Julie, tell DH about the $900. It's lousy to have to sneak and actually easier to tell the truth. From my rich and vast experience in this, I have finally learned this as the truth. It might be hard and he'd be pissed for a couple days, but then he knows that you told him the truth.

Kerry, a loss is normal at the beginning. don't sweat that. I'm still so excited for you.

Lori, I like your 3 day rule. I will have to see if I can incorporate it into my mania. Yes, I swung to the mania without the stabilizers. I admit I'm having a blast. So far, so good on the spending. I have no desire to buy anything. Perhaps I did all my purchases in all the past manias. ;)

As I mentioned I'm definitely manic. I'm having so much fun writing and chatting at everyone. No one here (work) has known me without meds so they're wondering what the heck happened to me. I'm usually quiet and introverted on meds, and now I'm extroverted and chatting up a storm (the real me).

I'm in love. Yes, I met a man yesterday on the phone and I was thinking that he was one of the coolest men I've met. All heck broke free at work (our 4 district servers crashed almost simaultaneously - I know that's spelled wrong... but who cares -) and I had to call him, our district's go to person that we contract out for his services. He had the coolest voice and sense of humor. He knew I was stressed and over my head. He calmed me down and made jokes the whole time. I fell in love. Cool, guy. I told DH he was great. Didn't tell DH that I thought phone sex would be fun. Okay, just kidding (a little). So I have a crush on him. BTW, incredibly smart - I have no idea if he's old, young, ugly, cute, etc. Just that he had a great presonality. I will grill my co-worker when he returns to get a basic picture. Ha, ha, ha. I love mania.

I suppose I should work again. I'll chat with you later.
Marie

my computer is broken so I'm quickly letting you guys know I didn't jump ship. I'm at my mom's and I'll be back tomorrow to catch up!

Not looking good :(
 

I think I'm miscarrying again. :cry: I started bleeding this morning. I guess I've done all I could to sustain this one. I feel kinda numb to it. :( DH is taking it hard.

Kerry- My thoughts and prayers are with you today.

Kerry, I hope your not, but if you are it's ok! It's so hard to have this keep happening. What do they say is the problem? Tell DH not to get to bent out of shape, this happens to ALOT of people. I know my mom had 3-4 miscarrages before she got me. She took a fertility pill of some kind and well here I am. Now granted she did have my brother 5 years before I came along, but she had a hard time the next time. Oh and BTW her friend took the same pill and wound up with 4 babies so guess it was what my mom needed. Now as for me, I can't carry them when they start getting big I go into labor. I'll tell you what I was 18 the first time I got preg. carried the baby for 5 months and went into labor, went to the hospital and they gave me a shot for the pain and sent me home. I passed out and all but had the baby at home coz I was overly drugged. By the time we got back to the hospital it was to late so they made me deliver him. I was a basket case for months. But when I wound up prego with my oldest son I was 21 and I was a wreck, but numb just incase it happened again, that's why I wouldn't buy anything, do anything, and we didn't have the shower until after he was born. I was not getting attached period. And yes I went into labor early with him, but I went to the city and they stopped it and gave me steriods to get his lungs functioning. When I had him he was only 4 lbs 13 oz. but looked like a monster in the neo unit. Those babies were 2-3 lbs. Dust your butt off, keep taking good care of yourself and you'll get that baby if you have to do a head stand for 9 months!!!! Snap out of the depression right now, you've made huge progress and you need to keep up the good habits. I look back now and I was way to immature at 18 to have a kid, 21 was almost still to young. Your getting yourself established with the job, house, and your health. Don't dwell on it the doc may hold the key with the meds they are planning on giving you! I hope you can still do this again in Sept. Well keep us posted were all thinking of you.

BTW, picked up a moniter and it seems to have solved the computer problem! I have to get a shower, were running the sticks at the football games tonight, have to take our turn helping out. Love you Kerry big Huggs it will be fine I PROMISE!!!!! Tell DH to not whine look at the practice he's getting!!!!

