I am sooo happy to see you back, Kat. I know just how you feel about NEEDING support over and over again. The funny thing is, when i see other people needing just as much support as i do, somehow it makes me feel normal again. Please don't stay away so long again. I/we missed you just as much as you missed us.

I am feeling much better now that I've vented my frustrations out on everyone here.
Was watching a nature show today and found out something interesting. Did you know that eagles mate when there still in flight? Apparently, they stop flapping there wings till the whole mating thing is complete and sometimes they even fall to the ground and die before the deed is done. Boy, knowing this about eagles gives a whole new meaning to the term, fore play.

I was wondering where you were, Lucky. Hope you pop in ever so often and let us know how you are feeling. You are not the only one that didn't participate in the exercise challenge. I went to the Y once this week and thats about it as far as exercise goes for me. As Andria says, banish those negative thoughts. Tomorrow is a new day and a new start.

Tricia, where are you? Give us some words of inspiration.

Carl will be home soon so best be getting supper going.
Late dude.
Gloria

Ugh. I have some sort of bug too, Lucky. I started feeling really worn out last night after dinner. I just assumed getting up so early to go to the gym was starting to take its toll on me. The alarm went off this morning, I got up with every intention of heading out for exercise and WHACK! It was as if I had just walked into a brick wall. The wierd thing is that I don't FEEL sick. My throat is a little scratchy but no headaches, sore throat, or aches. My body is just like a wet rag - like the life has been sucked out of me. Greg was sick last week and said it sounds a lot like how his started. Unfortunately, he says, the worst is yet to come. Anyway, I didn't workout today but am giving myself credit for at least TRYING to drag myself there. I'm going to hit the sack early tonight and hopefully the extra rest will have me back at the gym in the morning.

My eating today wasn't so great. Not only was I hungrier than usual but it was munchy hungry. I've ended the day at 1700 calories which is certainly reasonable. But, I feel a little guilty because so much of it was snacky stuff. Healthy, but snacky all the same. How is it possible that someone who used to eat 3500 calories worth of fat and junk without giving it a second thought can feel guilty about 1700 calories worth of nutrient packed snacks? I know it partly stems from an unhealthy attitude towards food in general - it is always one extreme or another. Plus, I'm pretty full from dinner. Being too full triggers negative feelings these days. One of my goals while I work to lose these last 20 pounds is to try and find a happy medium. There just has to be a middle ground where my eating is reasonable and enjoyable without being micro- managed and laced with guilt. I'll find it, I know I will.

On a more postive note we finally had clear enough weather for me to take the kids to the pool. I can't say that I wasn't at all self conscious but I certainly felt a lot more confident wearing a swimsuit in public than I have in a long, long time. None of my kids can swim yet - it is very frustrating for me. They aren't scared of the water but none of them will put their faces in the water, go under, jump from the side, etc. Now, I grew up in the water and I don't ever remember a time that I was timid in a swimming pool. I know that this is one of those things that I can't push them to do. Just like riding a bike, when they are ready they will do it. But, knowing how much more fun they will have once the learn to swim makes not pushing them so hard for me. Will is especially difficult to deal with. First of all because most of his friends can swim as can the new friends he makes at the pool. So, even though he has fun, he tends to get left out/behind. Secondly, because Jake and Addie take their cues from him. The more he fights it the harder it becomes to get them more confident in the water. I just try and remind myself that we are there for them to have fun. And as long as they are enjoying themselves that is all that matters. Will had swim lessons last year and did really well but I'm not sure we'll sign him up again. But, it sure would be nice if they could get in the pool by themselves - and I could watch from the sidelines at least SOME of the time.

