oh theresa - you poor thing- I SO hope she's not infected! poor all of you!
This year for the first time in 20 years they had to send a kid home from my kids school with lice- I mean the school has been there 20 years and they have NEVER had lice -I was in a panic about it. I know so many other schools had problems and one in the area sent home 3/4 of the school including teachers one month- BUT worms??
I have never heard of that.. again you have my sympathy.
Kristen - YOU ROCK! you go girl... that is so awesome!
I am sorry for being a board hog tonight- hubby got the kids down- the laundry for tonight is in and I have to wait for hubby to get out of the shower to do dishes..
Speaking of hubby he brought home a 5lb box of candy his boss gave him... so I am here getting support so I don't eat any of it. I will stop as I am gonna toss the candy at him If it doesn't get put in the deep freeze NOW
I have never heard of the worms either, which is why I've been freaking out over it. The nurse assured me it wasn't anything to worry about, but how can you NOT worry about something like that? They're worms for heaven's sake. I'm waiting for her to fall asleep so I can look, who knows when that will be.
Welcome to the world of public school! Josh already came home with a notice for head lice. Kid keeps wondering why I am playing with his hair all the time and I just tell him cause I love it. I am seriously thinking about home schooling the girls. It will depend on how finances are when they are old enough. Back in the day my mother wormed us kids every spring and fall whether we needed it or not. Carters worm pills-geez I still remember them after all these years.
Hope hubby throws those in the deep freeze fast!
My kids are all in rare form tonight. I know the girls are cranky because I have been gone two days in a row and while they love gramma gramma, they still would rather have me. Tomorrow after dinner I am taking them to the Farmer's market to spend the last 20.00 in produce checks the WIC office gave me. I am going to get apples and make applesauce out of them. I was hoping I could score some free ones but so far no one has had any to give away. Well I suppose I best give some snuggle time here.
Melissa
Theresa-I hope your daughter isn't infected! Does not sound like much fun for you! I just hate those notices! Never had one for worms but 2 of my daughters have had lice-big pain!! Melissa-Glad Josh did so well today! And you did great too!!! I would have eaten the fry ! Kristen-Glad your feeling better and GREAT job on the measurements!
Laura-I hope you made it through the evening with some healthy food and a better spirit. Don't you hate that it is so easy to get depressed, but much harder to kick yourself out of it? Tomorrow is a new day! Okay, my day went up and down-before I even got out of bed the real estate agent called and said the people who looked at the house want to make an offer to the owner He said if the owner accepts the offer we could have as little as 30 days to move
Well I got myself together and went to Curves-love it!! The women there today were so nice and helpfull! They even said they would keep a look out for a house.
After I got home, a man called that has a house for rent! We went to look at it and it is a beautiful house! Lots bigger than what we are in and only $50 more! The only downfall is it is farther out of town than we already are I was hoping to move closer. But we will take what we can get, and it is a really nice place. Hopefully no one else wants to live that far out of town. I tried to call him when we got home from looking at it, but had to leave a message. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
I haven't eaten bad so far, but I haven't got dinner done either! BBQ steak, baked sweet potato fries, and salad. I think hubby might have put on some broccoli too? If I can just watch my portions-but I am REALLY hungry!
Sorry for the long post! Hope everyone has a great, healthy night!!!
Melissa-You are such a good mom/grandma! I can't wait to meet you when we come up to visit my daughter!(she's in Everett too) She's wanting us to come up for Thanksgiving, we just have to see about the weather? I told her- "Cool, I finally get to have one of my children make me TDay dinner!!" She said, "No mom, you know I can't cook, but I'll buy everything for you to cook it!"
I homeschooled my 2 middle girls for 1 1/2 years, that was all I could take with having the 2 little ones always in the way wanting to "do school" too! I am looking into what the laws are for Nevada for homeschooling and might keep the 2 little ones home for awhile. It is so good for them not to be put right into some strict schedule at a public school(and you don't get the wonderful health notices either!!)
