a full-time student plus works a job and has an internship), so I needed to emotionally dump somewhere :^:

BUT, back to basics--I have my TOPS weigh-in tonight, and I think it will go very well! Although my home scale has been funky lately (I get on, it says 280, I get off and get on again--278.5, so I get off and on again--281 :?: ), but the last time I went to TOPS, my home scale said 284.5, so I know I'm at least down from there (somewhere between 2 and 6 pounds lower :dizzy: ).

You know how they have those cartoons with an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other? Well, Ben & Jerry's is the devil on my shoulder, heh heh. Yesterday I didn't do as well as I wanted to, had a second serving of stew and (drum roll of doom) ate one of Rob's Devil Dogs (devil? see a theme here??). Today I'm going to be good, and no catastrophes yet :carrot:

Those pictures are gorgeous, thanks for sharing them. We're going to Cold Spring this weekend, it's at the edge of the Catskill mountains, and only a train ride away! (don't I sound like a commercial?). Can't wait to see some colorful foliage.

Marge - I didn't cry during Gilmore Girls... I was nearly shocked! I love that show, I want to go live in their reality! Beware of Biggest Loser, I cried! Twice! heh. Can I come to Cali as well? I need away from the RAIN! BTW, I wanna be skinny now..

Re: GG, I know! Can I move into the pool house??? Or can I even have Rory's bedroom now that she's moved out?? I'll even live with Kirk (no, wait, nix that!). Have you noticed that mom and daughter eat everything all the time and never gain a pound?? Yep, that's the right reality!!

Do you believe I didn't get about the last 10 minutes of biggest loser??? Apparently a baseball game threw the start time off. I have to go to the website and see who got the heave ho. If two different guys, doing 20 hours of exercise, end up having a week of no weight loss, that seems to say to me that I shouldn't feel so bad if it happens to me from time to time! At the same time I've never lost 17 lbs in one week (holy cow, that would be like someone chopping off one of my arms).

Aimee: You gotta work it! http://tinyurl.com/9yasy

Hang in there, Jill. And may the powers that be grant us all the strength, courage and wisdom to deal with all the curve balls we constantly get thrown at us! And I mean that! :strong:

Goodmorning!! Thesun is shining, and I'm faking enthusiasm! I would have rather slept in this morning, but my tummy is still doing weird things. It actually feels like TOM cramps and bloating minus the TOM part! Perhaps I am due for some nasty PMS, because my TOM's have been pleasant lately.. I can handle it!

Marge - I think I'm gonna go live in the Pool House, it's too cute, and its very possible that it's bigger than my place right now.. heh. I'm going to break Logan and Rory up, but only so I can have him! ;) I think we gotta lose weight to remain in their reality, I mean Suki doesn't get thinner.. Now, tell me, am I giving this too much thought? The Biggest Loser ended with Pete being voted off, it was a big cry-fest, that man was pretty amazing.

Jill - I really don't want you to hate me here, and I know that you say you are past it, but I really want you to keep your eyes open. It's very possible that Jeff is telling the truth, but it would be pretty hard to get hit with this again. I care for you, and don't want to see you hurt (infact, I'd beat him up just for the fact he hurt you). We know whats true in our heart.. trust that. There is a girl at Josh's work who has thrown herself at him many a time, including me being there while she does it (definite skank!), due to low selfesteem I am always ALWAYS asking him about her, if he talks to her.. etc. I didn't fully ask him to stop talking to her, but when he realized that I just can't handle it.. he's pulled back, and has told me so, over and over and over again. Of course I still bring it up, he does get annoyed, but always assures me that there is nothing there, and how he'd never cheat on me. Yes you need to trust Jeff, but at the same time, he's got to reassure you as many times as you need, that he's not going to cheat on you. Those are my two (possibly unwanted) cents. Also, this comes from a caring side, I'm not trying to stir up anything.. On a brighter note? I wish you the best of luck at your weigh in, although sounds like you are down!