Gloria, I hate that you are having so much trouble. As if it isn't bad enough that you are dealing with the pain in your neck and back you have to deal with all of the pains in the *** too! I hope things get better for you soon, I really do. How are your tomatoes coming? I have so many now. I can't wait for them to ripen. I usually just put the plants out, stake them, and let them go. A little miricle grow here and there, weeding every now and then. But this year I have put a decent amount of effort into pruning and training them. I hope it all pays off. I'm concentrating less on quantity and more on quality. Still, it is so hard for me to sacrifice any of the fruit even though I know it is the best way to insure what I do harvest is the best tasting it can be. And my peppers are going CRAZY! They've had tons of flowers for a while but only 4 peppers growing. I picked those last weekend. All of the energy must have been going into those four because as soon as they were off the bush all of those other flowers spit out fruit that I can almost watch getting bigger.

Andria, it sounds like things are going well for you. I agree with you about the pool workouts. Will and I ran races across the pool today plus I pulled all three of them around in their swim rings playing "choo choo train." It was a good workout and easy on my knee to boot - I can't ask for much more than that. Now, it seems that congratulations are in order. 8 pounds? That is AWESOME! Oh, and as for getting your house in order - just take comfort knowing that mine is likely much, much worse. I've all but given up in that department. I swear, I can't get to any real cleaning for the constant picking up that I have to do. To top it off, if I finally do get a floor scrubbed or a bathroom sparkling it lasts all of about 10 minutes. Between the kids and the dog I'm not sure I'll ever have a clean house again.

Kat, what kind of karate is your son involved in? Will takes Tae Kwon Do. He finally earned the 4th and 5th stripes on his orange belt tonight so he'll be able to test for his green belt in a couple of weeks. I've been pleased with the results in his demeanor since he started back in November. It has been a real confidence booster for him. His instructor mentioned tonight that he needs to believe in himself. He gets nervous for no reason but once he sees he can do the combinations his confidence soars. Will is one of those kids that has every reason in the world to feel good about himself and has so many talents. But, for whatever reason, he struggles a bit with his self-esteem. I think it does him a lot of good to be involved in a sport where his only competition is himself. He's figuring out all that he is capable of and it is amazing to watch as he progresses.

Well, I've rambled enough and am off to bed. I sure hope I feel better in the morning. Have a great night everyone!

Tricia

I still didn't feel good but went in to work anyway. Now I have to work tomorrow because I am so far behind. UGH!! :mad:

At least I have a job, right!!! :) Trying to be optimistic.

Are you feeling better Tricia?

Oh, Gloria:
All that proves to me is that males will risk death if they can have $ex!! :rofl:

Have you seen that commercial about, I think it is Ciales? Something to help men have $ex? At the end the warning always says that if (hmmm don't know if I can type this here so instead of the actual word) a man stays "in the ready position" for over 4 hours they should seek medical treatment -
RIGHT, most men would be ecstatic if that happened - no way would they go to the doctor to end it. Everytime I hear that I have to laugh! :lol:

Okay off to bed. Sorry I haven't been here much but I till be better.

Did we have an ending date for the challenge? Are we doing this weekly?

Where is everyone?!?

I am starting to feel better but my eating has been out of control. I feel like I am slipping. To be honest I am starting to panic. Now, to put it all in persepective, calorie wise I am doing okay. Maybe a little higher than usual but certainly nothing that would keep me from maintaining if not still losing an ounce or two. I can't figure it out. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I am just munching out of boredom. Maybe because we have been housebound more than usual the last couple of days? It will be that TOM soon so perhaps I'm just hormonal?

It really is driving me crazy. I absolutley HATE to make excuses for myself but I honestly can't figure out what is going on. I feel like I take two steps forward then three steps back. But then I run my fitday reports and my calorie intake isn't all that bad. The past week's average has been 1600 - just 100 calories over my target. Why on Earth should I feel like I've blown it because of 100 lousy calories?

I know that I need to step back, relax, and just rethink my strategy from here on out. I mean it seems absurd to me that two or three posts back I was feeling in complete control and couldn't imagine being in this situation. I guess that is what throws me too - I don't have any concern that I will stop eating healthily or exercising regularly. I am not at all worried that I will regain any of the weight I've lost. However, I am slightly terrified that I will get out of weight loss mode and into maintaining mode if I don't get a hold of myself.