Congrats on the pounds gone! That would be so cool. My daughter did that one year for Thanksgiving so she could learn how to do it and I wound up doing the whole meal! I could have done that at home but it was nice to be with Odessa for the day. It was before they moved in with me. With Josh I have no choice but to have him in school because of all the learning issues he has and he gets services through the school too plus to be honest, I need the break from him. We did have a really good day today though and while he did get a little undone once, he got out of it just as fast. I will just have to see where we are all at in 3 years. If I go back to work which I can't do until I finish college-lol then I will have to put them in but hey if prince charming comes along, I would be free to do that then. It also depends on Josh too. Right now it is not uncommon for me to have to go to the school to clean him up because he had an accident or pick him up from school because he is in meltdown so that has to be under control before I even attempt a job. It is something I am seriously thinking about though. I was initially going to college to teach but by the time I get done with all that schooling, I am going to be at retirement age so then I thought about being an aide but then I am in special ed-I already live special ed so not sure if I could handle it both at home and at work. Don't know anymore what to do. I just know with my arthritis, I can't do retail anymore plus the hours bite bad and you always have to work holidays and weekends. You just don't have a life and it is really hard on kids, especially when you are a single parent.
Man I guess I have been a board hog tonite LOL.
Melissa
Melissa, it is so much better to let it all out here than to run to the fridge so you don't have to think about it, so don't worry about hogging the board. We all have our moments, so go with it and no apologies. I really hope you find the direction in life that will make you completely happy. I dropped out of college to have my first baby, and have been home with the kids ever since. When Tyler gets into Kindergarten I want to start working again but have no idea what I will do. I would love to go back and finish college, but we'll see.
Fancy, congrats on the lbs lost
I thought about homeschooling my little ones because I hear so many horrifying things about public schools. But, I believe I wouldn't be a good teacher, and I do enjoy the break when she goes to school. I like that she's only gone 4 hours and is in a small school, being taught by the same teachers that taught my hubby, that babysat for my MIL back in their day, and who Mawmaw is very close friends with. I feel safe with her there, but I'm sure it'll be a different story when they get to public school. I definitely will yank them out and teach them myself if I ever think it's necessary, and especially if they get teased and tortured as I know some kids, won't make them go through that.
12AM and I am up, still waiting for time to go look at Allie's rear end, and hubby and I just had a huge fight on the phone, during which he spat out the following lines:
"It doesn't matter what you do, you will always be a fatty! You can do twenty hours of exercise every day, eat lettuce and carrots the rest of your life, and you'll still be fat. That's biology, that's life, you'll always be FAT!"
"You jump out of bed every day, get on that scale, and if the numbers are down your happy for the day, but if they're down you're a royal bi*** for the day. And then me and the kids have to put up with you."
"You're just a miserable bi*** and will always be, doesn't matter how much you weigh."
And, the most painful for me: "No one else is ever going to love your fat ***, but me! So stop talking about leaving, your not going any fu***** where! Just hush on that."
That last one was after I told him I am going to take care of myself, because I deserve to be proud and feel good about my own body, and I don't know why it offends him to begin with...he should be supporting me, not turning against me. He then just shouted out that no one else will ever want me pretty much.
I am sorry, I probably shouldn't even be typing this here, but i wanted to go finish off the kid's M&M's, but that would only be proving him right so I came here instead. Normally I would call my sister in Ohio and she'd tell me to leave him adn come back to Ohio and live with her, and I'd start feeling better and just stay. She just had a miscarriage last week, so I can't turn to her and lay this on top of that pain. I just feel so horrible right now, I don't know what to do. For some reason me losing weight makes him crazy, he gets possessive and emotionally abusive, so it's like I"m stuck. As long as I'm overweight he's happy and content, a complete sweetie, then everytime I start to take it off, this happens. His attitude toward me changes, he's been accusing me of cheating on him even! I think that's what he's afraid of, that I'm going to lose the weight and find someone better than him, so he just gets overly possessive and starts belittling me and talking me down and I ALWAYS just go back to overeating and stay unhappy...and that makes him happy.