Well, I'm going to go try and throw together some food and possibly do some exercise! Have a great day girls!

-Aimee

I have a habit of faking enthusiasm. I figure if I'm behaving my way to that reality, heh heh.

Ah, so you didn't notice that Suki lost weight? I think she was on some kind of high power weight loss program through UCLA, don't ask me how I know these things. I think she did it because she wanted to have a baby (the actress in real life, I am actually able to tell the difference between tv and real life. Sometimes.)

Rob has a female penpal in England. She ended up taking a holiday here to New York by herself. I encouraged Rob to meet with her (you know, thinking hands across the water and all that...). She gave him a nice gift, and I found myself getting really jealous. I backed off since he didn't want to see her, I pushed him, but told him as long as he was with me he wouldn't be seeing her alone again. He can email her, and send them NY stuff (she has two teenage boys). They send him gifts too. But any meeting gets the Marge filter. The lady does have something of a crush on him and crushes happen. Sometimes those little crushes need a little herding to keep them in the right corral! :rollpin:

I'm down a little over a lb this week, yahoo :carrot: , I'm so glad to see the numbers going down again, rough few weeks there! I went to the gym this morning and have been slowing increasing the routine to get back where I was before the leg problem. Still not at 100 per cent, but getting there slowly but surely.

Take it easy, gals.

Weighed in at 276.25 at TOPS last night, so a loss of 3.25 for the week :carrot: Of course, now that the Jeff drama has settled (allowing my stomach to settle), my appetite is back, so hopefully I can control it for another successful weigh-in next week!

Aimee--If this was some girl Jeff saw all the time (old friend, co-worker, something like that), I would worry more, but it's just some chick from online, I'm not as worried. I really do trust him--like I said, he has never before given me reason not to. I think about what it would be like if the tables were turned and he were accusing innocent little me of cheating. I would be FURIOUS if he didn't believe/trust me when I denied it! So, he had a right to get angry, and I had a right to be upset. I honestly think that if anything were going on, he would have told his 17-year old cousin (they're really close friends), and he (the cousin) probably would have told me. Jeff's a smart guy--he knows if he ever hurt me like that, I'd beat the living daylights out of him ;) Besides, he'd have to go pretty far out of his way to do anything sneaky now that we live together. We work basically the same schedule, so we're always home at the same time. It feels to good to have so many friends who are willing to beat him up for me, though :lol: I finally caught up with my friend from college, and she said the same thing (I told her we were okay and settled now, but she said to let her know if she ever needs to come down here and kick his a$$ :devil: ).

I am SO in love with the Gilmore Girls! However, it is a somewhat new addiction for me, so I haven't been watching the new episodes--I am playing catch-up by watching the repeated old ones on ABC Family at 5pm every weekday :p My sister has the first 3 seasons on DVD, so I'll have to borrow those sometime so I can actually watch all of the episodes from the beginning consecutively.

I've never seen Gilmore Girls, had to look up what it was. We pretty much watch only shows we've recorded, and there's only so much time to see even those. I :love: the DVR...Hardly have to deal with Howie channel surfing anymore, yay! ;)

I maintained this week, no big surprise there. Ah, well - at least I didn't gain. Kudos to you on your losses, Jill & Marge!

I'm taking off in a bit to go pick up some sections of privacy/stockade fence someone offered on Freecycle. He said there are 3 or 4 sections, along with posts. We see our neighbor's DOG-UGLY old fence right by our patio, you'll recall, and we hope to erect these sections in front of it and at least partially block the nasty view. LOL

We all Weighed around the same time! I got on the scale this morning, but decided it was wrong. I really only slept about 2 hours last night, combined with the fact I got on the scale before I went pee or anything.. it's WRONG. Right? RIGHT?!?!