Maybe I just need to give it a rest this weekend. Be aware of my calorie intake but not sweat it, try a couple of new classes at the gym, and have Greg hide the scale for a few days. As I re-read this post I can see that I am probably making a mountain out of a molehill. I probably need to take a deep breath and focus on something besides food, calories, exercise, and fat for a couple of days.

Okay, I am done whining. Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to get a good night's sleep and face it with a MUCH better attitude than what I have right now. And, I WILL get back on track mentally, emotionally, and physically (with your help, of course!).

Have a great weekend!

Tricia

Hi there, girlies! Late post, but I had to get one in for the day. Lousy day that it was...so dreary and rainy. Supposedly tomorrow will be better, here's hoping!

Tricia, don't be so hard on yourself...you said it yourself: Great advice! Have a fun weekend and don't worry...you haven't come this far for nothing!

Lucky...I had to laugh at your theory on guys stuck in 'the ready position.' :lol: Jeff Foxworthy did a bit about going to the ER if that should happen. He siad he'd go, but he was gonna wear his gown BACKWARDS! :rofl:

So, how do the challenges run? Weekly? I did get two days of walking in this week, Had all good intentions for today, but that damn rain just wouldn't stop! :rain:

Bright and early tomorrow, my son is testing for his senior blue belt in Karate. To answer your question, Tricia, well, I can't...I'm not sure what kind it is that they do...but I don't think it's Tae Kwon Do. Yeah, I'm real attentive! Then I have the rest of the day to call my own. I'm thinking about a good walk along the boardwalk, weather permitting. Maybe I'll even bring the dog, if she's lucky. Or there's always a nice bike ride, but I'm a little hesitant about using my favorite bike trail...just recently there, some guy jumped out of the bushes at a female jogger. He was completely naked except for the condom that he was wearing! :o: Unfortunately for him, the gal he chose to jump was an off duty policewoman, armed with pepper spray and her cell phone! She chased him to his car and managed to get the license plate number as he got away. But not for long. Turns out it was a rental and easily traceable to the fellow who rented it. He doesn't live around here, but he is a vice president at Chase Manhattan Bank in NYC! Made the front page of not only our local papers, but the New York papers as well. Fine upstanding citizen there! Scary though...there are parts of the trail away from any houses, which is what's nice about it, but given the world we live in, it's also dangerous. SAD.

Well, on that happy note, I'm going to say nighty night to all...See you tomorrow!

Thanks, Kat, for the encouragement. :flow1:

I put some thought into how I have been feeling and think I've figured it all out. Lately, I've had a really rotten image of my body. I look in the mirror with the same amount of disgust that I had back in December. :( It isn't that I don't know how far I've come. I do. And for a while there I could appreciate the difference between how I looked then and how I look now. I've been hovering in this weight range long enough to stop appreciating how I look now and start critiquing it.

I am remembering back to when I was 214 lbs. and realize that the most detrimental attitude I ever had was thinking that I was so far gone that it wasn't even worth trying to lose weight. I'm not quite there yet but I feel it creeping up on me. So, there is only one thing to do. Bite the bullet and stick with the program even if my brain tries to talk me out of it.

So, it is back to basics for me. :drill:

I'm finally well now and so I am back to exercising like I know I need to. I'm going to be much more careful about the types of food I eat - part of my problem has to be that I've been eating the same foods for months so it is time to try some new things not just what is easy. And, I am going to get back into a routine. With Will out of school things haven't been as structured as they had been. And I am the kind of person that needs structure to successfully lose weight. And, finally, I'm back to hiding the scale. There is absolutley no reason for me to weigh every single day. For a while I loved hopping on because seeing 155 tickled me to death. It doesn't anymore. And heaven help us should I see it that number sneak up to 156 or 157.