Kerry, my thoughts and prayers are with you today. Know that you're loved.
Marie

Well I'm home today with a sick child. She is still running a temp off and on and doesn't have an appetite yet....wish I had that problem!!! I hate taking off work when school just started but not much I could do about it. DH is leaving tomorrow and will be gone until Sunday so it might be along week. I was bored this weekend so I updated a bunch of pics to the blog I have for the kids at http://www.camandhan.blogspot.com if anyone wants to check it out. I don't know why but I decided to play around with one for me and I have spent days trying to customize a template on blogger...it is so hard!!! I finally went over to typepad.com and they have a free 30 day trial right now so I signed up. It is definately easier to customize then blogger is. You can check it out at http://www.pagebypaige.typepad.com . Let me know what you think, I am still playing around with it and have already changed the customized header twice. I might play around some more today and if I can come up with a better one using my digital scrapbook kits I'll change it again.

Kerry- I have been thinking about you all weekend and I hope you are doing better. Big hugs!!!!!!!

Anyway I will check back in later to see if anyone has been around.

Kerry- I'm so sorry. Are you ok? You and your husband are in my prayers.

Marie-You are probably right. I should tell him, he knows that the balance is higher than normal, but he doesn't know by how much....it is really bugging me and I am trying to put the breaks on my spending...it's tough with all the weight that I lost. I desperately need new clothes. The last couple of pairs of capris I bought are getting too big already. It's nice that I am losing weight, but this is going to be costly, since I have to at least buy business casual clothes.

Paige-Your kids are adorable! Cool blog!

Lori-good to see that you are still around!

ttyl

Thanks for all the kind word, thoughts and prayers. You are kind and wonderful friends. I don't know what I would do without my online buddies since almost no one IRL knows. I did tell my boss this morning and she was just great about all of it. My bf at work knows too, which is helpful.

The bleeding has slowed. I had blood drawn first things this morning to check my levels and I'm going to the doc at 1:30 for the results and consult.

I'll let you know what I learn and how it turns out. I'm trying to remain somewhat hopeful since things have slowed to almost nothing today.

A quick post from SF
 

Thought I should check in with you quickly since I didn't get back in here before we left town. I have WiFi in the hotel and my laptop. NICE ;)

Spent most of Monday afternoon with my OB. Not good news. I seem to have lost what there was of an early pg. He was much afeared of ectopic, but could not find anything to confirm. So he cleared me for travel. Thank GOD! I needed to escape.

So as you can imagine, I am indulging in all earthly pleasures and will enjoy that trip to Napa to the fullest. We've had our moments of sadness, but also renewed vigor to try again and get it right.

Doc was awesome, reassuring and ready to back us to do whatever we want. Those decisions will be confronted when I see him next week.

Thanks again for being such awesome friends and support. Funny how my weight loss support group has turned into my all-around support group :) I'll admit I've put on a few pounds and I'm not going to do good in SF either, but I'll make up for it next month and maybe even get to that 135!

See you when I get back! (((Hugs))) to all of you - You ROCK!

Can you say BUSY????

Man, I forgot how crazy football was last year!!! Well I had to leave work early today for the kid's physicals so I have an extra 2 seconds and I couldn't wait to spend it chatting with you guys!!!

Kerry, I'm sorry that it was a miscary, I was kinda hoping for one of those odd bleeds that don't really mean anything, but guess not. Glad your in SF parting til the cows come home, when you get back you can re-focus your weight loss with ease! How much easier it is to lose a couple of pounds instead of 30+!!!! Keep us posted to see what the doc suggests for your next move!!!! And start walking now, you'll enjoy it and it will be good for you in all kinds of ways.

Paige, love the sites!! The kids are just too cute!!! Love the canyon pictures that is really cool. I can't wait till we go, in 2 summers!!!! How's that sick kid??? How's the new school year going? I can't wait for our boys to start back in 2 weeks!!! I'm just slightly awed, this is my oldest's last year in grade school, I wasn't ready for high school, guess I have a year to adjust!!

Marie, where are you?? How's the non-meds going???? Are you still seeing a loss??? Guess I just want to be sure your doing ok!!!!

Julie, I know about needing new clothes. I cleaned out my closet and couldn't find anybody to take my old clothes. I was horrified, none of our local donation stores would take them. I said to the lady, "You mean you don't want all of these name brand jeans that I have probably spent hundreds of dollars on???" They wouldn't take them, so I dropped them off for a friend to sift through and hopefully pass on. I never spend cheap on my clothes coz I'm a jerk about them lasting. Let me buy one thing that dosen't last and I'll never buy anything from that company again. Like my LEI jeans, I'll never buy another pair of them again. They are wearing out way to fast for the money that they cost. Oh and my son's South Pole shorts, the button fell off the 3rd week of school last year (that's 3 times worn) and they wouldn't replace them or send me a new button. Guess what I'm not buying this year!!!!