Marge - congrats on that weigh in!! What are you weighing these days? I'm just curious if your ticker is on.. I did notice Suki had lost some weight, I wonder what size she is.. Who do you think is more attractive? Lorelai or Rory? I used to think Rory, but now that she's got that bad attitude, I wanna punch her out. Is that wrong? ;) Did I tell you I exercised yesterday?? Well I did :) Today? I'm hoping to do 1 mile WATP after dinner.

Jill - I'm glad to hear you aren't mad, it disappoints me when girls make excuses for their boyfriends.. I just wanted to make sure you weren't doing this. That whole mentality that a girl isn't complete unless she has a man just bothers me more than words can say! Congrats to you! Thats a GREAT weigh in..

Kimberley - What tv shows do you watch? Maintaining is good! Well, better than the alternative of gaining..

My week has FLOWN by, work has been decent, but I'm definitely near my end of this retail stuff. It's so... icky! heh. Whats bothering me lately is that time is going SO fast, and here I am not losing weight, not really trying, not enjoying my life lately. It's been all about work and sleep! I need to make small goals, like exercising 5 days a week, having one day not eating bread, the next having a little.. it might feel more attainable. Well thats just me thinking "outloud". I'll talk to you gals later!!

-Aimee

Let's see...What shows do I like? Here's my list. I don't always watch them, but I like them.

NEVER MISS: Survivor, The Amazing Race, The Biggest Loser, My Name Is Earl, The Office

ENJOY:

The Tonight Show & Conan O'Brian

G4/TechTV's Call for Help & Nerd Nation (yeah.)

TLC's Clean Sweep, What Not to Wear, Trading Spaces, While You Were Out

FitTV's Ultimate Goal & Fit Nation

FoodTV's Calorie Commando, Weighing In and Good Eats

VH1's Best Week Ever, I love the 80's (or 70's), other funny pop culture commentary shows

Hallmark Channel: The Waltons (we LOVE this show)

I had three weeks of gaining -- went up by about 6 lbs :eek: :( -- so this weeks loss brings me to 263. I'd hoped I'd lose it again fast, but it may take me a little time. Definitely not good to have a period of problem eating coupled with a leg injury!

I like Lorelai a little more than Rory, btw, they also never wear the same outfit twice.

Whats bothering me lately is that time is going SO fast, and here I am not losing weight, not really trying, not enjoying my life lately. It's been all about work and sleep! I need to make small goals, like exercising 5 days a week, having one day not eating bread, the next having a little.. it might feel more attainable.

Congrats on the exercise, Aimee. I can relate to this feeling, believe me. Sometimes it just seems hard to find the right balance. Hang in there, we'll do it :) Small goals are a great idea, I try to do that, and Dawnyal was talking about it at 100.

Kimberley, the freecycle is really cool. I'm tempted to subscribe, but it has a warning for NYC that you'll get 100 emails a day! yikes. I love the amazing race, some of those families can get a little on the nasty side, whew! and they look so innocent ... ;) I never knew Panama was so beautiful. (We're in bed by 10 when the tv goes off, and we don't have cable.)

that is a great loss, Jill! :carrot: I like being able to watch past episodes of favorite shows on DVD. Now they're in the video stores for rental so fast too, almost right as a season ends.

I cleaned my work table today (finally!) It's cold and overcast here, very Halloweenish. There's a parade on the 31st in the neighborhood, we're contemplating going to see it. Parade makes it sound a little fancier than it is, really the local kids dressed up in a group, haha.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back tonight by an hour, gotta save that daylight!

have a good one

Goodmorning! I slept for 10-11 hours last night :) It was very enjoyable!

Kimberley - I used to love Survivor!! It kinda faded for me as the years passed. i have heard great things about My Name is Earl! My mom recounts it to me.. I always laugh. You should catch an episode of Gilmore Girls.. not that you need to be addicted, but its a pretty cute show.

Marge - It'd definitely feeling like fall these days, I'm not down with that. I'd prefer to keep with the summer stuff, mostly because I hate the rain. I really do want to pick up training for a 10km walk/run. Ideally I'd run! We'll see though, because I need to start NOW to be prepared for the race in April.