I'm at a crossroad right now, I see what's going on. I can stop losing weight to make him happy, and be miserable myself. Or I can keep going with this and make myself happy, and he'll have to fall into line or eventually I will leave him and he WILL lose me. I have to make myself happy, I cannot be miserable just so he feels safe. I want to have a long life, to see my kids grow up and my grandkids born, I don't want to die in this misery just so he won't feel threatened...or whatever he's thinking.
If he really believed I can't lose the weight, he wouldn't be fighting me over this. I know he thinks I can do it, and that's what threatens him for some reason. For five years I have loved him more than I love myself, I have quit the weight loss to get him off my back but I don't want to do that this time. I'm going to keep going, it's just getting harder and harder the more I lose because he works more and more against me.
He even complained that I exercise, saying it takes too much time away from the kids and I am ignoring them while I exercise,and he said "exercise" like it was a dirty word. I informed him that if the worse thing my children see me do is exercise then I am doing a damn good job! It's a good influence on them, to which he said that he's fat, I'm fat, and the kids will be fat when they get older as well. I said "Well, with you around to put it in their heads that they have to be fat, they might be."
I don't know where we go from here. He was also complaining that I am "blowing" HIS money (hate when he acts like I don't work because I stay home with kids), because I bought pop tarts for the kids at the store, when I was only supposed to buy diapers. I spent a buck on pop tarts and he's upset? He just bought a motorcycle, we agreed on $40 a month, he added a bunch of extras onto it and we are paying $100 for it now GRRRRRR I'm just so upset right now, not sure what to do.
I've decided to start hiding some money and saving up, because I think this will get worse the more weight I lose. I lost 30 lbs. before and we ended up separated for a month, and he sweet talked me back and the weight came right back on. This is a pattern, and it is going to break right now. I am going to stay, continue with my weight loss plan, use his anger at it as fuel to prove him wrong, and if in the end he can't handle it then I will have to leave to get away from him. I'm going to start saving up money, in case I end up a single mommy sometime soon it's just so hard because I love him so damn much, but I have to love myself more...I have to!
Thanks for listening, if anyone even makes it this far I feel better now, I know what I have to do. WHen I signed in here I was thinking about just quitting to make him happy, but I just can't do that. I don't want to this time.
i agree with you about working in retail melissa. i don't even have kids and it was awful. the hours were terrible, and if there was a holiday, i had to work all day on the holiday and seven days that week, not just the regular 9 hours a day, six days a week. i seriously "blimped out" then (to borrow my mil's phrase), eating chips and candy all day long. grrr. i still can't believe that woman said my recovering anorexic sil was "blimping out." what a nut!
evil non-diet like food is stalking me. today i opened my door and saw a plastic bag with a sample of some hazelnut chocolate spread and crackers on my doormat. i can't go anywhere, not even right outside my apartment, without the temptation to scarf down some cake, candy, ice cream, or something else that will make me "blimp out." i think maybe i should just be on hiatus inside my apartment with nothing but veggies, soymilk, and splenda in the house to eat.
Oh Purple, I tottally understand. The more weight I gain the less jealous he got. It's not fair, they should support you in what ever you do. I know mine will be kicking his butt when I'm done and down about 75lbs, because I will be able to get however to tap that *** LOL. You have to do it for you and no one else. You should love yourself more then anybody, cause if you dont love yourself, then you cant love anyone. I hope all works out and keep going, suggest counselling, so he can deal with his issues, because they are his issues, not yours. Keep going.
I am on my way to Curves, and I could only march in place for 15min it was harder then I thought, I did swing my arms, and hold them stright out and I could feel that working, but eventually it will get easier.
Take care eveyone, and keep up the great work.
Theresa- I'm so sorry he is giving youa hard time. He obviously needs you fat for whatever his reasons, and they are his reasons, not yours. I am glad you know that. I think it's a good idea to hide money. Even if you don't ever need it to leave, it will make you feel better. Maybe you shouldn't discuss your weight loss journey with him. Just do what you need to do and don't make him part of it. Don't weigh yourself when he's in the room and don't tell him what's happening. He is threatened by a thin wife, but that shouldn't stop you.
Also they kids won't be fat cause you know how to feed them right.