Ok, I have to run, the kids have practice soon and I need to start dinner. BTW my weight is up this week, but I've noticed during TOM and then 2 weeks later during my ovulation (sp) I seem to put on 2 lbs faithfully for a couple of days so I'll re-check it again on Monday.

Hi Lori, Kerry, Julie and Paige, First I am so sorry Kerry. I checked everyday to see if you wrote how you are. I've been overwhelmed and busy, but I still checked daily. There are times that being a woman sucks and I swear pregnancy issues is one of them. Then on the other hand we're the ones that get to carry the baby. Ah, life is interesting. Regardless, Kerry, you have my condolescences.

Lori, don't you just love football? Might be crazy but it's fun. Little boys (or girls I guess) in their full armor running around after the funny shaped ball is great. I loved when DS played.

Speaking of DS - the one that moved out in May with plantonic friend who happens to be a girl - yep, you're getting the picture... I found out that I'm going to have a grandbaby. I am so completely excited, it's just awesome. Soon to be DIL is 13 weeks so the scariest time is over. The ultrasound picture is really neat. She and I went over DS's baby book and baby pictures last night after we swam. We had a nice time. Anyway, I'm going to be a grandma and they're moving in with us. DS2 is leaving soon for basic training so it won't be quite as busy. We're converting the garage into a big open room for them. They'll be on the opposite side of the house with firewall insulation so I'll still be able to sleep. Play with baby all day, I get to sleep all night. Sound perfecto to moi. :) They'll be moving in during the next month. We have a month to remodel a garage into a real room. $$$ At least we have them for this.

Julie, I know my advice was easy to give, but hard to do. I just know that I can sleep at night and I couldn't when I kept the balances from DH. I wish you a lot of good thoughts. It's truly a hard thing to face the music.

Paige, the pictures are great. You have adorable kids. I do admit I admired the landscaping around the pool. I love the rocks.

I'm still doing good off the meds. I told DH to take my credit cards since I'm manic and I have a grandbaby to shop for. He hasn't done it but I warned him. :) I will never go back on them unless I get really, really, institutionalized type of bad. I have lost 4.5 pounds since getting back from the cruise and my clothes are getting lose. I'm up to 20 situps and I've been exercising regularly. The odd thing is that I'm drinking water. The meds made me so thisty with a nasty taste in my mouth that I drank and drank lots of soda. Soda is now upsetting my tummy (enough to actually puke today) and only water is good. I guess caffeine withdrawal is next because the thought of a soda is nauseating.

Kerry, I hope you're having fun 325 miles south of here. Napa and SF are great. I'm so glad you had this planned out.

TTYL.
Marie

hello!
 

Kerry-I don't know what to say other than I'm so sorry for your loss, and that we are all here for you. I'm glad you got to go away. Sometimes that is the best thing to clear your head. Just take it easy and enjoy yourself!

Lori- I often wonder how moms who work handle all that running around :dizzy: I'm due to find out myself soon. Right now the only thing I am dealing with is picking my son up from the baby sitter after work a couple of days a week and that takes up enough time. Poor kid has not been napping lately and when I pick him up he is so exhausted. The drive is about 35 minutes and he is out cold in the first 5. And when I get him home I can't wake him up. He missed dinner last night, I tried everything I could think of to wake him but nothing worked. So of course at 10:30 last night he woke wanting to eat :lol: So he ate and went back to bed. Thank goodness. We have all been walking around like zombies lately.

Marie-Congrats on becomming a grandma! :bravo: I'm sure you will enjoy having your son around again. Not to mention a new baby to help look after! You can spoil him or her rotten!

I lost another pound this week...don't hate me too much. :^: I think the girls in the office are ready to lynch me. I started off heavier than most of the women here now I weigh less than everyone except one person. And now I have everyone in the office, including 2 of the guys on diets :lol: They all keep telling me I need to stop. That I don't need to lose anymore, but I am going for another 9 lbs...I can't stand having this pot belly. Besides that will put me right in the middle of most weight chart recommendations. ;) Guess I should get back to work. Have a good day everyone! :)

TTYL