I really do seem to have a block when it's coming to weight loss these days, my plan from yesterday seems attainable... but where is my drive? Does this mean I don't want it badly enough? I don't know... I need to stop giving it so much thought. Alrighty, I am off.. I'll talk to you gals later!

-Aimee

Ah I love that time change!! We get an extra hour of sleep, and it's brighter in the morning :) I'm not a huge fan of all this darkness, but if we get a choice.. I'd rather it be brighter in the morning! Whats this stuff I hear that the USA wants to NOT do the daylight savings time stuff?? My goodness!!

Alrighty! I supposed I should go get ready for work, and all that fun stuff. The kids upstairs are VERY noisy this morning.. I don't get it! The parents actually give their kids an energy shake in the morning... sure I could understand if it the kids weren't up at 7am running around screaming and playing! Anyways, it's annoying, Josh and I definitely need to move! Have a great day gals!!

-Aimee

Speaking as a nightowl, I am gonna miss the extra hour of sunshine, because it comes while I'm snoozing. Waaaah! Sometime I want to get some thickly lined drapes to pull over our mini-blinded windows at night. It's too hard to sleep with the light plus normal noise (like my MIL's dog barking downstairs after Nancy leaves in the morning, cars, etc.). In the winter it's easier because the windows are closed, at least.

wow, they give their kids energy shakes?? I thought there was such a big to-do about kids being over tranquilized now.

We went hiking yesterday and I'm sore and tired today, what would I be like without that extra hour? It was a beautiful day yesterday, and the area is so pretty, along the Hudson, with the sailboats and kayakers, and the trees changing colors. Not as vivid as the pics you had, Kimberley, but nice. Was strange to be riding home on the train and have it be pitch dark at 6pm.

I really do seem to have a block when it's coming to weight loss these days, my plan from yesterday seems attainable... but where is my drive? Does this mean I don't want it badly enough? I don't know... I need to stop giving it so much thought.

I go through periods like this. Maybe it's just getting into a habit and sticking with it. I mean, it's impossible to keep high motivation all the time. It seems like I have an easier time with I get into a grove, don't think about it and just stick to it. I don't know. Sigh. Not like I've been kicking but weight loss wise lately!!

Anyway, :) HAPPY HALLOWEEN! :)

Happy Halloween, ladies! :lol:

I took the opportunity to wear a t-shirt to work today...it is a black Ghostbusters shirt :) EVERYONE has candy out in their cubicles here at the office, so I am trying really hard to stay in my cube and work, work, work so I can avoid it!

Had an okay weekend--saw Saw 2 on Friday night, veged out all day watching tv/movies and playing on our computers on Saturday, and watched the Redskins game yesterday (sad and pathetic as it was). Saturday night, though I had a really bad dream about Jeff cheating on me and stuff, so I woke up really early in a really bad mood, which of course lead me to think about the occurences of last week again :( I ended up crying yet again and talking to Jeff about some issues. I also included a discalimer: "I promise I'm not always like this--I really don't cry over things every other day normally!" I think the stress of the week and hormones together (TOM started yesterday) made for a bad combination, but we talked and I'm back to happy again :smug: Now I just need to STAY happy ;)
Here's a happy note--I was SO excited this morning when I left the gym to go to work because THE SUN WAS UP! I didn't have to drive to work in the dark! :D

Hi gals! Just a quick one from me, I'm making a healthy, okay, semi healthy dinner! I am feeling pretty good today, yay! My manager is also a life coach, so we talked for most of the day.. it was good :) So good infact, I skipped the fast food and had sushi for lunch, and for dinner? I skipped TEMPURA ( I can barely handle that), and am having whole wheat pasta with ground chicken spaghetti sauce. It's a nice feeling considering how I've been feeling these past few days!

Alrighty, I gotta run and finish making dinner! I'll talk to yah'll later!!

-Aimee