I feel better today than yesterday. I ate a good breakfast with lots of protein and maybe theatwill set the day up as a 3 meal, good food day, rather than nibbling and junk.
It's funny, when I am OP, I feel like I look better. When I am worried and eating bad, I feel so fat and hideous. I hate my hair clothes house etc. Then when I am OP it is all ok I have to stop blowing in the wind depending on how I think my kids are doing.
DH is out again for 4 days and I will be alone again, and I have to make plans, so food is not an issue. I have never gone to the movies alone and I think I will this weekend. I have flown to Europe alone, but never to a movie alone. Weird huh.
Laura
Theresa-- Sorry to hear of your fight with your hubby. For some reason men have decided that everything is about them! It sounds like his insecurities are surfacing the more your weight disappears. They just don't realize that you feeling good about yourself and who you are can only add to the relationship--not take away from it. I tell my hubby that one of the reasons I want to lose weight is so that I can grow old with him. (That makes it about him and makes him happy!LOL!) The bottom line is it's your life your fighting for, if your not healthy your giving away years of your life. Plus you'll be around longer for your kids, and be able to take a more active role in their lives. To me that alone is one goal worth fighting for. Take heart, keep losing, who knows maybe he'll realize how lucky he is to have you!!!
Thanks for the support guys. He has an issue with feeling insecure, and we have split up over this before. I talked with MIL about it once and she said he has never been this way over any other girl. It didn't start with me until after I had my daughter, then all of a sudden he wanted to know right where we were every second of the day or he flipped out. If he just calls the house and I don't answer, he gets upset...he thinks we've all been murdered or something. He used to want me to take the phone into the shower, and get out and answer if he calls I said no to that one right quick.
He called me back last night and acted as if nothing happened. Again this AM, sweet and loving like everything was normal He does this every time we fight, he gets mean and vicious, we go round and round, nothing is solved, and then he just acts like nothing happened. THis is why we end up having the same fight over and over, this won't be the last time.
But guess what? Some good things happened today this AM and I'm feeling so much better, more focused than ever thanks to his doubt. First, I put on a shirt that I didn't think would fit me, a friend gave it to me as a gift last year and it was too tight, so I threw it on this AM and it fits great, a little loose even! I noticed that my chest is looking real nice, separating out from my middle section quite nicely and my jeans are loose, I had to keep tugging them up as I walked across the parking lot into the grocery store. Fresh from the dryer and they are loose!
As I put my 3 year old into her car seat for school, she said "Mama, how come you're getting skinny?" I just feel so good today and know that there is no way I'm quitting this time. He'll just have to get over himself and deal with it. But the little passive aggressive comments that I must have a boyfriend are really old, then he blows it off like he was just joking.
Okay, have a great day everyone, I'll check back in here later. I'll just not be calling him today and talking very little when he calls. I just feel hurt and emotionally exhausted still, so best to leave him alone and deal with that myself.
Have to go with Laura on this one too. It is HIS problem not yours and you are doing the right thing. I also agree that this is just not something you talk to him about at least at this point and time which is a shame and also I would start socking money away too. I went through this stuff with my ex all the time. He on the other hand constantly insulted me because of my weight and then when I would start to lose, did everything in his power to mess me up. It was just a viscious cycle and unfortunately at the time I wasn't strong enough to shut his words out and just do what I knew I needed to do for my own health and self worth. I would like to think I would handle it differently now and do what I know to be right and true and best for me and ultimately my family. You are right when you say you want to be there for your kids and hubby too. Obesity cuts a life short and makes the short trip miserable to boot. You did good by coming to the board rather than the fridge!
Melissa
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He said if the owner accepts the offer we could have as little as 30 days to move 
12AM and I am up, still waiting for time to go look at Allie's rear end, and hubby and I just had a huge fight on the phone, during which he spat out the following lines:
and my jeans are loose, I had to keep tugging them up as I walked across the parking lot into the grocery store. Fresh from the dryer and they are loose! 
I just feel so good today and know that there is no way I'm quitting this time. He'll just have to get over himself and deal with it. But the little passive aggressive comments that I must have a boyfriend are really old, then he blows it off like he was just joking. 