I am also trying to remind myself that there was a time when I would read someone's post who was in the 150 range (or 180 for that matter) and think to myself how THRILLED I would be if I only had 30 pounds to lose. I thought those girls had it soooooo easy. Of course, now I know that isn't true. It doesn't matter whether you have 10 pounds or 200 pounds to lose - every ounce is a battle. So, I might have lost this last battle by letting myself get into such a funk but I fully intend to win the war.

Thanks, everybody, for letting me vent. I really needed to unload all these feelings and emotions. Now, I am good to go.

Good luck to us all! We can and WILL do this! :grouphug:

Have a great day!

Tricia

Hi all! I hope everyone is having a good weekend...I'm on my way outside to putter around the yard....watering, weeding, plotting and planning. I just got back from and art exhibit...my nephew had some pieces displayed. My budding Picasso! Made me realize that I should get back to my sketch pad, I do enjoy that.

Okay, back outside for me. Dinner will be grilled and eaten outside today, it finally feels like a June day around here...hot and sunny! :flow2:

Have a great day...what's left of it!

Back to the grind tomorrow!

Just got back from my one nephew's school Swing Concert. They did a Beatle tribute. Afterwards he said he could see me singing along to all the songs they did - too bad you weren't here Kat, we could have been a duo in the audience.

It is still wet and rainy here.

I feel better (today) finally so it's back on the exercise band wagon. Are we starting a new challenge each week? No one spoke up on the duration.

Off to rest for a few before bed.

Roll call on exercise for last week. I did 54 min on Monday - and after that it was sick ville.

Last week's exercise for me was:

Tuesday - 35 minutes on elliptical, 45 minutes on weights
Wednesday - 20 minutes on the stationary bike, 45 minutes jog/walk combo on treadmill
Thursday, Friday, Saturday - sick, but did get some activity in at the pool on Saturday
Sunday - 15 minutes Jog/walk combo on treadmill, 1 hour on weights, 20 minutes on stationary bike.

And, surprisingly, I have been getting up and going to the gym before the kids get up in the morning. The alarm goes off, I have to get up to go to the bathroom, and the entire time I'm peeing I'm talking myself out of getting back in bed! I just keep saying to myself, "Do you want to lose this weight or not?" over and over. This morning it was drizzling out and there was a little thunder in the distance - the perfect kind of day to sleep in. Plus, a storm woke Addie up last night so she was in my bed and is the best little snuggler anybody could ask for. It took every ounce of will I had to brush my teeth and go. But, I sure do feel better now that I am home, it is over, and I don't have to think about exercising again until tomorrow.

Is everybody doing okay these days? I hope our Sanctuary isn't starting to fizzle out. Where is everybody? Anyway, have a great day!

Just pulling us back up to the top! I really don't have a lot to share, actually. My exercise, so far today, consists of MAJOR vacuuming and dusting. I did actually work up a sweat! I had intended to get out and walk, but it's just so hot and humid (I can hardly believe that I was moaning about how COLD it was for June, not 5 days ago!) I am going to put my Beach Body DVD on in a few minutes. I WILL meet this challenge!

(It IS to exercise daily, isn't it?) If not, it is for me!

That's all from this end, for now. I'm back to work tonight, <groan> and off to visit Mom and Dad tomorrow. Dad is doing okay, actually. He's had two chemo sessions so far (once a month) He gets really tired and washed out for about a week after, and then bounces badk eventually. Like that rubber ball. He's too much!

SO...that's all I got. Have a good night, kids!

I am feeling better now, but my computer is acting up - maybe it got the flu from me! :lol:

We have a bad storm coming in so I have to hurry and get my computer shut off. When I first moved here I left my computer on all the time and during a storm was hit by lightening somewhere close to the house and it fried my modem....now I am more careful.

Eating has been good because it still makes me queasy.

Later,

:dunno: Where is everybody? Gloria? Lucky? I hope you girls are okay out there!

Exercise is still going well. :ebike: My weight loss has picked up a little and I attribute it to uping my weights, switching to a morning work out, and increasing my calories to about 1800. First of all, I think I have finally built enough muscle to reap the benefits of buring a few extra calories during the day and while sleeping. Second, I am exercising more often because I don't have any excuses at 5:00 a.m. plus I think mixing it up a bit helped get me over the hump. Finally, I've been eating more which I think has jump started my metabolism. I know I'll need to cut back down to 1500 in a couple of weeks or so but this seems to be the mix that is working right now. :D

Kat, I can tell you have really dedicated yourself to getting fit. I am so proud for you - we are behind you all of the way!

Our summer has kicked into overdrive. Besides getting hot, :hot: we are spending quite a bit of time at the pool and working out in the garden (you should see my tomatoes! I can hardly wait until they are ripe!). Plus, I take the kids for different activities around town. Our public library has a wonderful summer reading program and the city hosts lots of family nights at various parks, etc. I've gotten my sewing machine out and am working on a couple of sun dresses for Addie. Some of you may remember these but back in the 80's we used to make T-shirt dresses by cutting one t-shirt just under the arm and then sewing it to the bottom of the other shirt. You can leave the seam plain but we used to hot glue a ribbon or something around it or use ribbon as trim around the sleeves and hem. I needed a risk free project to get the feel of my sewing machine back so I used some old shirts that Will and Jake have outgrown and made a couple for Addie. They make great running around dresses, bathing suit cover ups, etc. They turned out so cute I'm going to make a couple for me too. Cheap and easy, just the way I like it!

:cry: Oh, and I am just broken hearted for a friend. Actually, she is my sister's best friend but I call her a friend as well. Anyway, her sister, brother-in-law, and their two children (3 and 5, I think) were on their way home when their vehicle crossed the center line and they hit a truck head on. All four of them were killed. As you can imagine, our friend and her family are absolutley devestated. I held my kids a little closer when we found out. Family is so precious and it is so hard to comprehend that an entire one could be taken so easily. It is just heartbreaking.

Well, come out to play when you can. I miss you guys! :)

Tricia

Sorry i haven't been around lately but I've been buried in paper work. I really cant talk about it, but i can tell you that the paper work has to do with my law suit from the car accident back in 2003. Would you believe that the lawyers want to know what i had for supper the day after the accident? Well, maybe not that extreme, but pretty close to it. All I've been doing for the past week and a half is trying to find people, places and phone numbers.

Tricia, my hart goes out to you. I don't know what to say to help you feel better. To loose a friend because of a car accident is painful, but a whole family is so very tragic. I hope you will take comfort in knowing you have friends hanging around your computer if you ever need to have a good cry.

Glad to see you are feeling better, Lucky. You know, i heard somewhere that vine ripened tomatoes can make a person feel a lot better if they been sick. I know a person that lives in Mississippi that has tomatoes almost ready for the picken.

Hi Kat, hum, yes you have to exercise everyday. Do you live close to the ocean? If you do, i am so jealous. Must be wonderful to be able to exercise right on the beach.

Andria, okay girlfriend, where are you?

Yuck, Gloria. I hate paperwork of any kind - but what you are dealing with has to be the worst. Seems like all that red tape is in place to insure that the people asking for all that paperwork get paid instead of you.

When Jake and Addie were born I went around and around with the hospital, a medical billing company, and a collection agency. We were required to pay for Jake's circumcision in advance. No problem, we wrote them a check for $150. After we got home and started recieiving all of the insurance claims. We had one that had been rejected - it was a bill for ADDIE'S circumcision - because that procedure isn't covered. So, I called the hospital and explained that Addie is a GIRL and that they had charged us incorrectly. Well, of course, THEY can't help me. I have to call the company that does their billing (shouldn't YOU call the billing company? After all, YOU told them to bill me!). The billing company says they will take care of it. Great. Next thing you know, I'm getting phone calls from a collection agency that the billing company uses. I explain it all to them and am told I have to go back to the billing company. Cripes. This went on for months. Finally, I get the last straw, super nasty, collection call all but threatening me over this $150.00. I was at WORK at the time. I was PISSED and FED UP. I said, in my ugliest tone and probably too loud a voice for a professional environment, "Lady, this $150 is for circumscising my DAUGHTER. Let me assure you that if I REALLY owe this money you people have a **** of a lot more to worry about than getting this money from me. I suggest you speak to the company that hired you to call me and work it out amongst yourselves!" FINALLY, it got taken care of. Thank goodness they never reported to the credit bureaus or I would probably STILL be fighting that battle.

And what really grates my nerves is that every single time Jake and Addie have a doctor's appointment on the same day one of their claims gets denied because the insurance company doesn't look at the social security numbers like they are supposed to just the last name and birthday. They assume they are the same kid. I call them and they say the doctor's office turned the same claim in twice, the doctor's office says they submitted seperate ones (and have the fax back up to prove it) but they still have to do it again. It usually takes two or three times before these knuckleheads get it right. It has gotten to the point that, unless they are sick, I take them on seperate days because that takes LESS time than the song and dance I have to do if I don't.

Anyway, I hate you are dealing with all of that crap. I hope everything gets settled for you soon.

Now, on a more pleasant note, I've lost 3 pounds this week! I am absolultely, positively dumbfounded. I have a feeling it is a fluke and I'll be back to losing a couple of ounces a week soon enough but for now I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy it. It has to be a result of moving my exercise to the mornings. First, I think I probably work out a little harder because I'm not worn out from the day yet. Also, I read somewhere that exercising in the morning before breakfast results in your body going straight to its fat stores for energy as opposed to burning carbs/sugar from your most recent meals. Makes sense, I guess. The downside is that I am much hungrier throughout the day when I exercise in the morning. My calories have been a good bit higher than usual. I suspect I'll eventually adjust to this exercise routine and it will become less effective. I worry that it will be hard to cut my calories back again at that point. We'll see.

Oh, and guess what? Will learned to swim today! I am so proud of him. He is so excited. He finally realizes how much more fun the pool is when you actually put your face in the water. And that little rascal took off like a fish - it was great. Now if I can get Jake and Addie to do the same I may be able to get out of the pool and get a tan BELOW my shoulders!

Gotta run. Have a great night!
Tricia

Hey, gals! It's a hot and sunny Saturday, here in NJ! My kids have flown the coop...daughter is at some concert weekend thing in Tennessee...any hear of "Bonaroo Music and Arts Festival?" No, me either, before this. She and two friends drove down and are camping out, along with 50.000 other festival goers. My first thought was to say an emphatic "NO" and then I realized that that is exactly what my parents would have said to me...of course they said NO to everything, so I kind of had to weed out the really unreasonable stuff myself. <I digress> I know she's a smart, capable young woman, with a modicum of common sense, so off she went. With promises of twice daily phone calls to assure Mom and Dad that she is alive and well. So far, so good. *sigh* Enjoy those little ones while they're young, Tricia! They're much easier to control!

My son was asked to go camping with a friend and his family at their trailer for the weekend in the Poconos, PA. Much closer to home and there will be sensible parental units along for his ride! Visions of paintballing are dancing in his head!

Hubby is sleeping at the moment, he worked last night. I have to work tonight, but I have the day to myself! Whoo hoo! Sadly, here I am...There's lots for me to do, but I believe I'm going to take my self over to the gym and get a GOOD workout in. I haven't been there in a while and my weight is showing it. I replaced the batteries in my scale today and was HORRIFIED at the numbers displayed. I can't even bring myself to change my ticker tape thingy, I'm so disgusted with myself.

BUT! I will not be wallowing and lanquishing in self hatred and self pity...I intend to grab this bull by the horns, get down to business and JUST DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE! 1. Stop eating junk! 2. EXERCISE! 3. NO EXCUSES!

So....that's my plan.

again

Have a great, productive, day all. Do something that makes you happy!!

Hey! Andria! Where are you, chickie? Is this the time of the Tony visitation? I will cut you some slack, if so. But we want to hear about it! Miss you!

Hi to everyone else...I gotta get moving!